Think I've missed my chance...

[Mistymychance]

I went out with an amazing man six years ago for two years. The we broke up for a year, went out for another year and broke up again. The only reason for both break ups was because I couldn't juggle children and a relationship.

I'm in a better place now, both DS grown up and I desperately want to try again. He is so nice I would be amazed if he's not been snapped up.

I want to text and ask, but is it better to let it stay in the past it give it a try? I would be gutted if I got turned down and will always regret losing him, but I know deep down I didn't have a choice at the time.

[Cabrinha]

Well, even if it was his "new" girlfriend I think you've dodged a bullet there.
If it was her sending the blistering texts (and I agree it sounds like it) I don't blame her...
From her point of view her boyfriend is sending pre-affair texts to a former girlfriend.
So what you've dodged is a man prepared to suss out your interest level even though he's with someone.
Not nice.
Hope it helps you to draw a line under him and move forward.
Feel for you though - what an up and down

[Mistymychance]

Thank you Cabrinha, I just feel so stupid. I would never have suggested the drink if I knew he was in a relationship.

It makes me so sad, not just that I lost my chance, but because my lovely memories of him and our time together are spoilt.

[Mistymychance]

I feel so sad, I know it was stupid but I wanted what we had before. I did what felt like the right thing at the time, now I just wish I had tried harder and not let him go.

It took a while to pluck up the courage to text him and I was so happy, his texts were so warm and caring and full of compliments. Now I've crashed down so much harder than if he'd been honest in the first place.

[SeasonalVag]

You took a gamble op, it didn't pay off. Faint heart neer won fair lady and all that.....I did something similar, also got knocked back and met my husband a few months later. Well done on being proactive and ignore the tone of the final text.

[Cabrinha]

Imagine how hard his girlfriend crashed, reading his warm and caring and complimentary texts to you. And be glad you're not her. Situation could be worse.

Don't feel stupid - you were pro-active and brave. That's brilliant! Not your fault he's not what you thought he was.

Don't beat yourself up about letting him go - if this had been the right man for you, the two of you would have managed things at the time.

So many people posting on here are in shit relationships way past their sell by date (mine was too, it's an observation not a criticism) but you were strong enough to end something that wasn't working, back then.

Find that strength again, and look forward not back!

[Mistymychance]

Thank you so much, I really need to hear those words. I am so shocked he would let someone treat me this way. We parted as amicably as possible and always texted on burthdays and when something reminded us of each other.

I know you are right; I've been in the same position as his GF with my Ex and reading his texts to someone else was awful.

I am still reeling from the cruelty of it all, I would never in a million years thought he would do that to me.

Back to OLD for me I guess

Thank you, everyone. I am crying here at work and feel too stupid to share it with RL friends, so your support is absolutely priceless x