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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tell me about your happy relationship

74 replies

NoCapes · 29/09/2016 18:02

What is it about your partner and relationship do you love?
I don't mean the buzz words - 'honesty, respect' etc etc
I mean what do they mean for you? How do you know you're loved, how is it shown?
What is it about your relationship that makes you know that you want to be there?

Really break it down to me Smile

OP posts:
VioletRoar · 29/09/2016 19:11

He will make me a cuppa just because.
We laugh at each other's jokes.
He listens to me and respects my views.
He'll grab my fave chocolate if he's in a shop.
Household chores are 50/50.
All sounds a bit basic but they're things I really treasure and never saw between my parents

JasmineBuckles · 29/09/2016 19:12

He thinks I am brilliant, and tells me and other people that all the time.

He never once has put me down, belittled me or made me feel shit.

Things are more fun with him, even going to the supermarket we have a laugh. He takes time off work if I have a hospital appointment so I don't have to drive.

He is proud of me, all the time. I picked him up from the station in my pjs with birds nest hair, not realising I was giving his colleague (who I'd never met) a lift home. When we were on our own he told me how proud he was to show off his clever gorgeous girlfriend. I am neither of those things but to him I am just the best thing ever.

I try very hard to look after him like he looks after me, he's my best friend and I am incredibly lucky.

Blueskyrain · 29/09/2016 19:15

If we are talking about how he shows his love practically, things like, lots of affection, kisses, snuggles, breakfasts in bed, romantic weekends away. He's the guy who proposed under a giant 26 foot homemade rainbow that he took time off work to build. Thats pretty outing (hello there, anyone that knows me ;-) ) but I don't care.

Given how 'outing' that is, there's the many times he's taken time off work, or worked until the early hours baking for me (and my friends), the handmade advent calendar that he made, that he fills with chocolates every year.

Those things are just in the context of him being a really lovely guy, who makes it his priority in life to make me smile as much as possible. I feel honoured and privileged to be married to him.

W8woman · 29/09/2016 19:20

Back in the days of the Ark when we first started living together, I told him how much I appreciated him doing his share of the housework because my parents never managed it and my mother really resented it. He told me,"There's no such thing as sharing out the work; we both have to give it 100%." It's become our motto.

RonBurgundysMoustache · 29/09/2016 19:22

He is my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime and the only man I have ever truely loved.. he makes me laugh until I cry, he makes me feel beautiful and cherished everyday he listens to me, he does his fair share of chores and childcare.. he goes out of his way to do things for me if I have had a bad day and when he is away (travel with work) I don't feel complete as sickly as it is it's true! I love the very bones of him, and I still get butterflies when we get a rare night out, I still fancy the arse off him 10years after I first laid eyes on him.

capes I posted in your thread a while ago, sorry you had such a dick munch of a partner but there are some good ones out there as this thread shows!

WingsofNylon · 29/09/2016 19:32

capes I am pleased you are still posting and I hope there responses give you a lift.

As well as the things he does it is the things he never does that show me I'm loved.

He never calls me names, puts me down or makes me feel stupid. He has never made me feel physically or emotionally threatened. He never dictates what I do,say,wear.

Today he drove 3 hours with me to pick up a suitcase I left on a train for no reason other than to keep me company. When I told him he didn't have to be said 'Getting to spend more time with you is a joy'

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 29/09/2016 19:32

He does at the very least half of the housework, does his fair share of childcare without any whinging, buys me little things that he thinks will cheer up my day, rubs my back whenever I want, makes sure there's loads of hot water and a glass of wine so I can have a bath...the list goes on and on.

He also drives me bloody nuts sometimes but he's a good 'un really...oh and he started off being a bit rubbish but now he's a great partner and dad Smile

PaintingPolly · 29/09/2016 19:35

He is kind.
He does just as much housework/childcare as me.
He makes me tea without asking.
He always asks me if I want something when he's making a snack.
He lets me have his lie in when he knows I'm tired.
The first two are the most important.

Fauchelevent · 29/09/2016 19:36

I know we're happy and in the right place, not when we go to fancy places, for dinners or anything like that but when we're cuddled up, giggling and silly together in a way we just rarely are with others. So completely far from our worries, just the two of us being us.

Mrsderekshepard · 29/09/2016 19:40

My dh walked out 30 mins ago saying he would be back for more stuff in a few days. He's accused me of an affair with somebody at work. He claims somebody has phoned him to tell him. It's absolute bollocks.

Elllicam · 29/09/2016 19:45

Oh no Derek I'm so sorry :(

BingBongBingBong · 29/09/2016 19:47

He's so lovely to me.
Sometimes I catch him just looking at me with a dopey lovestruck smile on his face. I always ask him why he's staring at me in mock annoyance and he always says because I'm gorgeous or because he just loves me so much.
He does little things around the house that I don't want to or like to do.
I'm a naturally chilly person and he always lets me steal his heat by putting my cold feet on him.
He tells me he loves me a lot.
He has never once in our relationship let me down, even in the early days of dating when most guys fucked me about in the past.
He tells me I am beautiful loads.
We good around and be silly together. He's never once made me feel weird or silly and gets my sense of humour. No matter where we go or what we do we have fun.
He always lets me have the last bit of chocolate or last can of pop.
I feel like we are a team and he really is my best friend.
He looks after me and I love looking after him.

