Am I being used or does he care

[Blushingm]

Been friends with guy for 3 years, been sleeping together all that time and yet in his words I'm not 'Mrs material'
I've met some of his family, I've met his son, I've spoken to his mum on the phone and by text - she always says she wishes she knew me better. His family all know who I am and that we aren't a couple

I know he chats on plenty of fish. He said he really liked one girl and was really down when she wouldn't meet up with him.

We've both always said we are going to be friends for life but that we won't ever be together . I don't think I'd ever be able to cope with living with him but the thought of him with someone else crushes me.

Is he using me for sex and company til someone better comes along?

You're not Mrs. material... Did he really need to spell it out in more graphic detail what you are? And yet you stayed

And he's doing more than chatting on POF, I hope you are taking precautions.

Join POF yourself. You might meet someone who truly loves you, you might have fun, you might boost your self esteem.

The 'not Mrs material' is beyond rude. Op if a friend reported this of a man she was hoping for a relationship with I'm sure you would tell her to run for the hills. Treat yourself better. Tell this no mark to do one and get onnwith finding someone worthy of your company x

You all seem to pretty much agree! Thank you for all your responses

I must look like a desperate sap!

Not at all Blushing you look like someone who has low self esteem and there's no shame in that, most of us are/have been there.

Best of luck with the future.

How do you think you could you stay friends with him if he eventually does find a proper partner? You'd be questioning all the time "what does she have that I don't" and I would bet you'd not move on from him because you'd waiting for them to break up so you can try and mould yourself to what you think he wants. And how could this "friendship" possibly be fair or respectful to his new partner?

Be kind to yourself and find someone who will treat you properly - there really is someone out there for everyone but you'll never find him all the time you're emotionally invested in your fuck buddy.

You are not old, fat or boring.
Old - people of all ages are in relationships
Fat - we all feel fat at times. As a teen, I thought size 14 was fat. I wish I was that size now.
Boring - I'm sure you are not, and training as a nurse is great.

You will never meet someone when this man has a hold over you. You think no one will love you. Of course they will. A lot of men find nurses sexy...!

You only split with your husband 3 months ago, yet you've been sleeping with this guy for 3 years? Maybe that's why he doesn't think you are 'Mrs material'.

He is a fuckwit.
Dump him via text message. Please.

stitch spot on.

stitch what have I missed??

Have you been seeing him while living with your husband?

Old is relative and there are countless mature singles out there. "Fat" is just your low self esteem keeping you down. Some people find size zero sexy whilst others find it a turn off and prefer a much fuller figure. This man is offering you nothing and is holding you back from any chance of finding happiness. Cut him loose and get yourself back out there. There is a mr/Mrs right for everyone but you won't find yours whilst you're tied into this dead end relationship.

Been friends 3 years not fuck buddies 3 years!!!!!

I meant the whole time IVE BEEN SINGLE we've been sleeping together

So you have actually only been sleeping with this person for 3 months?

Puts a very different spin on things.

I just looked back at the op and this is your opening sentence.

Been friends with guy for 3 years, been sleeping together all that time

So which is it...

In his words I'm not 'Mrs material

I know he chats on plenty of fish. He said he really liked one girl and was really down when she wouldn't meet up with him

I suppose the kindest way to describe it is you are his bedwarmer, thats all. If you can cope with that until he meets someone else he really likes, all well and good. If you can't then its would be as well not to put your eggs in one basket.

Don't even think after 3 years of making it very plain to you that he doesn't want you as a lifepartner, that he will suddenly change his mind. He won't.

At least he didnt lie to you, he's made his casual disrespect of you very apparent via word and deed so you had the choice whether to continue or not. If you value your self-esteem you will reverse your choice. He's not the only man in the world and Im pretty sure you won't die for lack of him.

Take time out and work on yourself, counselling would help your self-esteem but alongside that do stuff you like doing be that gym, dance, holidays, whatever you're into. Meet new people even if via Meetup or some such. There's more to life than having a man at all costs. If you want a decent relationship you have to put yourself in the right place i nyour head to achieve that, and you won't get it by sleeping with a man who wants a relationship - but not with you