How to teach DH to 'SEE' what needs doing around the house?

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DH never seems to see what needs doing. He will do what I ask reasonably promptly and without moaning but NEVER takes any initiative on the housework front. Eg He is capable of stepping over a basket of folded clothes waiting to go upstairs to be tidied away. When I am tired this really annoys me. I am concerned it could become an issue when I go back to work (next month) as I will no doubt be more tired and will no longer be able to get stuff done around the house when the DCs are playing nicely together so it will all have to be done after they are in bed.

Has anyone had any success in training partners to be a bit more aware?

no i don't think it is possible

Do you have the same problem noddyholder?

I think it depends how far you are willing to go...

Would you be able to leave the washing there, until he "sees" it, even if that means he has no clean clothes for work??
Same goes for filling/emptying the dishwasher etc

I tried this but when it came down to it I just couldn't leave things to get that bad!

Good Luck

Buy some little flags and stick them in/on anything that needs doing
he will soon learn

any one married to man knows this is not possible.

Y O U H A V E T O S P E L L I T O U T

No, I don't think I could hold out long enough. Any other ideas?

I'd like to know the answer to this question too.. because my DH seems to have blinkers on and misses things that are staringly obvious! He's away this week and the house is spotless, everything is put away and sorted - yet if he were here and i left something on the table to go upstairs it would sit there for literally weeks (or until i did it myself!)

But saying that, i wish he was home as its terribly lonely!

Flags, that's a good idea. Will try that. Spelling it out works. If I send him an email saying this is what I expect to be done tonight when you get home, he prints it out but I still have to make the effort.

I'd be interested to hear from anyone whose DH or DP doesn't have housework blinkers on because when I tackle DH on this subject he says it is because he is a man and that he can't do anything about it. But my brothers aren't like that and they are both husbands and fathers.

Men never 'see' what needs doing. Tell him to do things that is the only way you can do it.
Good luck.

How depressing!

Not sure its possible tbh...

You could try painting everything needing doing red

you could make some flags

with a big exclamation mark on them
or print off pictures like this to clean the loo ! this for taking the washing up and this for "empty me" eg dishwasher

ha ha ha ha ha (laughs hysterically at thought of dh taking any initiative around the house)

My DH also says, 'but if you just tell me what to do I'll do it' - he does do it but not without me having to ask repeatedly and lots of moaning- consequence- I feel like a nag.

His other no.1 excuse when it comes to using initiative when it comes to the children is 'but you change their routine all the time' (which I don't).

Also when he does do something he expects loads of gratitude and to be let off doing anything else.

Painting the clean laundry might be a bit counterproductive!

i find "oi fuckhead are you blind" works.

give him a couple of rooms. divide the labour. sit down have an adult conversation and divide it - stick it up on the wall.

and if he doesn't agree tell him to marry some other maid

or at least someone who gives a shit

I have said before on threads like this one...

I can leave ex: pair of socks, lying in the hall, on the floor, in full view and dh would walk past them very time..for a week, I would think...

He does the dishes at weekend and thats it..

I have said before on threads like this one...

I can leave ex: pair of socks, lying in the hall, on the floor, in full view and dh would walk past them very time..for a week, I would think...

He does the dishes at weekend and thats it..

Soph28, know what you mean about feeling like a nag. It was one of my mother's bad traits so I am trying soooo hard to avoid it. Maybe men don't see being asked (then reminded) to do something as nagging.

haha lol....hate to break it to you they have mystical powers or alien dna that blocks their brain from seeing mess or foul smelling odours like their stinking socks trapped under the washing machine....

ok ok

Well how did I train my poodle oops I mean my man...hmm lets see

Sexual favours has worked for me so far my g/f said I'm his prostitute lol

Hey gets the dishes done, floors mopped, washing folded, I'm not complaining.

Less nagging helps and heaps of praise and you know what I do when he's in earshot of me on the phone I reinforce his good behaviours by bragging on the phone to g/f's and she'll do the same to me so have this mn network going even when not online lol.

Good luck any more tips ladies...

Not at all possible. They cant see they have to be told.

Custardo, I don't feel like the maid. DH washes up every day and does other stuff regularly but apart from the washing up I always have to remind or ask him. How is it that a man can remember that every Monday is such and such meeting at work but not that every Tuesday the bins need to go out.

Definitely want to avoid using sex as an incentive. That would take all the romance out of it!

I did a thread on this once

dh threw a pack of Flash Wipes up the stairs to go in the bathroom. They were still at the top of the stairs ages after so I thought, right, I am not moving them.

They stayed there for eons, a trip hazzard.

They do not see it.

Tell them straight. Move it, bin it, empty it, sweep it etc etc.

Thanks for all your input. So asking/reminding seems to be something I have to get used to.
Now I need ideas for revenge - what's a universal feminine trait that winds men up that I will have to tell DH to get used to?