What to do with a Man Eater

[Lolaandstan]

If a Woman is flirting with yr husband what would you do? Any experiences? what happened?

If she's posting photos on her own personal Facebook page then how is that flirting with your husband if he chooses to comment on them

Hard to xplain her replies have xxxx she is not a close friend of ours or anything. My girlfriends wouldn't do this and i wouldn't to them.

A sidestep: Maneater by Hall & Oates

"Watch out boy she'll chew you up"

In these sorts of situations op the 'man eater' isn't the problem.

It's the man setting the table, jumping on it himself and placing a strategically balanced napkin that is the problem.

Can you block her on his FB yourself?

Although I'd probably say to my hubby ... "here she goes again. .. just like she did with Jane's boyfriend. The silly slapper, she's nothing but the local bike" ....then just change topic.

You haven't really said exactly what she is doing though so it's impossible to really help you

So because she puts kisses after her FB messages she's trying to shag your husband?

That's ridiculous

"It's the man setting the table, jumping on it himself and placing a strategically balanced napkin that is the problem."

Or that weird dinner party service where sushi is served off a mostly naked bloke?

It's always poor men who need to be protected from terrible wanton women isn't it? She's not pursuing him, by the sounds of it she's posting on her own Facebook page and he's giving her attention which she's reacting to. It's his behaviour that's making you feel uncomfortable so speak to him about it

My DH is very good looking and naturally very charming (though not flirty).

He does occasionally have women flirt with him at functions. My reaction is usually to laugh.

It doesn't matter how hard they flirt, he's going home with me.

By the way, you shouldn't need to tell him to block her - he should have done it already.

SandyY2K - god, that's foul and misogynistic language! You really think calling someone the 'local bike' and a 'silly slapper' would give you the moral highground?

OP - you sound a bit possessive and slightly OTT. She gets to post on her one Facebook and warning her off for using xxx seems a bit mad.

SandyY2K - god, that's foul and misogynistic language! You really think calling someone the 'local bike' and a 'silly slapper' would give you the moral highground?

I disagree with you.

It's nothing to do with the moral high ground. It's about letting her DH know in case he doesn't already what kind of woman she is.

This woman has previously had an affair with her friend's boyfriend, so it's not inconceivable that she'd do it again.

You can often tell when other women are trying to worm their way in and you see the poor boundaries they have with attached men. So yes, I would call her those or any other suitable names that fit a woman who has an affair with their friend's man. Calling her an angel or a saint doesn't quite fit this situation I'm afraid.

Let's agree to disagree and not make this thread about you and I. I posted to help the OP and wasn't seeking your opinion or approval.

Yes i must be a crazy nutjob..i came here for support not a battering. Some people on here are just hurtful.

SandyY2K - but she’s not had an affair with anyone. She’s apparently posted on her own facebook, and replied to comments there in a tone that the OP finds flirtatious and has apparently also been flirty with this other guy. There’s no reference to any actual infidelity.

And I generally think it’s important to call out misogynistic language where I see it, because that kind of talk is pretty damaging to women everywhere. But I’ve said my piece and don’t need to keep on at it.

And OP, I do think you’re being harsh. Sorry you feel attacked. Suggest you chat to your husband and if you’re really uncomfortable you can both block her. Seems like that would solve the situation for all of you.

This woman has previously had an affair with her friend's boyfriend, so it's not inconceivable that she'd do it again.

Where did the op say that?

Op don't lower yourself to using base language about another woman. Just tell your DH that you think the comments and responses are pushing over your comfort levels for a friendship.

How he gauges his reaction should tell you a lot.

Sorry I misread a post and thought that I was being called mysoganistic and foul. I wish i could explain my feelings the girl concerned just makes me feel insecure. Maybe I am having a midlife! I spoke to my Dh and he is now upset with me and feels there are trust issues. I now feel like superbitch and wonder how to resolve this. He says he will now not post anything to anyone for fear of causing me offense. I dont want that and i know it will be detremental to our relationship as he will resent me.

Your problem isn't that she makes (saucy?) posts on her own page (which unless tagging him are not directed solely to him) , it's that he chooses to comment on them and create a flirty dialogue.

I think it's fair enough to say "DH, this makes me uncomfortable."

I think sometimes there are women who you sort of trust if you see what i mean (ie if your partner makes a dick of themselves you know they will tell him to eff off)
And those that get your hackles up for reasons you dont always understand, possibly because you think they'd have an affair behind your back.

That said nothing wrong with some verbal flirting everyso often but not so sure about writing it down. But then i dont use any social media at all.

But the way your husband has reacted is someone ridiculous. I rather think he is not quite such the innocent party and quite enjoyed being gently mauled...

OK I think I do totally get it but your anger at the woman isn't the right direction

Attractive single woman has Facebook
Posts photos and positive messages (or whatever they are)
Husbands comment and like them
She flirts in return to the comments
She doesn't seem to have approached your DH in any way
DH doesn't like the way you feel so is unpleasant to you about it

So yes, her flirting in return isn't very nice but she is not instigating the flirting herself. And your DH is unpleasant to you over it not mortified and sorry

This is a difficult one. One the one hand I'm of the opinion that it is about concentrating on yourself and addressing any self esteem issues. Why does his/her behaviour upset you? On the other I'd be ready to tear her hair out

Seriously though, in all honesty I wouldn't say you have anything to worry about. You have called him out on it so now it's up to him on what he does. You could have another conversation once the dust settles. Maybe just tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable, it's the way she is so flirty and then gives him concrete examples of what you mean.

Your husband's reaction was overboard, I agree with others that he enjoys the flirting a little too much and is now sulking because you've ruined it for him. He should have apologized for making you feel insecure and understood. He is at fault for posting the messages but if you feel she's untrustworthy that's fine, some people are and you're right to be wary and make him aware of your concerns.

I feel for you as I've been in the same room as someone blatantly flirting with my oh (actually sitting on his lap) and it made me, my oh and her boyfriend really uncomfortable. Couldn't really confront her as it would have made me look foolish and she was doing a good job of looking stupid on her own. I know she has a thing about him, but fortunately I also know she really irritates my oh so don't feel she's a threat.

Your partner's response is the important factor and he reacted badly, perhaps it's time for another chat. Did you ask him how he would react if you were doing the same with someone he feels threatened by?