Don't like him sleeping near me

[Mrsjacksparrow]

My partner comes to stay with us on a weekend, he stays from Friday night until Sunday night.

I suffer from insomnia, I can go for 3 or 4 nights with no sleep at all and at the end of it I feel ill, headachey, sick and obviously tired. I've just got over a bout of it and judging by past experiences this should mean that I will sleep soundly for the next 4 nights at least.

The problem is when DP is here I don't get any sleep because of his snoring, he snores really loudly and it irritates the hell out of me, especially as it keeps me away when I have enough trouble sleeping as it is.

I suppose I begrudge this even more since he doesnt even live here yet he gets to sleep soundly and I get kept awake all night in my own bed.

I know it sounds like I'm just being a diva wanting the bed to myself but I really do value the sleep I get and it annoys me that he prevents me from sleeping on my "good nights", I know he can't help it but he refuses to get help for it.

I can't sleep in the kids beds and I won't sleep on the couch, what do I do? just put up with it?

Ah Fizzbuzz.... but would your lovely little tablet keep you asleep through 100 decibels of snoring bloke on the next pillow? eh?

Hmmmm good question, forgot about that!
However if she fell asleep before him, she may not hear it.

Actually, this whole thing isn't about snoring at all. It's about the OPs partner's complete and utter lack of respect for her and lack of social skills, coupled with her existing insomnia problem. MrsJS, when I was in my lack-of-sleep years (due to work issues rather than insomnia) I found out first-hand why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture, and what I do understand is that you're probably feeling desprate, powerless and trapped. Even though the solution - saying "F* off, matey!" - is obvious to outsiders, sleeplessness makes you feel like you're trapped in glue and unable to function.
Here's hoping that the comments from everyone else on here to the effect that the way your snory,farty, stinky , utterly selfish neanderthal houseguest behaves is not remotely acceptable helps you to send him on his malororous rumbling way.

I am also a very light sleeper, I have just let my dh back into our bed after him sleeping downstairs for 3 years with the twins, but now he's back and the twins are now sleeping I am awake all night listening to him sleeping.

Until 'KLEENEZE' I bought these silicone things he puts up his nose, 'IT WORKS' 22 years of putting up with his snoring, I am eleated, (understatement) I think they are called 'stop snore' or 'snore stop'

We even have single beds, that we obviously have together, but when he turns over at night he doesn't disturb me bouncing the whole bed around! Only dis-advantage is, classed as super-king size bed, so its hard to find bedding! but well worth it!

Good luck!

Symathies MrsJS. I used to get so outrageously pissed off with my EX-P about his snoring, farting, sweating and bad breath in bed. It's horrible to share you bed with someone that makes it impossible for you to relax and sleep. I would lay there getting more and more furious, poking him in the ribs to wake him, whispering at him to turn over and it was all pointless. It would take ages to wake him, which would often wake DS (double the reason to get pissed off) and then 2 minutes later he'd be grunting again. Only a farm animal could have been less pleasant to share a bed with.

It obviously wasn't the only reason we seperated. He was always apologetic the next day and I think he did genuinely feel bad about me never getting any sleep, but not enough to make him try and lose weight, or look into treatments. I got more and more resentful and because I was so tired all the time every little thing he did during the day would be a much bigger irritation to me than it should have been.

It's absolutely unacceptable for your DP to interupt your precious sleep. If it were me I'd tell him that he can sleep on the sofa or piss off.

Oh god this thread has bought back some really bad memories! I do not suffer from insomnia but am a very light sleeper. My EX-P used to drive me nuts with the bedroom routine, I used to dread going to bed with him at night. It was the same every night.

When we were together, at the time i was doing a full time course, working 4 days a week, doing a lot of travelling etc, he worked 2 days a week and did f**c all the rest of the time, just smoked a lot of weed. So you can imagine i was genuinly knackered all the time. We'd get into bed and i'd lie down and it would feel like heaven, just to lie down and be still. Then in he'd get and i immedietley started to get pestered, he'd move lots, nuzzle into me, start spooning me etc. Basically his way of saying i want sex! So we'd have sex and he suffered with premature ejaculation that at first i thought would just go away (nerves when in a new relationship etc) but in the 10 months we were together it NEVER went away, just got worse. Cant begin to tell you how frustrating it is getting hassled for sex when your knackered, knowing that it'd be over within 1 minute (no joke) and you get nothing out of it but the distgusting feel of his man juice dribbling down your leg because he feels 'condoms are too uncomfortable to wear!'

The other thing with the sex was that whilst he was very underweight he was really unfit, no excercise, bad diet, heavy smoker etc. This meant that during sex he used to sweat - a lot! Literally his pits emmanated droplets of sweat that would drip onto my face. Not to mention the rest of his body being a blanket of moisture, he'd go to get of me and have to peel himself away from me, he just covered his body sweat all over me. Oh god and the smell!!!! Now i'm a clean and hygeine freak too, so you can imagine how having somebody elses sweaty pit droplets landing on you face would damage a person for the rest of their lives......

