Polyamory advice

[Artemic]

Hi everyone. I've never posted before but just really wanted to talk to people about my situation and get some advice. My OH and I have been married for 11 years and have four lovely children.

Our relationship has had ups and downs and our sex life over the last few years has been fantastic, since a certain book came out and we got a bit more adventurous it has been fantastic and we have never felt closer.

However in the last month my Wife has admitted to a desire to include another man in our relationship. Not a simple threesome, but a full blown third man in the house, to be another father to the kids and share our bed. I have no bi or poly amorous tendencies, and honestly feel upset and sick in the stomach when thinking about it.

I honestly feel lost. She still loves me, and we are still close, but whenever she mentions it I feel really low. Saying anything against it, mentioning how I feel or addressing the How the kids may react results in grumpyness from her. We have been together since high school and it's kinda come out of the blue, although several things do make a lot more sense now.

I don't want to change her, as that would be selfish and I know it means a lot to her, but I honestly don't think I could do it. She said she will feel unfulfilled and life won't be complete without another man.

Thanks for reading. I honestly feel better just getting this out.

:TLDR: My wife wants another man as well as me in her everything and I feel lost and sick.

A week away to sort her head out

actually if she's not enjoying the kids and is overextended, taking on far too much, she might just literally need time and space away.

She also needs to tackle the thing about taking too much on. She doesn't sound like she's thinking at all clearly or realistically atm, which could be because she's just overwhelmed. Stress can show itself in the oddest of ways.

At best a week away would give her head-space and physical rest and she might know what she really wants a bit better. That could be the status quo or it could be poly or something else. But if she is thinking of poly, she's approaching it with as much realism as a teen singing in a band thinking they're going to be superstars by 22.

I really would feel for anyone in this situation. I certainly wouldn't tolerate it & if it was a straight choice, I would have to leave the relationship.

How am I coming across as being passive.

By not shutting it right down and telling her it's monogamy or divorce and that she has 24 hours to decide or you'll decide and it won't be the Cuckold choice disguised as Polyamory.

I know we're all different, but my husband would not be posting here or anywhere else. He'd just think I was crazy and probably call my mum and tell her.

I personally would head straight to divorce if he as much as mentioned it to me.