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Original poster

Is my gut feeling wrong?

54 replies

Inexperiencedchick · 06/12/2016 20:40

So, have been exchanging messages with someone over the phone, met online.
After few weeks offered him to meet up, he was up for it.
Agreed for the 7th of December.
Yesterday I texted him to double check if he is still available to meet.
He texted back saying his friend from another country came and he has been invited for a meal at 8:30, so he could allocate me only 30 min before going to see his friend. Or he is happy to change for Thursday.
My reply was for him not to worry about Wednesday and enjoy his time with a friend and for me being busy on Thursday.
He know I can't do on Thursdays, and I dont want to be rushed while meeting someone. I felt like someone is offering me some of his time so I could shut up... or am I exaggerating?
He appologised and explained that he only found out about it over the weekends. But every single time he offers something, he doesn't follow it through and finds an excuse.
My question is:
Am I right to trust my gut feelings and not wanting to meet up with him anymore?
Have I been just played pathetically?

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 07/12/2016 10:50

So he knew since the weekend and only told you when you texted to confirm? When was he going to tell you?

He should have texted you straightaway and asked if you would possibly consider moving the date due to an unexpected special occasion that had just popped up. This is just rude.

xStefx · 07/12/2016 10:52

always trust your gut, ive got in trouble for not trusting it before.

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 07/12/2016 14:56

Velour, this is what it is...

OP posts:
Adora10 · 07/12/2016 17:30

You're his fall back girl, don't waste any more time on the knob.

Shayelle · 07/12/2016 17:48

I think 30 mins is fine for a first meet. You might not like him then you dont have to be lumbered for hours trying to escape

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 07/12/2016 18:38

Shayelle, I'm fine with 30 min myself, and it's true there might be no attraction from both sides...
It was just presented in a different way. Or do you think I'm looking for a reason not to meet him?

OP posts:
Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 07/12/2016 18:48

To be honest I'm upset. Last week when we were messaging each other and I offered to chat on the phone instead. He agreed to call 5 min later. Texted 45 min later saying he had a call from a friend and it's better if we chat the next day as I usually go to bed around 11pm.
Am I missing something here?

OP posts:
Anatidae · 07/12/2016 18:59

Trust your gut. When you're just starting out dating you're on your best behaviour and trying to impress.

This is him on his best behaviour and it's not great is it? Bin him off

Squirter · 07/12/2016 19:19

DELETE
NEXT

TheDowagerCuntess · 07/12/2016 19:25

You're not missing anything. You're being given the message loud and clear: he's not that bothered.

Move on.

KinkyAfro · 07/12/2016 19:27

Married

AhNowTed · 07/12/2016 20:05

Yep, married

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 07/12/2016 21:37

Do you really think he is married?
When I asked for his surname he didn't give it.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 07/12/2016 21:43

He's got married written all over him.
Even if he's not, the very first sign that he's not bothered, you should walk away. It sounds like you've been hanging on way past a first sign!
Just delete his number, move on, and stop giving idiots chances!
The good ones simply don't fuck you around.

SmellySphinx · 07/12/2016 21:52

I'm another one to say forget it.
I thought he may be using the 'friend from abroad' as an excuse to just have the 30min window so he had an exit strategy if he wasn't sure at the first meet up. After you mention that he previously said he'd call then another 'friend' popped up...well that's a warning sign. I think you'll find that these friends keep interrupting every plan you make. He either has a girlfriend/girlfriends or he is married.

SmellySphinx · 07/12/2016 21:53

He's also a lazy bastard. It's the typical friend this friend that excuse

Bingybongybashy · 07/12/2016 21:57

Tell him to jog on! He's wasting your time!

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 07/12/2016 21:58

Smelly, that's why I didn't accept 30 min meet up.

Usually, I'm up for it myself. But because there already was "friend" excuse I just told myself "he is trying to find and excuse"...

OP posts:
Sweets101 · 07/12/2016 21:58

I don't think he'should necessarily married but I would guess he's not actually all that bothered for any of 100 reasons. I'very done the same myself when I was on dating sites for a myriad of reasons but it all came down to the fact that I didn't really want to meet up.
Bin him and move on.

Sweets101 · 07/12/2016 21:59

Sorry for the typos my predictive text is doing its best at being exceedingly irritating

SmellySphinx · 07/12/2016 22:01

Yeah, I wouldn't have either although it could have worked for you too I suppose. I've been there and you try to see the positive before the negative, you've been sensible so far and good on you for questioning his behaviour. I only comment because I've had similar experience x

tiej · 07/12/2016 22:07

He knew you wouldn't meet for 30 minutes, so then you're the one to cancel.

He's a waste of time.

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 08/12/2016 04:02

Thank you ladies 💐

OP posts:
Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 08/12/2016 14:46

So he is back into the scene, just texted asking how I'm.

I haven't replied.

How thick one could be?

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 08/12/2016 15:30

Stay strong OP. As tiej said he's definitely a waste of time.

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