Then within seconds of finishing he'd be dead to the world and i'd be lying there WIDE AWAKE for hours. Then his snoring would start, then his sleep movements (disruptive sleeper, he'd kick out lots and wriggle about) then the sleep talking, then came the farting, oh and he also didn't brush his teeth very often so the breath and smell of sweat was enough to keep you awake alone. Then he'd cuddle into me and he also had a habbit of dribbling a lot in his sleep, so he'd cuddle into me and would leave a trail of his dribble in my hair. Oh god i'm actually physically cringing at the memories of all this.

All of these things meant i never slept when with him (10 months!), i'd usually go and sleep on his couch that gave me severe back problems and no sleep either. And he'd wake up in the morning come and see me in the other room and get angry at ME for not sleeping with him in the bed! To cut a long story short we are not together anymore and yes all of these things had a contribution to the break up. Am now pg by him however so here's hoping the kid takes after me eh

Christ On A Bike.... what a horrible thing.. sweat dripping off armpits into your face . I would have had to have shower straight away!

you were with this revolting unquiet corpse for 10 months??? TEN MONTHS? Did he hypnotise you?

Lol, seriously thinking about it makes my left eye start to twitch nervously at the memories. These were just the 'bedroom and sleeping' problems in the relationship as well. Add to it his possessivnous (sp), paranoia, drug addictions (maninly weed), bum like quality of life, he never had any money cause he never worked, still lived with his parents (soon to be 22), the sex stuff (most frustrating 10 months of my life), never wanted to go out and do anything, his mood swings (worse than me on a bad pmt day), lord the list is flippin endless!

10 months, yeah even i look back and am amazed i stuck it for so long. Would it sound silly if i said he wasn't like this when we first met. Then bam, 2 months into the relationship everything went downhill....
Little did i know it wouldn't change back to how it had been for the next 8 months lol! Am now 6 months pregnant and never hear from him. He's not all bad, he was actually a good guy and was always lovely to me and loved me very much. But god he's the one person in the world i could have easily KILLED! It was more his habbits and ways that drove me away - just very different people. I used to think after i ended it that i had maybe been petty - then when i look at all this when it's written down, know i had just cause!

The crap us women have to put up with eh?

I read these forums a lot because I really like to get a woman's point of view on stuff. By "point of view", I mean what women say to each other - not what they say to men.

Anyway, this thread had me dropping my jaw in disbelief. Mrsjacksparrow: this man is a fat, smelly, unhygeinic, selfish, inconsiderate pig. If any mate of mine acted like that... well, let's just say I'm not mates with anybody who acts like that!

And all of you women are so considerate... this whole "gently nudging and whispering to wake him" while the slumbering whale bellows at the ceiling next to you! Good grief, I'd keep a bucket of water next to the bed.

Seriously, though: when I've had a cough in the past that's been keeping my wife awake, I go and sleep in the office. And then last year she had tonsilitis and was snoring in her sleep, and I'd rather have had my ears removed with pliers than let my sick wife go and sleep in the office - so I ended up there again!

Women do tend to be very critical of their men, and I think they're often critical of the areas in which men and women are just different. You're almost always super-considerate, though, and your men owe it to you to give you the same consideration! Kick this pig out on his ear!

Hows it going Mrsjacksparrow?

Lwatkins - are you over the trauma now? I'm sure it wasn't at all funny for you at the time but I couldn't help sniggering at the armpit droplets landing in your face etc...

Seamonstr - My EX-P did end up on the sofa many times, but the amount of arseing around involved in waking him up, him finding a pillow and a blanket and making it to the living room often woke DS who would then want to get in bed with me - and unfortunately he takes after his father (poor future DIL ).

I remember wanting to kill him once because he woke ME up because I was breathing heavily whilst sleeping when I had a chest infection and hadn't slept for days. It hadn't occured to him that this was damn right unreasonable - he did it for the "novelty factor".

Ten months? I stood it for 23 years. Mind you it was never as extreme as LW's jolly experience, but soon-to-be-ex H did go for months in the winter without bathing because the weather was too cold, and weeks in the summer because hot water costs money and "only dirty people need to wash". He is quite skinny and doesn't snore all the time, but when he does he could have won medals for England. I'd prod him, he'd say sorry, then go straight off again. Worse than the snoring, in recent years, was the lip flapping - do you know what I mean, his mouth sort of popping as he breathed out -much quieter, but somehow far more annoying.

We're still sharing a house while the divorce goes through (weird, longish story not for this thread), but have not shared a room for about nine months, and I must say I've never slept better. When I informed him we were going to have separate rooms from now on, he claimed he was relieved because I'd nudged him so hard in the ribs that he thought one might be broken. Total BS of course. (Now if he said I'd broken his ankle by kicking it, that I might have believed. I just can't get the power behind an elbow to do that much damage.)

Reminds one of the good old joke: "If a man sits up in bed gasping and calling your name, what does it mean? It means you let the pillow up too soon."

r u girls for real (lwatkins n annie) i feel for ya but 10months and you 23 years wats up with that? i dont mean to be all judgmental but i'm glad its not your situation now

Anniegetyuorgun, did he really not have baths for months? . Ugh.....how horrid, people who don't keep themselves clean regularly really smell! How did you put up with it for so long? Ugh...

Ooh yes... the lip-flapping, popping noise... very annoying

i feel really lucky having the current p i have atm, he doesnt snore, doesnt have smelly morning breath and always smells good

exh was not like that tho

btw i told my p about this thread, and his reaction was the bloke should be dumped asap