Did I make a mistake need help with my confusion

[confused84]

I've posted on here in the past.
I am in a relationship ship that I have been in for over three years now.
It has always been rocky and he hasn't always treated me brilliantly.
In march this year I called an end to it was tired of his games his bull and general selfish ways.
After the break up I met someone else unexpectedly completely out of the blue I went on a few dates as I was single and it was harmless. This man treated me like gold he took me out bought me nice things and told me everyday how amazing he thought I was.
I've never had anyone treat me like this and i didn't know what to do with it at the time I acted casually and never discussed the future or feelings.
I felt like I had always known him he was like a best friend to me and someone I felt like I missed my whole life in a crazy way I could tell him anything and be myself and he never judged me.
My ex did not want to let me go and promised to change and did not leave me alone during this time. He promised me the sun and the moon and I ended my new relationship and took me ex back.
He did change and to some degree he is a better partner than he has ever been but the selfishness is still there and he's gone back to never taking me out or buying me anything we live together and he gives me some money but not that much considering what he earns he doesn't split things and I've got children from a previous relationship.
I feel he only changed out of fear of losing me but over the time he's gone back to a lot of his old ways.
We are close and have a good relationship but it's because i put up with a lot more than I should from him for a quiet life. I do love him and it's been a while we have been together now so I'm scared of change.
The other man was gutted when I ended it and I saw him a few wks ago in the supermarket and he spoke to me he was nice and caring asked what I was doing now and then asked me did I think I had made a mistake I said no and he left it at that.
The thing is I miss him so much he was only in my life briefly but during that time he really cared about me and showed me so much love that I have never experienced before with anyone. I know of course he didn't know me long enough to love me but he said I'm mad about you never felt like this before and as far as I know he hasn't been in a relationship since as we have mutual friends.
I dream about him all the time wondering if i made a huge mistake I could tell him anything and three hours with him would pass in five minutes. I am not unrealistic I'm not a teenager and I don't want to walk out on my current relationship for a mad idea that I've got in my mind that I've walked away from the one.
I love my partner but he's very self centred and I always feel I'm last on the list I know he must love me as he went to pieces when we split up but he's so materialistic and money mad and I hate it as I'm not like that at all.
We have arguments about it as he will quibble with me over a few quid that I owe him etc
I keep thinking did I make a huge mistake walking away from the other man.
Everyday I think About it has anyone else been there help

Yeah your right and I really miss him as a person too. He made life so much better for me for that short time I just feel like shit right now. I'm not saying he's the love of my life and we're going to get married he just made me feel worthwhile.
My partner promised me the earth when we got back together and I fell for it but it wasn't long before the cracks appeared and he couldn't keep up the facade any longer he's not as bad as he used to be because he probably knows he can't be but it's still there a leopard doesn't change it's spots.
Yesterday was kind of a turning point because I owed him £30 he had lent me for my car insurance this month he put £32 in my bank as I was overdrawn and asked him for the first time in about a year to lend me money he did it and then when I paid him back he asked for the £2 and I just laughed and he was like your always trying to have me over this is why I don't lend you money so he wanted the £2 aswell and I just got really angry that he even was seriously asking me for two quid.

Also I haven't got a tumblr drier and my sons bunk bed is broken and I told him we need those things and he went out and bought a new state of the art television when I need other things. It was his money he used which is fair enough but I can't afford to buy what I need right now and he buys silly things that we don't need. I'm looking forward to getting the compensation so I can buy some beds and a drier and at least I've paid for them so nothing can be said.
I know I should do something but I'm scared and I had so many hopes that it would work and it's all gone now :-(

Irrespective of any other man, you would be better off in every way to finish things with your 'partner'. Presumably you can't claim tax credits etc with his wage. He really isn't good for you.

Having read your updates, your partner sounds like a stingy prick. I would recommend you get rid of him. Whatever you decide about the second man, your partner is a waste of space.

It's only a grand. That may feel like an insurmountable amount of money, but what price peace and happiness? Can you afford the house on your own? It sounds like you probably can. If you can, then get this leech out of your home. Make an agreement on the repayment of the car money and call it a day.

What grates on me with the car is I said I didn't want it I had enough to get a shitty car and he pressured me he drove to the garage and paid in his credit card when I told him not too this was when we first got back together.
In the end I took it because he made me and then I said well you won't throw this in my face will you and he said I promise I won't i would say at least once a week he brings it up.
I assumed he got me as a present he never said otherwise then a week later said he would set up a payment arrangement with me I never said anything and just agreed with it. So it's been 8 months of me paying for this car now like I've got a car on finance which I couldn't afford to do.

He's got thousands in the bank and he goes on about this thousand pounds all the time hangs over me everyday.

Yes, you made a huge mistake. LTB!

You'd be much better off single.

TBH it's sounds like you need to focus on yourself and learn to be ok on your own rather than using men to prop you up.

I often say this on similar threads but you need to judge your partner not on what he says but on what he does. Your posts are all about how he won you back by begging and telling you he loves you but talk is cheap and he literally won't put his money where his mouth is even though he sees you and your DC struggling.

I'm sorry to say he "went to pieces" when you split not because he loves you but because his free ride came to an end. I would bet my bottom dollar that once he's saved up enough for his mortgage you won't see him for dust (apart from the odd booty call maybe). Get rid regardless of what happens with the other guy.

I would get rid of your current partner. He sounds awful - emotionally and financially controlling and abusive. It might be worth your while spending some time alone. You can't have liked your ex that much or you wouldn't have left him.

have you ever had a time when you were without a man as an adult ?