So Angry right now.

[Emprexia]

DS annoyed me earlier, screaming in my ear while having a tantrum, so as not to lose my temper with him i put him down somewhere safe and left him to it for a bit.

DH comes in and picks him up to give me a break, calms him down and then tries to get him to go to sleep, DS starts crying as soon as he sits down and then quickly goes back to screaming.

I tell Dh to give him back to me as i've chilled out a little bit, and DS is actually now upset and not just having a tantrum, and ignores me.

Then HE gets annoyed, stands up and literally dumps our son in his bouncer then storms away, pausing to THROW a toy at him!!

WTF?!? He just Threw a toy with hard plastic bits at my sons head/face and then walked into the bathroom without checking if he was ok.. and its been 30 mins and he hasn't even apologised for it.

I'm just so ANGRY with him and at a loss of quite what to do.

He should feel bad but you still need to discuss how neither of you should take your frustations out in such a way and that you need to allow him some space to learn to be a better parent rather than you just step in. Otherwise you will all too soon realise how you have made a rod for your own back. Parenting classes may be one way of doing this. Do you go to any mums groups so you can share your experiences and perhaps get some alternative ideas to try so your LO gets less worked up ?

btw "its the first time Dh has done it where i've seen it. " Does that mean you think it might not be the first time he has reacted like this ?

this worries me as i have been in 2 abusive relationships and neither man had any patience with babies.my xh nearly threw ds2 into his moses basket when he was 2 months old cos he was screaming due to colic(i had been up all night with him and xh had taken over for 5 mins).

its horrible, because when i need a break from my dd (i am home with her all day long...) and hand her off to my dh, i feel like he should be all fresh and have a tremendous amount to patience b/c he has been out all day. with grown ups. for 9-10 hours. but a lot of times that is not the case.

my dh has never hurt or thrown or even come close to anything like that...but he can sometimes get on the verge of yelling at her, esp when she was very new to us. and i would go and yank her out of his arms too, kaisay. but than i learned to step back and now he is much more confident. but as i am writing, i am realizing that he never reaccted so badly as to throw a toy. maybe, your dh really isnt too much a baby guy.

many men prefer toddlers to babys. you said he is good with your sd, right? you may just have to look into someone else maybe being your "relief" from your ds other than your dh for now. i mean its fustrating that he cant handle him right now, but i would rather be a little fustrated than sorry i pushed it on him.

ladies, dont yell at me...but maybe kaishay, your dh isnt such a bad guy, maybe just got caught up in the moment and had a lapse in judgement, and it will never happen again. ever.

NENE let's hope, for the sake of that poor baby, that you are right.

i really hope he will consider some sort of parenting course.honestly,i used to get frustrated more often when my older 2 were babies,not to the extent where i would shout at them but where i'd be crying and begging them to stop crying.but that was cos i didnt know the first thing about babies and didnt understand what they wanted.i went to parenting classes etc when they were toddlers and learnt so much,then when i had ds2 i took him to every course sure start was running in my area,so i learnt alot about my baby and his needs,i learnt infant massage which gave me something positive to do when he had colic,and i got to talk to other mums with babies the same age so we could swap notes etc.
it is so much easier to stay calm and in control when you 'know' what you're doing IMO.
i hope you have the strength to tell him he needs some sort of help.

I agree with neneandlexi- and also divastrop. One of my sons has challenging behaviours and having a (taught) method to appply does help keep my temper under control.