Can I interfere in my sons relationship?

[statetrooperstacey]

My son is behaving dreadfully, his girlfriend has spoken to his dad and it appears his behaviour is pretty appalling at times and getting worse. My instinct is to go round to his house tomorrow and tear a strip off him. With his dad. His dad is concerned son will think we are ganging up on him, I think good, we are he deserves it . He is also concerned sons girlfriend will be unhappy as she asked him not to say anything.

Thing is, this situation has occurred before, she has said things previously and asked us not to say anything to him. However this cannot continue anymore.
Will we make things worse? I am more concerned about her feelings than his, However I think she needs someone to intervene, and I think if she keeps telling his dad what's going on she is surely hoping we will help her in some way, or at least try!
I am on my phone so slow.

What mustn't happen is for you and his dad to go round, tear him off a strip, think you've helped, then for you two to leave her and those kids to deal with potential fallout. You could inflame rather than diffuse things.

Quite.

I've been on the receiving end of this. I may ultimately ask for this post to be deleted as this isnt chat or 30 days only and i dont want it hanging around.

Someone in my family has marital problems. Their spouse has come to me and given me a belly full. I am appalled by what they have told me and have been supportive. But then I know things about them that my family member has told me and they are hardly a picnic to live with either.

I am now bloody worried about having been put in this position by them. It just takes one argument for all this to come out and for what has happened to be skewed. What will happen is my family member will fucking kill me for talking at all even though they came to me in desperation one night when she had fucked off out the house and he could find out where she'd gone....it started from there as he thought she had come to me.

This has the potential to get even nastier by involving the paretns and the next time he is pissed or high, giving the OP hell for involving his family.

It has to be said the parents upbringing of this man didnt instill in him not to use drugs or drink and be responsible, why ask them to intervene now.

Really I don't think I can stress enough that keeping it in the family is bad advice for your GC.

By all means point her in the direction of support services but I really think you need to be prepared to report this to SS if she fails to act. She has not been able to handle this on her own thus far. SS are not the child stealing monsters they are often feared to be, they are a support service.

Before something terrible happens.