BingBongBingBong · 29/09/2016 19:49

Goof* not good obviously!

SaggyNaggy · 29/09/2016 19:49

The o ly way I can describe my relationship to an outsioutsider, without going onto reems of information, is to just say that we're a team.
Everything we do is a team effort. From parenting, to housework, to our relationship. I am her biggest support her and will be on her side no matter what the opposition. She has my absolute love, trust and respect.
She can be a little self centred at times but she works hard to support the family so an occasional selfish indulgement is justified I believe.

BatSegundo · 29/09/2016 19:54

Firstly Flowers for MrsDerek

My DP always looks at me with a kind, loving gaze. If he hugs me, I feel safe. I'm not a morning person and he not on!y gets up with the kids but also brings me tea in bed every single morning. He is honest and gentle. He does half the housework and sees that as fair and normal. He enjoys my company, loves me for my mind, my personality, not my looks. I do not worry that he will leave me when I get old or if I put on weight. He bakes REALLY good chocolate cake Grin

NoCapes · 29/09/2016 20:23

Flowers derek

This thread is lovely, actually made me a bit teary in places Blush thank you all for sharing Smile

RonBurgundy & Wings thank you Smile I'm still around, still struggling to accept that this really is it tbh so I thought I'd start a happy little thread to show me what I could have
but it's only made me sadder that I didn't have any of this with him

OP posts:
Shayelle · 29/09/2016 20:36

Im in tears too!! It goes to show there ARE good relationships to aspire to. There is no need to put up with shit, pain, because there might not be anything better. Its wonderful how posters on here have found their True Love Grin 💖

6demandingchildren · 29/09/2016 20:40

My hubby in 20 years has only bought me flowers 3 times he isn't very romantic but when I went into hospital and he couldn't be with me he told me he sat in the car crying (he doesn't cry)
If I have not been feeling too good he will get in from work and cook dinner for the kids thenow make me a dinner, he let's me watch what I want on tv. He encourages me to do things that I don't think I can do as he believes in me.
He is my best friend and he does silly things to make me laugh like we have a projector in the bedroom and one day he was being annoying and he grabbed the duvet and held it up laughing that I could no longer see the TV, I had the last laugh as the duvet was white lol.

kimono77 · 29/09/2016 20:47

My husband is just a sweet and loving guy. The way he touches me and looks at me makes me feel like I am beautiful and feminine even though I am neither of those things. He brings me little treats or goes out of his way to make sure I'm happy and have what I need. He always does what he says he will do and has never let me down. The sex is great, passionate and loving. Also I feel he lets me by totally myself without any judgement so that even my odder traits and habits are looked on with fondness rather than being criticised or ridiculed so I just feel very safe and accepted by him warts and all.

We are lucky to be in sync on most things, we are both quite introvert and shy and like to do our own thing alone sometimes but we have lost of lovely times together watching films, going for walks, playing games and doing jigsaws together. I'm sure it must sound boring to a lot of people but to me its bliss. I still love him so much and fancy him like mad after 20 years together its the one area of my life where I have been lucky!

kimono77 · 29/09/2016 20:49

spelling mistake should say lots not lost in the last paragraph!

HormonalHeap · 29/09/2016 21:09

He turns off my alarm before I wake up, takes my (not his) ds to school just so I can sleep in. Supports my children financially as their arsehole of a dad doesn't, and takes pride in their achievements. I have a disability and yesterday he told me he wishes he had it told not me.

Needless to say I adore him, love cooking him food he loves and giving him the cuddles he craves.

Chocolou · 29/09/2016 21:19

What a lovely thread. I'm so envious at a lot of your relationships. I've been with dp for 13 years and don't think it's ever been like that and I'm gutted.

Would give my right arm to be loved like you guys are. Hang on to those wonderful men with all your might.

MrsT2007 · 29/09/2016 21:35

He's my lobster.
We have the same values. We pull in the same direction.
He's a great daddy. Even though he works long hours, he does his very best to be here for bedtimes & arranges work and other things around that.
He compromises to support my ventures and my life and I do the same for him.
He makes me tea. Even if he doesn't want one himself.
He lets me have weekend lie ins cos I get up in the night if the kids wake.
He always puts his family first.
He kisses me good night and goodbye every day.

HormonalHeap · 29/09/2016 21:37

Chocolou I don't think there is perfection. I think a lot of these men also have flaws not everyone can live with. For example, people take advantage of my dh's good nature, he can't see it and we fight like cat and dog about it. Nothing's perfect, but I think if one's content then that's good.

ArchiesMamaBird · 29/09/2016 21:43

He knows I'm a stubborn cow, so he will ALWAYS back down from an argument, even if he's right Blush

He calls me every morning and at lunchtime and texts me throughout the day.

And he's working every spare hour he gets right now to renovate a house so that we can move in soon. He's always talking about our future and how he can't wait to grow old with me.