So, we have this ongoing thing about my mother. Bit of background. She is in her late 60's and set in her ways, a bit naive at times and a bit opinionated. She is rather left wing, pacifist and generally a kind soul. She and my OH are polar opposites (but equally opinionated). She has a habit of telling the same stories over again and talking about my dad, her ex, a bit, divorced 15 yrs (no relationship since, not surprisingly as he was a piece of work) and OH finds this unacceptable.
Anyway. He had recently had a moan about her and I disagreed with what he said. Things have been a bit awkward since. He is under a fair bit of stress for other reasons too, so generally a bit of a grump.
I went into the kitchen just now and he offered me a hug and while hugging me said 'I'll give you a hug if you want as you're feeling a bit weird for sticking up for your mum against me'. I was a bit taken aback and pulled away. It really rubbed me up the wrong way, so I said I wasn't . To which he very quickly replied 'oh, I would be'.
I am so tired I just left and went upstairs.
Isn't that a bit of a weird thing to do and say though? Would you class it as goading or passive aggressive? I just don't want a row but feel a bit like he's spoiling for one. He always says I stick up for my family over him. He thinks my sister is rude and controlling and says he doesn't dislike my mum but is often moaning about her. They might have a few faults but I accept them, as they are my family and don't see any faults as a big deal. None of us are perfect.
He's had a very different upbringing from me and has never felt much of a connection to his family and I know this probably colours his view a little.
Is his behaviour in this instance peculiar or am I being over sensitive? Surely you don't hug someone (comforting gesture) and then say something so designed to annoy.
Like I said, I'm v tired (7mth old baby) so can't quite work this out.
Any replies appreciated.
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How to describe how OH just behaved?
ImSoVeryTired · 05/10/2016 19:25
I can't do the college course as we would have to pay for childcare and I can't afford it. Or I'd have to do evenings when i'd be too tired to concentrate.
I will be going back to work weekends and OH will have baby. It just doesn't make financial sense for me to work more than that and put him in childcare. OH works hard but is not on a v well paid job. He works a normal 8 hours most days. He gives just about everything he earns to me for bills and shopping. He is very open about what he earns. We have no disposable income.
I own my house, he has renovated it, top to bottom. If anything, he is in the precarious position, from that point of view.
He has no pension.
I sometimes go out with baby to meet friends, hasn't really occurred to me to go out without him. Partly cos it would feel odd to not be with him and partly cos I don't see them often so they want to see baby. I don't get together with them often. My closest friend moved away 2 yrs ago and she was the only one I saw regularly. None of this is down to him. He likes my friends and has offered to take baby so I can go out. It's tricky to get organised to meet up when friends are working, plus I'm introverted and procrastinate so, I tend to just not bother that much.
He takes baby most mornings he's not working so I can sleep, which I want far more than dragging my sorry bum out anywhere! 
Sleep is heaven.
Hope I haven't missed any questions and not responded. 
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