husband went to swingers clubs behind my back. anyone has any info on such places in London?

[neverbetrickedagain]

well, that's it. I would appreciate any info about such places in London to help me put the pieces together so I can confront him before I do LTB. I have some evidence and I did a bit of research on the Internet but I need to know what I'm talking about because he is going to deny. I put together pieces of electronic trails that he left behind as he didn't think it would mean anything to me. or maybe I should just stop torturing myself and LTB.

[glitterwhip]

With every post it just gets worse op. So he controls all the finances and happily spends the family money on swingers clubs?
He needs punched in the throat ..if you do kick him out how will you manage financially?

[Buzzardbird]

He sounds a real 'catch' with his strippers, porn and swingers clubs. OK. Off to solicitors...many do a free 30min consultation.

[ImperialBlether]

You need to leave him and you have enough of a reason, god knows.

He will find he hasn't got the financial freedom he thinks he has - get onto a solicitor asap.

Oh and as to his looks - he may be goodlooking, but he sounds really sleazy, tbh. I think that shows pretty quickly.

[adora1]

Is there anything redeemable cos he sounds bloody awful.

[DaDman66]

"He expected sex 9 weeks after giving birth?! And that 'entitled' him to go to a sex club??"

^^Exactly.

I think you need to prepare yourself to get out. He sounds like a mega dick.

[neverbetrickedagain]

yeah, I know. I've been beating myself about it for a long time. I still do. I made such a wrong choice. that's why I don't really want to go back to my parents as my mum's going to say - what were you thinking when you married him?! on the other hand they are very old and sick so they need support let alone supporting me with 2 kids. lack of finances is the only thing stopping me at the moment.

[Destinysdaughter]

The one near Alexandra Palace is called Our place for fun.

www.ourplace4fun.com/

Unfortunately lots of married men do go to these places. Usually not to watch. He may have a Fuckbuddy that he went with.

Sorry this must be devastating for you.

[Sofabitch]

Sex isn't guaranteed at swinging clubs. Especially for single men.

He sounds like a douche either way

[adora1]

You are married therefore you are entitled to half the capital of anything owned, you need to get financial advise pronto, you don't have to stay and put up with this crap, there is a way out.

[Buzzardbird]

Financing problems will be sorted by solicitor.

[neverbetrickedagain]

actually the address I got show a house where the party is organised by headonism uk. but he could have easily tried this one as well.
I should have been way smarter. I did pick up on selfishness (it was easier to deal with it before kids) and womanising (but he was single at the time and we were in a casual relationship at the very beginning. somehow, I thought that that was behind him as he was the one who first suggested that we go steady. He wanted marriage and kids as well. I didn't force him into it).

[Mildinsanity]

They would be cash payments.
People dont have to join in but guys tend to go in the mind to have sex, most dont get much chance because theres usually quite a few there in the hope to get lucky so the ratios means they may not have had oppotunity.
Ourplaceforfun is usually about 20 men to 5 couples for an idea.
You also have Le Boudiour and Limelight Swingers in london.
Le Boudiour may take card payments.
Limelight have working girls and is cash only... if he has been there with the intention to have sex he would have had the chance.

[adora1]

Love your username OP, let it be true!

He wants his cake OP, the family set up but sex on the side with fuck knows who.

He simply is nowhere good enough to be your partner whatsoever.

[Room101isWhereIUsedToLive]

Any club I've ever been to, takes details of who you are and issues you with a membership card.

[neverbetrickedagain]

Thanks Mildinsanity! Do you know about Headonism uk? They have a venue in Alexandra Palace where he went and their website says card payments only but I thought they would take turn someone down if he showed up cash in hand. Their website also says that you need to join in and that's how you get access to addresses of the venues.
Thanks adora1! I just wanted peaceful family life but didn't get that. Hopefully I manage to have one on my own with kids. He is a proper mill around my neck.
Thanks Room101! I haven't found any card but then he wouldn't keep it around so I can find it. But I'll be aware of it just in case.

[neverbetrickedagain]

wouldn't turn someone down
sorry for mistake

[DavidMather]

Bold: BlueFolly - Let me educate you a little. Entrance into any swingers/sex party doesn't guarantee any sex. Lots of men go and are happy to be voyeurs and it does happen. Despite what you think it isn't one massive heaving pile of bodies shagging. Being a single man also leaves you in the majority so you need to bring something pretty special to the party. Maybe lack of sex during pregnancy led him to watch porn and the plastic porn wasn't his thing and he preferred amateur and real life people doing it. Its then a smallish jump to getting to a place where real people are really having sex.

[DavidMather]

neverbetrickedagain The Sutton venue has parties organized by lots of different groups. There is also a place in Alexandra Palace called Our Place For Fun. If you want to really torture yourself suggest you get a profile on Fabswingers and research to your hearts content.

[neverbetrickedagain]

DavidMather, you got it right - he does prefer amateur porn to plastic porn. However, I fail to see the "smallishness" of the step from the computer to the club. Esp. since you need to cash out at least 100 pounds for membership and admission. not the mention condoms, viagra and sex toys (he looked into getting all those - and I'm sure he got them eventually).

[adora1]

And they say porn is harmless.

[neverbetrickedagain]

also, there are things that appeal to me sexually and they do not include my husband, but it never occurred to me to go trying them out behind his back.

[DavidMather]

neverbetrickedagain I appreciate the fact it isn't a small step as far as you're concerned but as far as male sexuality is concerned its similar to reading porn mags and then going to a strip pub to see the real thing. Costs are not £100 - OP4F charges £20 to get in on a Sunday night. As for the other bits and pieces as a voyeur would he really need them?

[Mildinsanity]

Neverbetrickedagain not been to hedonism they hold events at different venues, if they only take card then there is every chance he would be turned down on the door without prebooking, a lot of clubs have this rule for security, prebooking is a requirement at many places so they can have ID details for safety.

[neverbetrickedagain]

oh, he didn't go all the way to Sutton for voyeurism only! I'm well aware of that.

[neverbetrickedagain]

Thanks Mildinsanity!
DavidMather, I find it hard to see my brother making that smallish step as well as some other man I know.