I am well aware that it takes two to make a baby. DH reassured me he would get the snip and that it would be fine to remove my extremely problematic mirena coil that caused me so much misery. Had a few excuses as to why it hadn't happened yet, on a wait list...wrong code given by gp etc etc. My cycle was obviously more messed up than I thought, and now I'm seven months pregnant with my third child, with a gap of a decade between the youngest and this baby. I didn't want another baby, but he was happy and persuaded me to keep it. I'm really hoping that in time I will come to be happy about this baby, and once he's here I will love him and be grateful. But at this moment I'm really struggling because I (unreasonably I know) blame him for this situation. I have friends whose husbands got it done with no issues. He now has prostate problems and probably won't be able to have the snip for a few months at least, or will use it as yet another reason why he can't. I'm nearly 40 btw, I don't want to start any more contraception as I feel I've done my bit. I know i'm being awful. I just can't seem to help myself feeling this way :(
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It must be very distressing to feel this way but rationally you really can't blame your DH.
Might it be worth having a chat with your Midwife or GP now about how you are feeling. Particularly if you have PND before.
This must be really hard But I second other posters who say you can't blame your partner for not getting an operation. Hope you start to feel better soon.
I do sympathise, GTS.
I fell pregnant on the Mirena. I had planned a career change, that I was unable to go through with, because I could no longer afford the temporary reduction in earnings. I couldn't bear to face the situation, so I barely spoke to DH about the pregnancy. I used to cry at every midwife appointment and other antenatal appointment, because they were the times I really had to face up to what was going on.
In retrospect, I should have had counselling, and perhaps I would have chosen to terminate the pregnancy.
In the event, I have a lovely, nearly teenage son, and I have no regrets. But I think it would help you to talk to someone outside of the situation, like a counsellor.
Ummm lets not jump to the fact op won't love her baby fgs not everyone is overwhelmed with excitement during pregnancy
Op you know it's not really dhs fault as obviously you still had sex but I think you already know that anyway
Different situation for me having ds but Similair feelings . young recently single ( he cheated on me ) and accidently pregnant ! Not what I had planned for that point in time at all !!! spent much of my pregnancy feeling really thrown in at the deep end with the massive life changes that were taking place - best thing to ever happen to me !!!! You know how Much you love your Dc and this baby will be no different
Could you look into having yourself sterilised after this pregnancy?
My first I just kind of went along with and it was bloody hard for the first two years after not bonding with her but now I wouldn't change her for the world but it's a horrendous way to feel. You can't blame your DH for this though, try not to let resentment brew as it would be unfair.
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