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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Grooming my elderly neighbour?

51 replies

forumdonkey · 28/11/2016 20:49

I can't disclose too many details and please direct me to another board if appropriate. I am looking for advice and where I can turn for advice and help.

My frail neighbour is in her 90's, I have been her friend and neighbour for 25 years. She has no blood relatives, but has her god daughter, and they have a 'mother/daughter' relationship.

A short few years ago a man and his DW turned up out of the blue. He was the long lost DS of their late friend. At the time, this caused me a raised eyebrow because I'd never heard mention of this man in 20 odd years and suddenly they were staying in her house for a week or so at a time. This man had also disclosed he had been in prison, but the reasons were very odd and land related, which I'd have thought were more civil rather than criminal.

I have spoke with her GD today and we have shared our concerns about them, not in the least that they drove over 200 miles to turn up unannounced late on evening. Who'd do that? There are lots more very strange explanations and claims they have made, but I don't want to disclose further.

Help! Does anyone know if there is anything we can do to safeguard this lovely lady?

OP posts:
CatBallou2 · 29/11/2016 18:26

In Ireland this is known as "minding". Someone completely unexpected appears at the home of a vulnerable person and starts taking care of them, with one aim in mind, to become the sole beneficiary of the will. It works a treat so many times and it's so sad to think that someone can be manipulated and abused by unscrupulous people. If I knew this was happening to someone I cared for, I'd do all I can to stop it.

Financial abuse, harassment, coercion, intimidation, pressure in connection with wills, are all inclused in the list of elder abuse within the guidlines of the Irish Health Service Executive, (HSE), so I imagine that it's very similar in the UK.

You'd just love to catch them in the act and deal with them. What a cheek turning up in the middle of the night.

Call SS and ask them to visit her and help her deal with this situation.

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