Does anybody else have to keep secrets from their family because of negativity?

[EverySongbirdSays]

I'm hopefully starting an MA in the new year, if I can get the place I want and funding.

I have realised I cannot tell my family, and this makes me so sad, because the reason is they always spoil things with their horrendous response to things simultaneously both super pressured and mean spirited.

I got back into work after a long time off for health reasons. I had had a pretty hard time. My sister has always had a good job and a wide circle of friends but long term jealousy going back to childhood means she resents me anything even if she has far more, she engineered a conversation that would deliberately end in people who do my job being slated, but at the same time making it appear as though she was innocent of that motive and it wasn't her intention. This sorry is actually a minor example of how venomously she behaves towards me whilst trying to hide it and gaslight.

Going back, when I got my first job, my cousins DH first question was really rude and ill mannered, wanting to know what salary I was on I felt forced to answer even though I was young and on the spot.

When learning to drive, I was really struggling, and not sure if I could continue, it was all I ever got asked HOW'S YOUR DRIVING, HOW'S YOUR DRIVING? and I just felt so much pressure.

Again, while off work for ill health my Aunt constantly asked :

ARE YOU WORKING? ARE YOU WORKING?

And I felt so judged, and pressurized it is still pretty much all she asks about

The MA is over subscribed and at the end only a few people get what they want from it, the occupation is hard to get into but it's something I have always dreamed of. I may not even manage to complete it and I'm ralistic about that.

I'm not asking for advice really. I have decided to not tell any of my family about my MA, because of their form, for either nastiness or pressure.

But this makes me super sad to know I have to keep secrets from them, because they can't be pleaed for me and have to make me feel bad or harp on about things I've told them I'm doing til I feel intensely pressured.

Is anyone in the same boat, and can share stories with me?

Yes!
Have learnt that no matter what I achieve/do it'll never be without judgement.
Just be you x x x

Oh user how absolutely terrible. I just dont understand how mums can do such things to their own children.
Like you my mum has always said if i split from dh i am on my own. " You have made your bed and have to lie in it etc"
In fact when i announced we were getting engaged she said that she had to be honest and my husband was not what they wanted for me but if i was happy then they supposed they were happy for me !!! He worked in a factory whereas they are v middle class!

We have been married nearly 30 yrs now. However i must say the thought of her saying i told you so has been an added incentive to make it work so not all bad lol