DH and I have been married 7 years, together for 12. 2 DCs age 5 and 3. We don't talk to each other unless it's about essential practical stuff e.g. we're having work done on the house so he will say the plumber is coming tomorrow etc. He is good with the kids and works hard, earns well. I work as a part time professional. I think the split of Labour is fairly equal e.g. I do most of the cooking, cleaning and washing but he works more hours, we share bedtimes, he will take them to the park so I can cook a roast etc. We have a cleaner every 2 weeks for a couple of hours to help.
In the evenings we share bedtimes e.g. one child each or take turns so one night he can play squash, the next I can go swimming etc. Often we are both in the house in the evening but he never eats with me. If I start watching tv and he comes in he won't make eye contact and say 'how was your day'. He just sits down on the other sofa. We sleep in separate rooms. I sleep badly and he has a throat clearing habit so I initiated this. We haven't had sex for 2 months. I recently quit drinking and can't think how I would have sex sober. We don't even say good night to each other. Previously I've broken down about the lack of relationship and he has promised to try to talk more to me but it always slides back to this. If I start a conversation I get one word answers. If I hug him he flinches. I stop trying becaysecthe rejection hurts. It's harder now I'm sober, he still drinks and this makes us seem more separate. On paper we have a beautiful house, good jobs, happy children doing well at nursery and school. But I'm so lonely. I don't know what I want. Can anyone shed any light on this? am willing to accept responsibility as I know it's partly my fault.