Fucking hell. I've turned into one of those women whose DH pisses in the bedroom.

[QueenArseClangers]

Jesus effing Christ.
All the usual caveats (fantastic husband, father, shares shitwork, loving etc. ) but I'm really disappointed.

Last night DH went out with some 'dad friends' for a few hours. He was reluctant to go (hardly ever goes out) but I mithered him into it knowing he needed to let off steam and have some time.
FFS though. He came back after 2am (fine by me) but clattered about waking me and baby (and we'd only drifted off to sleep ten mins before as DD was feeling poorly, clutching a sick bowl.)
Then proceeded to 'chat' to me in a very loud voice followed by snoring of epic proportions. Like a pig with a fucking chainsaw.
Then more banging about opening the cupboard door to try and get out of our room. Culminating, half an hour later with the tinkling noise of him pissing on the telly that's on top of (thankfully) his drawers.
He cleaned it up (as well as he could in his pissed state) and went to sleep downstairs. I've had exactly 2 hours 50 minutes sleep.
I've never got myself in that state since having kids and certainly never pissed on the bedroom floor/furniture.
Why do (some) blokes do this?

[alrightarekid]

Get a grip poppy it's not like it was intentional bad behaviour. He doesn't go out much and had a little bit too much to drink. It's a one off.

[NorbertDentressangle]

FIL has nearly done this a few times according to my MIL.

The daft thing is he sleeps on the side of the bed nearest to the door to the bathroom but he gets out of bed and walks around the bed to MILs side and starts crashing around trying to find the toilet!

I woke up once to find DP walking round the room stroking the walls. I think it was a lucky escape because when I asked him what he was doing he said , in a very drunken befuddled state, that he was trying to find the door as he needed to go to the bathroom. I hate to think where he would've pissed if I'd not woken up.

[kaputt]

This is actually a great gift to you OP. The time DH pissed all over himself and the cat is one of my very best pub stories, and remain grateful to this day to him for providing me with it.

Cat still won't sleep in the bedroom.

[PoppyBirdOnAWire]

I cannot believe the way some people behave. This is beyond gross.

[Squeegle]

I have tried to get into a wardrobe (repeatedly) when drunk and staying at someone else's house. I was trying to get out to go to the bathroom!

[benbry]

My mum's new bloke opened her wardrobe and pissed into her expensive leather boots.

That was 50 years ago, so nothing really changes. He became a lovely step dad.

[gratesnakes]

Got to love a man who can be cheerful through a hangover. We all need a walk on the wild side sometimes.

[AnyFucker]

It's not funny, and it's not clever

[PacificDogwod]

Thumb, me too and me neither!

AF
That would be worse....

[AnyFucker]

A male relative of mine once, when pissed, tried to climb in bed with his parents and when rebuffed then tried to piss on their bed.

It could be worse...

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I've been seriously drunk before, but have never ever managed to piss anywhere other than in the correct place. I just don't know how that happens!

[QueenArseClangers]

Ha ha! No LTB at all.
He's taking little kids to the shops/park now. Actually, he's a bloody amazing DH and friend. Coffee in bed every morning for me, does 50% housework, childcare, helps look after my elderly mum, makes me laugh and fished my poo out of the birth pool without a second glance

Think I'll leave him a TenaLady pad on his pillow tonight though instead of a chocolate.

[19lottie82]

Well I've reached the end of the thread and not one single LTB to be found, how disappointing!

[PacificDogwod]

Oh, all's good

Picking up dog poo in the garden seems entirely appropriate IMO
(I am about to do same. Sigh)

[OnionKnight]

My mum once got so drunk she attempted to wee in her bedroom, luckily dad caught her and guided her to the loo

If it's a one off it's not a big deal.

[Mummydummy]

Yeah I wouldn't be delighted by the pissing thing. But he's making amends this morning. Once in a while everyone deserves some fun and to let their hair down. Otherwise life is a lot of responsibility and tedium. I hope you have some good nights out too (but just manage to find the toilet).

[VioletBam]

It's a confusion thing. My DH hasn't done it but my BIL has and he's a lovely man usually. He pissed in the wardrobe and my poor sister was MORTIFIED! He was convinced that he'd opened the door to the loo....

[Cary2012]

Put your favourite album on nice and loud OP, something grungy or heavy rock should be fine. Cook a very spicy lunch!
Do you perhaps have a rabbit hutch he could clean out? Borrow one?
Tell him the drains are playing up and he needs to inspect....
Go on, you know you want to.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

much rather watch telly in his jamas

Let's hope he doesn't get his pjs on tonight, switch on the bedroom tv and it crackles, fizzes and dies, leaving a faint smell of burning piss.

[JakeBallardswife]

Seems like you're dealing with it well. I like the encouraging him to go out. I have to do that with DH. He tends to get carried away with certain friends and doesn't have an off button. But he's never wee;d in the bedroom. But, he did get in late one evening years ago and unfortunately his mother was staying for the weekend too. So, he had me looking displeased ( for being noisy not for being in late) as he walked in and then his mother, who rather than shut up and keep out of it decided to have a real go at him.

This involved him walking out of the house. I knew he'd be ok as he'd go and sleep in the car / shed / hammock. However she went mental. Told her to shhussh and go back to bed and I was not walking the fields looking for him.

Bless, He'd gone to the end of the garden and pitched a tent as he wanted some peace.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I understand it's more common than we realise especially with men when very drunk. Dh almost did it last year in a hotel after a wedding. I directed him to the loo. Then I had to push him off because I was dying for a wee and to boot, I was on driving duty the next morning with very little sleep.

[QueenArseClangers]

He's not chipper ILost, he's just getting on with the daily grind. With a headache. And wobbliness. And that awful sweaty hot faced feeling

[arabellalady]

My ex-DP did this on one occasion, but more unfortunately all over our carpet as he sleep-walked which got much worse when plastered

We had a desk in our room that he worked from home on, he got up, pissed all over his laptop (ha) then all over the desk and carpet. I was so cross..

However this was an indication of a much wider problem of him going out boozing whereas this sounds a genuine embarrassing mistake. Try and laugh it off and think yourself lucky you didn't have to replace your bedroom carpet!

[QueenArseClangers]

He's just told me he doesn't want to go out on his own again
Much rather have a fiddle with his guitar and watch telly in his jamas.
And guitar isn't a euphemism.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Well he sounds remarkably chipper this morning. Perhaps he's still pissed?
The real hangover will probably kick in after a few hours and he'll morph into a gibbering wreck welded to the sofa sometime after lunch .