Is it soo wrong to give a cheat another chance

[Humblebee1]

Why is it that when the cheated partner feels they need to give their relationships a chance rather than the alternative: to permanently break up a family forever, the general impression seems to be that the forgiveness route will be nothing but bad for you and your kids. Not saying turn the other cheek or anything, but surley its the cheat who should feel shame and weakness. Is it not a demonstration of strength to forgive and overcome, so long as the cheat reforms their ways and takes responsibility.
So much is said about setting children an example, but running away from something immediately is surely not always the answer or the best example. Discuss please.

Fixing thing doesn't work for everyone but it has (for now) worked for us. Both of you need to be 100% up to fixing your relationship, once he knew how much he broke me he just wanted to fix it all and so did I. And it's completely normal to just be angry some times.

My exH had two affairs that I know of - one before the children were born (and we stayed together and obviously committed to having the children together), and another started when my youngest of four was less than a year old.

The 'what's best for the family' view simply never entered my mind when I told him to leave. I simply could not countenance being under the same roof as him. The marriage was over, but the family didn't cease to exist: it just had to exist in a new framework.

I am reluctant to see it in terms of teaching children that I showed good example, because I don't want to demonise the dad they love and worship and look up to as a hero. So I don't use the breakup as any form of life lesson; it simply is how we live our lives now.

I had the eight years (from finding out about the first affair, through having four much-wanted and jointly-loved kids, to discovering the second) to reach my point of saying no. The children had no warning. The exH found my decisiveness so surprising and sudden that he went into a state of dysfunctional shock. So what. We all had to adjust.

I am very cautionary of being completely candid with small children about why he had to go ('sometimes things don't work out; we will be better as mum and dad if we give you two loving homes). Despite the dizzying vitriol I have had inside for two years, I don't want to disrupt the lifelong and loving relationship I hope they will have with their dad. He's THEIR dad. They want to believe he is truthful and kind and loyal. I truly feel it would be wrong for me to place them in the middle of mine and his private heartache of marriage breakdown. It has meant I suffered and suppressed (in front of them), but I made MY choice despite the children.