I need some help or advice as I really feel like I'm going mad, or turning into a complete bitch., one of the two.
I've been with my bf about a year and Im not sure what is going on. We've always had a, shall we say passionate relationship, in as such we are both fiesty and quite opionated. Never violent but often heated verbal confrontations, but recently I just feel like I'm going mad with it all, please tell me I'm not imagining this.
I don't even know how to begin explaining what has been happening but I will try.
We argue alot, there have been some big changes for us both recently, but whenever we disagree it always ends up being my fault.
I'm drunk/hormonal /being silly/being unreasonable. What starts off as a simple sharing of different opinions always becomes how I'm trying to cause an argument. The thing is he agrees with nothing I say, nothing
Now while I understand that it takes two to argue it's that if my opinion is different to his it's wrong.
When he says he wants something done one way he'll ask my opinion, explain his point of view then just keep repeating his view until I end up getting the hump. I'll go quiet or try and the change the subject but he will keep revisiting it or saying things like baby why are you being silly. He says everything he does is to make me happy and doesn't understand what more he can do. He asks if I'm due on or tells me to go and calm down. I get so frustrated which then annoys me. I try not to react, but even the times when I agree for an easy life he goes on and on until I am pissed off. It feels like once I get to this stage he starts talking calmly and lovingly asking me to calm down or stop getting angry. I really am beginning to feel like there's something wrong with me because I'm left feeling like bitch and he starts the charm offensive.
Sometimes he has been damn right out of order/rude and on these occasions, during the course of a normal disagreement he will apologise, ask me to forgive him assure me understands and cam see where he went wrong. In the past when we've talked about things and I think issues are resolved as soon as we get back to cuddling or being happy he starts making little 'funny' comments about it being because I was moody or tired. It's like he just telling me it wasn't his fault, it was caused by me. Im probably not explaining this very well, this is what I mean I'm always left feeling like I'm being unreasonable.
He has said to me in the past that it's because I don't like myself and know how to let someone love me but I don't agree. Yes I have had a shit relationship in the past but I worked alot on my issues and actually felt completely in control and at peace with myself when I met him. I have tried to break it off with him before but he bombards me with messages / contact and within days it's blown over. He acts like there's nothing wrong and it was just a 'silly disagreement' and I'm left wondering in a confused state what it actually was that I had caused a huge drama out of.
I've been unhappy in previous relationships but have never felt anything like this. Do you think this is just a case of two people who need to communicate better and that it can be worked on or am actually loosing the plot.