soon to be second wife, second best?

[Ithurtssomuch]

Im due to get married very soon, have been engaged for 2 years. Its both our second marriages. Oh no children from his first,he was young, she cheated and left him after 7 years of marriage. Mine, 1 child from first marriage, he cheated and left me.
However now weve decided to actually tie the knot, im left feeling it being his second marriage is making me second best or inferior. The number of times ive heard "its different second time around....... " "you dont want anything big as youve done it before" "no gift list as its different second time around...."
it leaves you with some sort of inferiority complex that some how people dont see it as important this time...... i think the problem is everyone loved his ex wife..... they had been together "forever" first love etc..... and some how i dont match up even though she left by cheating and he never had children with her and weve had a child together.....
am i being daft? What do i do? Do i walk down the aisle feeling im in someones shadow?

I completely disagree that 2nd marriages are "less"

In fact, I actually think the opposite!

Out of ALL of my friends who married in their 20's, sadly every guy cheated and all of the marriages fell apart, except for one couple (he also cheated but she forgave him).

We are all on our 2nd marriages and they are all solid. It feels as though the first marriages were just done far too young, before anyone played the field and this led to cheating. This time round we are all older and wiser, and understand better how to make a marriage work.

My first marriage lasted 17 years (together 20). My current DH, I have been with for 8 years. Nobody thinks that this marriage is less important. If anything, they are just so happy that I finally found a good guy.

Could you be making this up in your head? I've no idea why everyone wouldn't just be really happy for you.

In any case, you really do need to stop giving this head space, or you'll ruin your special day.