Making my way home. Are you home yet?

[Inexperiencedchick]

Just that really.
How should I understand this question?

We are exchanging messages via OLD website. I haven't given my number yet and he hasn't asked to meet up.
This question is from today... Am I right to be cautious or should I accept it as normal. Am I overreacting?

[Inexperiencedchick]

I reply, always.

I'm not in a rush to jump. And don't want to force the pace...
He is a bit older than me and seems quite serious.
He reached out to me and we started exchanging messages.
But few days back something changed. He texted in the morning, then in the evening...Asked where in London I'm based. All via old. As I said no phone numbers have been exchanged yet.
At the same time I do check other profiles, not fixed on him only.
Probably due to past experience I felt a bit scared...

[CocoaX]

If you feel scared, leave it. Don't ignore your feelings.

[madgingermunchkin]

You really are reading too much into this. One message per day isn't going to help you get to know him.

You can't judge every man on your past experiences. It's not fair on the decent men that are out there, and it will mean that you don't give your self a fair chance at finding one of them.

[PoldarksBreeches]

What are you scared of?

[oleoleoleole]

He was asking so that he could possibly ring you or have a text conversation when you are home?

[Inexperiencedchick]

I'm trying... Took me 2 years to be at this place where I'm now...

[NarcsBegone]

Going at a pace that you're happy with is obviously a really good idea but at the same time as others have said you do need to get to know him/them a little better and the best way to do that is via the app and increasing the messages slowly perhaps.
OLD is a mine field and being cautious is sensible as long as you haven't shared any personal identifying information you can explore a bit more. You can always pull the plug if things turn out to be off.

[Inexperiencedchick]

Thank you all for the advice.

He hasn't asked for my number and I don't think I will offer it myself.
We started exchanging messages on 29th of October, so not even a week yet. I did attached picture in the message yesterday, and left it there.
Picture is plain, nothing sexually revealing. Basically I'm inexperienced.
One guy before him said I better post a pic with profile so not to waste time. Had a stalker from this website already and don't want any nonsense again.
Please don't judge me.

[Inexperiencedchick]

I like this place and all ladies with their advice and support.
I'm on my own in the UK, no back up in any difficult case.
So for me to trust someone from OLD is huge...

[NarcsBegone]

I don't think anyone is judging you... I'm not and sorry if I come across that way.
It would be nice to think that a picture on a profile wasn't needed really and that people could go on the content about the person you are not just how you look. It sounds like the man you're messaging did exactly that which is a big plus.
Considering you've had a bad experience already on there I think you're doing great to keep at it and can see why you're nervous because of that but it sounds like you're being quite safe on there and can try to find out a bit more about this man so you can get a better idea about who he is and if he's the right person for you to invest further time in :-)
I wish you luck with it! I have decided to stay very single now but went through my fair share of OLD and it was certainly full of all sorts but came out of it with a couple of really great friends (and some very unsavoury pictures)

[TheNaze73]

You do things at your own pace OP.

I think the message was lighthearted & nothing to worry about. If it needs to be a slow burner, then so be it.

[TheNaze73]

Good point Narcs & in an ideal world maybe. However, surely you need a physical attraction as well as spark?

[NarcsBegone]

Yes I agree there does need to be a physical attraction but a picture can be sent fairly early in once you have established that there is a more meaningful connection. That being said when I was OLD I would pay much more attention to the persons profile before making contact if they didn't have a picture as I would wonder why, and I would ask for a picture once It was appropriate.

[PoldarksBreeches]

I wouldn't ever chat to someone who didn't have a picture. I assume that they are married or trolls tbh

[muckypercy]

I would presume he was bored on his commute and looking for a chat to pass the time,

[HardToDeal]

Not having a picture is going to make things difficult tbh. I'd read nothing at all into that message if you've chatted a bit, I find you quite often get messages like "have you had your lunch yet?" - it's just a way of making contact maybe after a gap of a couple of hours, I doubt they're writing it down in a little book or something. I quite like someone giving even a tiny shit about what I've had for lunch or if I'm home, that's part of what a relationship is surely?

[IreallyKNOWiamright]

Agree with others either for wife or another date.

[stupid123]

I read message as totally innocent. He is maybe meaning are you safely home ok.
Sounds like a caring message. Many talk only about themselves 99% of time, so as he asked a question about you, I'd say that a positive thing.
Go with your own gut reaction though.

[ButterfliesRfree]

I wouldn't go there. Sounds odd.

[Inexperiencedchick]

I got freaked out when men ask me questions like that...

"Are you home yet?"
"Have you eaten?"
"What did you have for lunch/dinner?"

I feel like invasion of my privacy... That's why I was scared...

[ButterfliesRfree]

Yeah I think if you knew each other well then that is a more normal comment (like "are you on your way home yet, can you pick up milk from the shop?" Or "have you left yet? can you do me a favour, when you go past Sainsbury's grab us so dinner as I'm too tired to cook ...." Type question. but it doesn't sound that's the case. Sorry.

[HardToDeal]

I'm talking about having "done" online dating recently, this is a normal question from someone you've established a bit of a rapport with! Not creepy at all, not controlling, just a conversation maker.

[madgingermunchkin]

I've done the online dating, and I wouldn't talk to anyone who didn't have a photo. Or I would saying a few messages in "it would be nice to have an idea of who I'm talking too". It makes it less impersonal.

And what do you expect him to ask about? It sounds like you're not really giving him much to go on. He's searching for topics that he can use to initiate conversation.

Asking what you had for lunch/if you're home yet is hardly personal. It's not like he's asking for your address and bank details.

[CocoaX]

I wouldn't answer those type of questions, though - but then I am not doing OLD. My ex was a control freak and it would have bad associations for me. Surely 'are you okay? How was your day?' builds rapport and is open ended. Eating, sleeping, clothing and where I am would be my business. 'Have you eaten?' only makes sense in the context of meeting up later, will we need to eat? 'What have you eaten?' - er, why does it matter?

I am happily single though, which may be just as well!

[Inexperiencedchick]

AF and other posters were right...

Probably it was a mistake and wasn't addressed to me.
He hasn't replied to my other questions...

Strange situation.

That text scared me and I felt like I owe him something...
At least I know the answer...