Can I ask for your perspective regarding dp and works do.

[Thelastfeed12]

Dp started his own buisness a couple of years ago. It's supposed to 'ours' but it's his. I gave up work to look after the kids so he could focus on it.

It's growing well now and he has a several staff and due to start work there in the new year when kids are finally in school.

Things have been tough as im never out of the house or have a break while he is never in it - due to work. But TBH he tells lies sometimes so I can never be 100% certain he is where he says he is.

The staff Xmas do popped up a month or so back and he mentioned where it was. Its an event night, one ive always wanted to go and actually asked dp if he fancied it, not just your average meal out and drinks (which I've always been invited to) it's costing the best part of £900.

Apparently though partners are not invited. Which is a bit strange as I'm ever the only Partner that goes. So basically it's just 'me' that can't go. I was really gutted when told, told him I was. Apparently there is another works do that i can go on for employees boyfriends and girlfriends, That's a meal in a cheap restaurant. One of the reasons was the buisness couldn't afford it if every one took their partners. (Who of which have never come before)

Today dp took one of his family members to work as he doing some work experience for three days (possibiliy more) and they came here for dinner afterwards. It came up, by accident, that he was now going to the big Xmas do now too - as apparently he 'worked' there now.

And I've just lost my shit.

Dp is saying I'm pathetic and it's just a works do and now he won't go. Which is bullshit.

But I feel it's just another example of him taking the piss and not appreciating me. We had words over the weekend about him not helping with the kids when they are up all night and the tiredness was making me ill.

I gone right overboard and said I've had enough and I want him to move out. He said 'fine - I'll go and I don't come back and it will be all YOUR fault'

It's sounds petty that I'm so upset over this I know But it just feels like a slap in the face and a clear indication where I am in his life and the fact he knew I really wanted to go somewhere and said no to me yet was still inviting others

He has lots of time to himself, he has been abroad twice this year on his own.

What do you think ?

If the party is no partners then it is a bit off inviting the boss's wife. If he did, it may look to his employees that they are being paraded (oh look how important I am) and it will massively change the dynamic.
It's doesn't sound as though this is actually this issue... you don't sound like you like your husband very much generally.

So you have given up your career to look after your partners kids? While he build a business and a pension that you have no right to.

That's not a very good plan. You need to either get married or obtain all the rights that marriage gives you. Like have half of the company transferred to you and start saving the same as he does into your pension.

I'm assuming you jointly own the house you live in?

Please see a lawyer, you office night out is the least of your problems .

And if he won't do all of they above, don't work for him. You need the security of your own job.

Otherwise you and your kids will be in deep shit if you seperate. You have few rights and he doesn't exactly sound like the generous and reasonable type.

He sounds totally selfish and inconsiderate op and I would be livid if I were you.

Going against the grain here but I don't see why you'd expect to go to his work do?

My DH is an MD and I wouldn't dream of tagging along on his work nights, same as I'd find it very odd if he tried to gatecrash mine. You need to have your own interests and it's OK for your lives to be separate in some areas...

Sounds like there's a lot more to the issues - it's one night out. I guess you feel unappreciated and taken for granted and this has caused that to blow up. As for your DPs complete overreaction, there's probably something a lot deeper to that too.

Where is the OP - I get so frustrated when many posters come on to offer advice as requested and the OP just disappears. I think it's really bad manners. On the rare occasions I start threads I always respond to people individually if possible and keep a close eye on the thread to thank people for taking the time to reply

Where is the OP - I get really frustrated when so many people come on to offer their advice/perspective as requested and then the OP disappears. On the rare occasions I start a thread I try to respond to posters individually wherever possible and I keep a close eye on the thread to thank people for their time and interest. I think it's ill mannered to just disappear.

Sorry for duplicate post

She posted on the 22nd. Not that long ago so I don't think she's disappeared.

I totally get you. I don't trust my partner coz of other situations all involving female work colleagues. He's not the boss but always seems to go out of his way to look after the newbies and get to know them whilst hardly pays me any attention. He hardly texts me but his phone is full of work colleagues names, checking getting home safely, being supportive and friendly- nothing g too sleazy but I think it's inappropriate as he never checks whether I'm safely home ! Also he sends work emails late in the evening and I get mad as it gives others the impression he's lonely and I'm usually sitting next to him! I once took out for expensive meal and saw he'd written on an emai that he was sitting watching big brother and had egg in toast !!! I would have huge anxiety especially as you are part of business coz your supporting him by looking after kids so you deserve recognition. I think he's probably thinking he'll have a better time flirting and drinking rather than you watching what he's up to. My partner flirts to boost his ego, he's in his 50's and thinks he's Gold dust!