What happens if a 17 year old is kicked out of home?

[AllieLove]

What happens?

You can see that poverty/wealth prejudice in action the most there. If they had the kinds of things they do in their house - pill packets popped and pills crushed on the kitchen table, piles of paper everywhere, mouldering food in the kitchen in boxes piled up etc in a council estate and they were on benefits SS would have been told and we would have been taken away.

Well not only clutter. Abusing your DC.

If I'd had the same experiences in a council house as I did in leafy 4 bed suburbia, I'd have been taken away, I'm sure.

But people see what they expect to see.

What they label as 'horrible dysfunction' when they see it one context, they'll label as 'private family problems' in another.

And it's not just class/money either.

Someone upthread came on and confidently asserted about the OP; 'there'll be more to this'.

Why? Why must there be more to it? Because someone doesn't want to believe it happens?!

A 17 year old is on the street because they have been asked to pay to stay in the family home or else leave. THAT is a problem. In itself. It doesn't need contextualising or explaining away. It needs action.

My dad also hoards reems of out of date medicines from when he was a GP 25 years ago. There was not a single room in their 3 story 6 bed house that was not filled with piles and piles of my dad's hoard. Every BMJ, the lancet, new internationalist my mum and him have every had, photographic equipment, other people's old furniture, dry tippex and stationary he had stolen from work (so much the tippex alone filled an entire draw in his office), old typewriters, old computers, old TVs... anytime anyone had junk he would bring it home and gradually fill up the house. When he ran out of room he would throw away our toys etc - he still does this to my mum.

He sounds really unwell.

And incredibly selfish.

Yes, not only clutter!

But I think people do look at it differently depending on wealth/status. I was 'making a big deal' about my 'nice' family who are a bit eccentric.

If I lived 20 miles up the road it would have been bad parenting at much much lower threshold.

My mum thinks he is quirky and 'doesn't mind', she reminds me of when he dug me a sandpit (when I was 2).

They are mental. Both of them. And dangerous.

I think there is always more to it to be fair. The important thing to remember is that no matter how awful a 17 year old is behaving or how terribly the parents have behaved the 'more to it' can have a real impact on how a 17 year old survives and what they need. A 16/17 year old is still 16/17. Sometimes they need desperately to be away from their family of origin either for their safety or for the safety of their families due to how they are behaving but they all need to be known about I think.

Yes ISWYM.

I was taking 'there must be more to it' as a desire to minimise.

But yes, whatever the 'more to it' young people just need stability enough to launch.

Sometimes, sometimes it is their families of origin who need stability. Sometimes they need consequences, sometimes they need love. Sometimes nothing works, sometimes it is very easy to set them on the right track. But like with any vulnerable person, they need to be known by society and the state needs to step in when the family has broken down, just like with elderly people, disabled people, ill people and anyone else who is vulnerable (and I know that doesn't happen there either often).

Oh and for you brat. There are limits and it sounds like yours was passed a long time before you kicked him out.

Well done helping yesterday Allie, and yes- she needs an advect. Really hope she gets some help or mother changes her mind.

Fake - How at 16 did you get a tenancy agreement and checks done and pay deposit?

Sounds like you're imagining me going into a letting agency with a bunch of references and a fat deposit. Instead picture a box room in somebody's council flat that I rented from the tenant, or a mattress on the floor in a squat, no letting agents, tenancy agreements, deposits or reference required. Sometimes I didn't even have to lie about my age.

I have a 17 year old she is disrespectful she says I'm going out what time do you want me home 12 midnight on weekends then I get a text to say I can't get a lift back so she then says I will see you tomorrow stays out 2 to 5 days with out any contact then a text battle happens as I'm not sleeping from stress the tension is splitting our family apart and I'm done as a parent I want her out so we can live our lives.

@macauley007 your message seems conflicted. You say you want her out, but then you're worried about where she is.

Is the issue here that you want to be in control and she's trying to assert her independence?

My parents were very controlling and wanted to tell me what I could do, when I could do it and if I didn't comply just kicked me out, at 16. For them it was about control, not love. When I moved in with a friend it was the best thing for me.

Be aware though it could damage your relationship forever. I no longer speak to them and it'd the best decision I ever made.

Think hard what you want from this, do you want a relationship with your daughter? If so then you need to have a serious think how to communicate with her. Yes she is 17, and has strong valid opinions on what she wants from her life, but YOU are the adult here.

im 17 and my mom said that she was going to kick me out of the house is that illegal like is she allowed to put me back in the foster system or im confused.

I know that there are housing charities but it is an awkward age, I had a friend in a similar suitation and was told over 16 SS will not give you support. Luckily she was taken in by another family but not everyone is so fortunate. Look up young persons housing charities and see whats possible or. colleges with accommodation.

At 17 the teen is the responsibility of Social Services. Please contact your local council and ask to speak to a duty social worker.