Boyfriend has suddenly shut me out and deleted me

[BlueAndPinkPolkadots]

I've been on and off with a guy who works away for a couple of years now, the distance has been testing to say the least but we made it work. For the most part the relationship was quite casual. A few months ago we decided we would make a proper go of it with a view to move in together which would mean me upping sticks and moving 200 miles away which I was happily prepared to do as I adore the man, happy days so I thought - finally we are getting somewhere.

Three months into being "official" and just before I'm about to move across the country he's still got his relationship status on Facebook as single and doesn't want certain friends of his to know me and him are a couple. Rightly so I felt I needed reassurance before I take such a big step, so I sent him a message asking him why he was insistent on being so secretive about the relationship and said I needed to be %100 sure he was serious about me before I took such a big step.

He has a paddy, tells me he lives in the real world and I need to get a hobby as my paranoia is boring (I've raised the issue of our relationship being a secret a total of maybe three times as my moving date approached - I'm not a paranoid person at all) then deletes me from Facebook and totally blanks me. We haven't spoken in three days. Clearly the move is off now and he won't acknowledge a single one of my messages. I've even been doubting my own self esteem wondering whether I came off as paranoid and needy, but then who wouldn't want to know the man they love wasn't playing the field before they made a life changing move? I don't think I need at all, nor do my family.

To salvage the relationship I tell him fine ok the Facebook thing isn't a problem. I understand it doesn't matter. (Mug on my forehead no doubt) but he goes on to completely blank me like he was looking for an excuse to end it anyway. He later tells a mutual friend of ours that he loves me but can't be doing with the 'hassle' as he has a lot on at work.

Am I remotely in the wrong for raising the issue? Would anyone else be okay with his position? Does it seem like he was serious about me at all?

he goes on to completely blank me like he was looking for an excuse to end it anyway

Nail on head.

He doesn't want to be with you and he's not coming back.

Which is just as well as he sounds an absolute tosser.

Well done OP.

If you're in a relationship you want it to be with someone who wants to shout it from the rooftops!

I agree that this guy wants someone else to think he is single. His defensiveness is a classic tell tale sign!

Maybe I am a daft romantic, but I do believe that any bloke who deserves the title of "Your Boyfriend" should be thrilled to bits to shout it from the rooftops that that is what he is. Go find a man who is proud to be with you, not advertising himself as single on Faceache!

I have suspected for some time he's a narcissist anyway if I'm completely honest. I've never known a man with a bigger ego or less regard for the feelings of others. He's focused on his job which is great, but God help anyone who he thinks is getting in the way or distracting him

A relative of his was critically ill at one point, they didn't get on at all, but despite that he was still saying he couldn't give a toss if they died. I think that says enough about who he is as a person, I should have ran for the hills then

He's blocked now, just as he should be. He's not a good man in the slightest. I have to keep telling myself that. Good riddance to him

Look on it as a lucky escape OP

I hope your self esteem is nor dented by this tosser. It shouldn't be. There's no shame in being loving. He is a miserable git who does not deserve you.
Hope you can move on from him nice and quickly. What a wanker. Good luck to you you sound lovely.

Well done, OP. Stay strong.

When (not if) he tries it on again, please do share his pathetic attached not with us! We can help you pick it apart and laugh and point at him and make you feel better.

In the meantime look up "future faking", if you haven't already.

Today, do something WONDERFUL for yourself. And I second the suggestion that you leave your phone home for a while.

Despite my repeating of the fact "I'm not ending this" he's said I have and said he's sticking with my decision. Such childishness.
^This^ . Bullet well dodged. He doesn't even have the balls to finish it himself. You are well rid!
Congrats on blocking the twat

Good for you OP

Think of him as your frog. We've all kissed a few of them before the right one comes along.