just getting back on track after 8 days nc

[pregnantat50]

Its taken a long time to get here. nearly 4 years of ea, but I finally managed to end things with my bf. I felt so much better each day and actually stopped missing him and getting on with my life, the realisation that all his actions I saw as love were controlling and nasty. going NC really worked for me.

now...5 mins ago he has emailed me saying he thinks he has cancer! I dont know what to do, he put me through hell but how can I not respond to that, I am not heartless but I am wary this may be another ploy which is sick but what if its genuine?

God, he sounds utterly dreadful, OP. Your children must have been worried about you when it seemed like you were under his spell. You were vulnerable and he exploited it that thoroughly.

Now it's time to move forward, and I would make sure you don't jump into another relationship too soon. Give yourself time to rebuild your self-esteem and develop a strong sense of self-worth. You deserve so, so much better than this. Stand tall, be strong.

LOL at his reason for missing you more than you'll miss him. He's pretty blatant isn't he? Don't waste any sympathy on him. Nice people get sick, so do nasty ones, it doesn't change the fact that he's a nob you don't need in your life (although it's probably a load of rubbish about the cancer anyway).

My daughter has told me to ignore his email, she is very protective as we both went through this with her father as well and supported each other through that. (although her father was physically abusive whereas my ex is emotionally abusive) To be honest out of the 2 I would take Physical violence over emotional, as with physical you know 100% its wrong but emotional abuse is often manipulative and you end up wondering, "did that just happen, is that normal, am I over reacting". It was my children's reactions to his comments and behaviour that made me wake up. My eldest son said to me on more than one occasion "do you want me to make him leave mum, I will ask him to go if you want". They all liked him in the start of our relationship when he was someone else, but once he felt he had won us over, the real person came out and what a monster he turned out to be