AIBU - DP leaving DD home alone to go and buy a ready meal

[Loupdaloup]

On my way back from a day trip whilst DP looks after our 2 year old DD. Spoke to DP and he was about to head to the supermarket to buy his ready meal. The supermarket is the the opposite side of the road, but at least a 2-3 min walk from the house, let alone the time spent in there. I'm very grateful for him taking a day off to look after our DD, but also concerned. Am I being ridiculously over fussy?

Why are you grateful to him because his is looking after his child?

No, not ever. Way too much risk.

Once, in a professional capacity, I had a case where mum had serious MH problems and went out briefly at night leaving her 10 year old asleep in bed. The 10 year old happened to wake up during that brief time her mum was out and was terrified to find herself in the flat alone. Sensibly the child phoned 999 and the operator kept her talking on the phone until the police got to the property. I was given a recording of that phone call by the police and it still haunts me.

The child didn't come to any physical harm but it was clearly a very traumatic experience for her.

Just because some people didn't do there jobs properly doesn't mean that other Social Workers wouldn't care. I know because I have known cases where children have been left at home alone and SS were informed and the children were put on the CP register.
If it was my partner I would have plenty to say. Apart from the things that could happen wouldn't she be frightened to wake up alone as some other children must have been all because their parents were too selfish.

OP didn't say she was grateful to her DP for looking after their child. She said she was grateful to him for taking a day off work to look after their child while she went on a day trip.

Was all ready to get annoyed until OP said the kid was asleep.

Presumably in a cot they can't get out of?

Wouldn't bother me tbh

Yanbu! He is being irresponsible and totally selfish to ruin your day out by stressing you...now you might feel uneasy about leaving him to look after dd again..his plan? My stbxh left a 5/8/10 alone while he drove 7 miles to pick up caravan. He's an arse as well.

Children in cots can be sick, wake up and be distressed... And no-one there to help? No way, I'm not overly fussy mum but that's too risky.

One of mine was launching himself head first out of his cot, at 2, even in a grobag - got put into a bed pretty sharpish.

Is love to know the supermarket you can nip down the road to, get to the frozen/refrigerated food section, get to a checkout and pay, and then get home again, all in two minutes.
OP, do you actually live in a trolley park?

I wouldn't have done that when mine were that age and if you're not happy then he shouldn't do it either.

Realistically speaking there isn't a huge amount of risk involved but there is no need to take any risk when he can simply take the child with him.

Forward plan, make do, or go hungry. All far more preferable to leaving a 2-year-old alone in a house while you go to the supermarket.

YANBU

He is making absolutely sure you never ask him to take a day off to look after his child again. Arsehole.

2 years old?? No way - she's still a baby. He cannot do that. I have only done things like this from the age of 7. I would leave my 7 year old for maybe 10 minutes and my 13 year old for longer obviously. But 2 is way way too young.

Why on earth are you very grateful that he's looking after his own child?

Got to agree - he's not doing you a favour, looking after his own child. It's his job. And by leaving her alone he's making sure you never ask him for this 'favour' again.

He took a day off work to mind them. That's in "favour" territory. (Can't believe I'm defending him, he sounds very irresponsible)

Under no circumstances is this ok. If she's asleep put her in a pram and take her with him or wait. I would seriously rethink leaving her with him until her understand s and accepts this cannot happen again. If he can't then he can't be trusted with her, and if he can't be trusted then your relationship is on thin ice...

Sounds like the OP is doing him a favour by looking after the DD every day when he goes to work, in that case. Taking a day off work to cover childcare is not classed as a favour by many people I know (including men) - we are all contractors so if we don't work, we don't get paid. We all still do it, though.

Not even worth thinking through all the things that could go wrong, it's completely bonkers. I could not parent with someone who I couldn't trust with our child.

He's not don't OP a favour , she doesn't need to be grateful. It's his child too !
Does OP's DP feel gratitude every time she looks after their DD ?

I hear dad's talk about 'babysitting' when they are at home with their own children. What bit do they not get? Maybe mums should invoice monthly. 😃

Brilliant idea Hurleygirl

If I minded the dcs alone on a day I normally worked while my dh went on a day trip somewhere I would bloody well think I was doing him a favour.

I wonder what happened when the OP got home? Hopefully he was still hungry!

Omg thats awful

God no. I'd nip out to the corner shop and leave dd for ten mins alone but she's nine. Two?!