Fuck the fuck off. When does the anger subside?

[Hoppityfuckingvoosh]

H and I separated about 6 weeks ago. I say separated-he's moved out and we're currently in counselling to try and "fix" things. Long story short is that he no longer loves me but wants to. He's been detached for the last year and a half and I'm sick of carrying everything and searching for scraps of acknowledgement that he cares.

Counselling is just an infinity loop of shit. Ive explained myself til I'm blue in the face and in tears, but it does no good. I don't want much: I want to know that he gives a shit. I want basic intimacy. I want him to be engaged in our lives and show-through actions and words-that I'm important to him.

According to everything he says, I am important. I do matter. Why then has he not even checked that I'm ok following surgery on Monday? Not a single fucking text. Nothing. He's been in contact with DS and could have easily asked a simple "how are you?" But he clearly cannot be arsed.

I'm so angry and hurt. why am I spending all this money on counselling when he's lying? He has no intention of putting the effort in, does he? I'm wasting my time and setting myself up for constant disappointment.

When does this feeling of anger go? I hate how he makes me feel. I hate him for making our life together seem like a ridiculous waste of time. I know exactly what he's doing: he's going through the motions so he can tell himself he tried and not take responsibility for his part in the decline of the relationship.

Can someone talk me down please

OP, the anger will subside when justice happens.

Definitely the hardest hurdle to climb is the longing for the days when you loved each other. It's a wonderful feeling to love and be loved and is like a drug.

To let go of that dream of falling in love again and feeling that drug in your veins you need to make a clear commitment to go cold turkey.

Look objectively at how long this has gone on, at how it makes you feel, at how cold he really is and so on. Write it down, decide on a disengagement plan.

I think you are right and your H has ideas of another relationship. This means he has mentally moved out of your relationship.

Take a deep breath. Give him permission to fuck off! You know he won't ever be that man again, so, in essence, you are telling a relative stranger to stop messing you around!

Go to one more counselling session and tell him that you understand his inability to communicate with you, you understand his bewilderment at having to cope with your feelings, most of all you fully understand his need to not be the one who ended your marriage. So you will, right here, right now... we are done! Now, let's start discussing when you will move out!

Take back that control, be you, let him be whoever the hell he choose to be! But most of all, stop worrying, start doing . You can... you will...