FindingSmeagol and the period prick (update)

[FindingSmeagol]

I appreciate that I posted a long while back in the summer and many, many women seek help on here for what must sound like terribly similar problems so I'm not sure if anyone remembers. Also, due to some potentially identity revealing posts I'm unable to link the support thread that kicked things off on here. In a nutshell I had been in only one relationship since my early teens and failed to realise it was both emotionally and sexually abusive.

However, good news. Myself and my daughter left him! It certainly wasn't instant and we had a disturbing period of living together as a semi separated couple. I also relapsed very recently on the alcohol front but I'm back firmly on the wagon.

We are living far away from him now and for the first time since I was 16 I'm a single woman. Terrifying and exhilarating in equal measure!

Thank you to the many posters who helped me to recognise that my situation was far from normal and gently directed me to seek appropriate real life help.

This is fantastic news! Well done Smeagol, that must have taken strength you didn't even know you had. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas and a happy life with your DD

Congrats!! I don't think I read your original thread but I recently left an emotionally abusive relationship and I know how hard it is! I hope you and your DD have a magical Christmas and continue to live life happily and peacefully

Congratulations Smeagol.

I remember your thread, and how brave and strong you were as you came to realise that his behaviour was abusive. I'm so pleased that you and your daughter are away from him and I wish you both a very happy Christmas and a very bright future.

I remember your thread and am so glad to hear you've left that horrible man. What a good example you are to your daughter. Stay strong, stay sober and have a wonderful life. You're brilliant!

I remember your thread. Congratulations

Oh Smeagol that's absolutely wonderful! Well done and thank you so much for updating- your news has made my week

Wow I am so happy for you! I remember your threads and think of you and your DD often x

I read your thread and I'm so pleased you got away from him. You are an amazing person capable of great things, never ever forget that. Wishing you the best with love. Well done you.

I remember your thread. So happy for you

Thank you all very much
I think much like alcoholism I had to reach a rock bottom and looking back over some of my later posts I was starting to experience a mental breakdown and one day found myself instead of being at work, walking around an ikea I'd never been too (I still don't know to this day whereabouts this branch I ended up in actually is!) sobbing on one of the children's beds in those mock up rooms!! Something had to give.

Congratulations!

Strength and sisterhood

I was thinking about you just yesterday, so glad to read such a great update!

All the best for your new, happy, independent life

I posted on your thread and am so glad. I remember you thought his family would take his side 100% - did they?

How is his contact working out with your DD? Is he still shouty?

Yes they did. I'm not in the least bit surprised. He is still the golden boy that can do no wrong and I'm the callous alcoholic.

My fear of him using my alcoholism and poor mental health to gain custody means that I've had to allow him whatever he wants at present which thankfully given the physical distance between us is not much. He's not really interested in getting full custody but is using it as a way to continue to control me. There were never any issues with his parenting so it's not as bad as it sounds.

I remember your thread. Congratulations Smeagol that's great to hear.

I remember your thread - so, so pleased to hear that you've managed to get away. You are a star!

Good luck in staying off the grog now. Have you seen the Dry thread ?

Thanks AF, it was never going to be a smooth ride but I'm feeling confident booze wise. A bit apprehensive of my first sober Christmas. Yes, I used to hang out on Dry a few months ago under another name till I flounced after falling off the wagon for the first time. I'm tempted to shuffle back in with my tail between my legs.

Hey. Those Dry ladies will welcome you back with open arms.

I know, they're an amazing and very forgiving bunch of women!

l have been thinking about you and was hoping that you were okay. So so pleased that you left. That you are both safe .

Please remember, that he is awful and of course he has painted himself as the wronged party.

I hope that you do realise that your MH and alcohol issues are really down to him and his abuse of you. You'll probably better with less anxiety and will find your dependency on alcohol is manageable because the triggers are no longer there.

I'm sending and want to also say well done and KOKO

I've been thinking about you and I'm so glad to see you are out! Don't sweat over stuff that's going on for you......slow and steady wins the race! I'm really happy that already your posts seem more lively, more assertive, and I'm sure just more 'you'. Well done xx

Oh, what a brilliant update. Thank you so much and congratulations.