People who've had small weddings! I'm interested in hearing from you...
Bit of background; I got engaged a few years ago to someone that turned out to be horrible. The whole thing left such a bitter taste that I pretty much gave up on the idea of marriage. However, I've been with current DP a little while and every now and again we talk about what it would be like to be husband and wife and how special it would be (he had a terrible divorce after 15 years of marriage, so he was at first hesitant too - he's 18 years older than me for reference). It just seems to come up quite a lot...
I would actually really like to marry DP - he's extremely kind, very funny and interesting and sexy. We have a really, really good time together and I think we'd make each other very happy. I feel completely calm and safe with him and we talk all the time about a future together - where we'd settle down, what our house will be like, trips we'd like to go on etc.
Much as I would love to be his wife I'm struggling with the idea of the wedding a bit....for a few reasons:
- I lost my mother recently and the idea of having a wedding without her makes me feel a bit sick - almost like it's impossible for it to be good without her. I thought maybe I could invite her best friend (who I like), especially as her best friend's husband is good friends with my Dad so he'd feel less lonely...
- No offense to anyone intended here! But I think some of the weddings I see on social media, well almost of them really, look like something I'd hate to do! It's cool if that's what works for them but it seems to me that weddings have moved so far away from what I thought they were that if we did it on a really small scale people would almost be disappointed..?
Just out of curiosity I went on a Bridal Magazine website and looked at their 12 month time scale to-do list for weddings and was slightly horrified.
It includes things like 'Get your teeth whitened', 'Attend third wedding dress fitting', 'Attend make-up trial session'....
This kind of thing genuinely brings me out in a sweat!! Do you think this is what people expect? I've only been to two weddings so I don't really know.
My ideal wedding for me is literally something like....20 people...just a nice dress (not white or anything), DP in a nice suit...quick ceremony then just a big lunch in a nice pub afterwards. No disco or anything. DP feels the same - he's very, very laid back and would sooner people just relaxed and had a chilled time than anything too ceremonious. The only thing we might clash on is the amount of people as he's got SO many friends and comes from a big family.
I definitely don't want a hen-do, (saw something online the other day about a 4 day hen weekend where everyone had two sets of matching outfits and a rigidly scheduled timetable every day - is this a thing? Who can afford this??) 
I supposed DF would do a speech (because I'll have trouble stopping him tbh - he loves giving speeches!!) but other than that, just everyone having a big dinner and a bit of a laugh.
Also definitely wouldn't spend the night before away from him!!
Can anyone tell me about their expectations/experiences of little weddings and what they would expect to be paid for at a wedding (I'm thinking food and drink but also maybe cars and hotels if it's only few people?)?
By the way I know DP hasn't actually asked me to marry him yet!! 
But he is completely transparent and I feel as though he might fairly soon, and I'm just trying to work out how I feel about it, rather than having 5 seconds to decide if he does actually pop the question!!
Thanks everyone.