I think this goes a lot deeper than a husband who has raped his wife for control. I think your husband?s subsequent actions, sleeping on the floor so you could feel safe, suggesting sleeping separately from now on, and his remorse points to him having some kind of sexual urge that he is trying to keep repressed. I don?t know much about this, but I have read about it, men who feel the urge to gain sexual control of women, and in some cases men who have sexual urges towards children, but who never act on them, and actively take themselves out of situations where they might be ?tempted? because they know what they?re doing is wrong.
What your dh has done is wrong, very wrong, and there is never any excuce for doing what he has done, but I think he knows that. And I think that he actually no longer wants to hurt you which is why he has now suggested sleeping separately.
How was your relationship other than these incidents?
You both need to get some help. You need to speak to someone to help you come to terms with what has happened to you, both as a child, and in your current relationship. Your local rape crisis would be a good place to start.
But your dh needs help too, because if you decide not to press charges against him but do decide to leave, I?m afraid that he will go on to do it again. If he does have some kind of urge that he has repressed, he can actually get help for that, but he will need to speak to someone, a counsellor, to help him to deal with that.
Only you can decide if you want to leave. But if you do, there are people, organizations where you can get help. You don?t have to go through this on your own.