Fucking hell. I've turned into one of those women whose DH pisses in the bedroom.

[QueenArseClangers]

Jesus effing Christ.
All the usual caveats (fantastic husband, father, shares shitwork, loving etc. ) but I'm really disappointed.

Last night DH went out with some 'dad friends' for a few hours. He was reluctant to go (hardly ever goes out) but I mithered him into it knowing he needed to let off steam and have some time.
FFS though. He came back after 2am (fine by me) but clattered about waking me and baby (and we'd only drifted off to sleep ten mins before as DD was feeling poorly, clutching a sick bowl.)
Then proceeded to 'chat' to me in a very loud voice followed by snoring of epic proportions. Like a pig with a fucking chainsaw.
Then more banging about opening the cupboard door to try and get out of our room. Culminating, half an hour later with the tinkling noise of him pissing on the telly that's on top of (thankfully) his drawers.
He cleaned it up (as well as he could in his pissed state) and went to sleep downstairs. I've had exactly 2 hours 50 minutes sleep.
I've never got myself in that state since having kids and certainly never pissed on the bedroom floor/furniture.
Why do (some) blokes do this?

Ugh grim

Disgusting.

No, your H has turned in to one of these disgusting men who cannot control how much they drink to the point of loosing all control over their bodily functions +/- their judgement.
How utterly, utterly grim.

Is he up yet?
Hope his head hurts.
Leave him to it.

He may need to do some more cleaning up/buying a new TV once he's capable again...

Yuck, however, you haven't turned in to 'one of those women', he's turned in to one of those blokes who pisses in the bedroom whilst pissed.

It's annoying but a one off I think.

You say he hardly ever goes out and didn't particularly want to go. He probably has a low tolerance to alcohol and tried to keep up with his friends, especially if they were taking turns buying rounds.
Sad, I know, but an all blokes outing often turns into a drinkathon where you are not a real man if you can't keep up. I've worked in pubs and seen it many a time.

I hope he is mortified this morning. Cleaning up wee with a stonking hangover maybe punishment enough.

Oh dear-maybe don't mither him into going out drinking next time . Does the telly still work?

Yes - HE has turned into..... Fuck all to do with you

What a twat, how old is he? He sounds about 16

If it's a one off and he's mortified I'd not be bothered or make a big deal out of it.

Why are you applying his behaviour to yourself ?

If this is a one off, hopefully the hangover and the grim clean up job (plus you making sure you tell everybody what he has done ) will be enough to prevent another occurrence

I don't get too exercised about stupid (but ultimately harmless) drunken behaviour, tbh

I cannot fathom why behaviour like this is tolerated so often.

It's revolting.

It is annoying and I can see why you're pissed off, hopefully he is feeling mortified and apologetic this morning.

If it's any consolation DP's done it. He had a could of beers at home one night and then went to bed, dreamed we were still living in the old house (we'd just moved) and went for a wee in the hall where the old toilet would have been. He was mortified and it's never happened since. So it doesn't necessarily mean it's a new habit, sometimes these things just happen - I've known female friends who've done it too after one too many.

*couple not could. Stupid phone!

Haha if it was my OH and it was a one off from someone that doesn't go out on the razz much Id laugh, make him clean it hung over a move on.

Also, it's not only guys that do this!

I cannot fathom why some people find harmless behaviour like this (if rare, course) intolerable but will excuse the behaviour of drunken men who go to strip clubs etc as "boys will be boys"

( not saying you personally excuse that, Calm, but I do see it a lot)

If it's a one off and he's embarrassed, cleans up etc then yes, I'd be pissed off but it hardly makes him a twat.

What's he said this morning?

He's up, showered, cleaning the floor. Doing a load of washing and entertaining kids. Sent me back to bed to snooze and MN.
We have a drink at home but it seems that there's no 'off' switch if he's out. Saying that, he goes out about twice a year and much prefers spending any child free time with me.
He'd rather chew his own arm off than go to a strip club, so he's not one of 'those' dickheads
In fact, he refused to go to one when he had to do a job there with work (and that was in the daytime!)
He's hungover but cracking on with kids/housework. Think it might've had something to do with the local speciality 8% cider he was bought last night...

You talked him into going out when he didn't really want to go, he's not used to going out on the piss but probably found himself in a rounds situation with a load of other blokes so he got totally hammered. As long as he's cleaned up after himself and it doesn't happen regularly, think you need to have a sense of humour about this one!

And the tv seems fine.

Cross post OP. He sounds like a top bloke. Make sure you take the piss about it for the next twenty years at least though!

Good stuff OP. Enjoy your snooze.

All's well that ends well.

My partner did this a few months ago, in the morning he got a walking tour of the house because clearly he needed to be reacquainted with it.
it was a one off though he hasn't done it before and I dont think he would dare now

Yeah, perhaps that was a daft idea.
Thing is, he had a marvellous time. And he wasn't out with blokey blokes. A couple of dads from school and a mum watching a band. He just gets overexcited and turns into a 19 year old again, which is great. As long as it doesn't involve pissing in our bedroom.

Good outcome

Yes, utterly grim, but if a one-off, and he cleans it up, and apologises profusely, then probably not an issue.