DD has a mobile, given just prior to leaving primary. She uses it to keep in touch with her primary school friends as she went to a different secondary but now talks to new ones with it too, which I don't mind. It's mostly stupid chainmail or asking about homework.
So she leaves her phone laying around with screen on and dh sees it has a message from a boy at new school (in her year she says bit I cannot verify, though she also speaks to boys that are friends from primary). He reads through a few and is shocked to see them both refer to him (the boy) as her bf. So he takes the phone to show me. I had a look through the whole convo...It's long...and it started off that that they were "together", she broke up with him for a prank, he was upset and wanted her to apologise. Then told her if she wanted them to be bf/gf again she would have to ask HIM out this time. So she did. Omg, I was seething.
The rest of the conversation is super fine with me, talking about games they play, homework, why they weren't in whatever club or class, things that could easily have just been from another girl.
Dh wanted me to chat with her as he already wanted to strangle the boy (figuratively, obviously) so I did. I told her that it's fine to have friends that are boys, it's fine to think they are cute (I did this myself at that age so I do understand) fine to chat and hang out, but 11year olds DO NOT HAVE BOYFRIENDS. It's just not a thing. I told her that playing a prank on someone as she confirmed she did, is not a nice thing to do but she is not to let a boy TELL her she needs to apologise and do it, if she cares or wants to, she will. He'd also told her she should prove she was sorry, she asked how and he said don't know, cry. I explained this was also not acceptable.
She says they are friends and that she understands what I'm saying but that she doesn't really "like" him. I do think she is lying about that but I do understand (found the usual "love scribblings" in her school planner-told her to keep them out of it). I don't want to be mum-friend but I do want her to feel she can talk to me openly if she needs to. I also explained that privacy was different when I was growing up and everything is more out in the open now but that she deserves privacy (with her phone, etc) but that it comes with honesty and trust so as long as she is doing that I won't be snooping through her phone every second. I do, slyly, about once a week just to make sure she is ok and being sensible as she is easily lead and not really emotionally mature.
Dh very uncomfortable with the whole thing but if he had his way she'd probably never speak to a male until 25! (lighthearted). Should I worry, should I say anything else? Those of you with pre-teen dd's, have you had this?!