Me and dh have been together 8 years. We have two children together.
All the time I've known him he's had anger issues. For the most part I know how to navigate him, but sometimes I just have to bite back. Tonight is a prime example of how ridiculous he can be. Watching one of his dvds and it starts to skip. He gets up, huffing and puffing, and tries to fix it. It's still skipping, so he throws the dvd case across the room. I turn my back and pretend to be asleep so he doesn't start. He eventually gets into bed, and punches the bed above my head. Because my back was turned I asked him what he did, and he tells me he punched it. We've had a bad day anyway so I tell him not punch our stuff, to which he goes fucking nuts. I chose to turn my back and pretend to go back to sleep while he's still yelling but secretly seething. I've decided to wait until he's asleep before going for a cigarette and I notice he's thrown my phone on the floor too. He gets so pissed off if he feels like his stuff is being disrespected (despite us not having watched this particular film for about 5 years and we've had a house move since then it's clearly me who's scratched the disk) he is incredibly disrespectful to my stuff. If I leave something on the kitchen side I come back to find its been moved or thrown away because it's 'messy' yet I wouldn't dare even tidy his stuff away. He's broken kids toys by throwing them across the room in anger, earlier this year he broke a knuckle by punching a wall because he needed a doctors appointment for something but I dared try to tell him it would be shut at 10pm on a Saturday and I wasn't trying hard enough.
On top of this he doesn't work, instead he's trying to work at what he loves to do, which is fine, but if I were to say 'don't punch our bed because I would have to be the one who pays for it (again)' it would be met with aggression.
His only saving grace really is that he's a good dad. Although when I really stop to think about he's an okay dad. He gets up in the morning with them, makes them breakfast, helps with bedtime but spends most of the day on his phone ignoring them. I can't remember him ever taking them somewhere fun without me begging him too.
Problem is, I just can't kick him out. I cant pass him on to his mum, as he's so hard to deal with, nor will be take responsibility for himself and get a job. Most likely he'll plead and beg until I take him back or take an overdose for sympathy.
I've never admitted this out loud about our relationship and it's making me feel so sad, and so angry, but so defeated.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
So tired of walking on eggshells
MadJeffBarn · 14/11/2016 00:47
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