ashamed

[sjs85]

I am looking for advice, I have been seeing a man for a couple of months, I haven't introduced him to my son who's 8, I was going to wait a long time before introducing him if it was going to be a long term relationship. My son's father isn't around and I have found out I'm pregnant. The man I am seeing doesn't want the baby, it was an accident but I want to keep the baby. I told my mum and she isn't speaking to me now, she said it's embarrassing and everyone will be ashamed of me and I'm very selfish having two children with no father around. I don't want to have an abortion as I know I can cope and the baby would be very much loved by me and their older brother. My mum says she can't face telling anyone as its really bad. What would you do?

suddenly having a different view means I'm a hater. Hater of what exactly?
I did not say you were a hater. I was describing what I would do if my daughter got pregnant and other people (obviously not you?! Even in this imaginary situation you would be unlikely to meet her) made hateful comments to her. A "hater", in the modern parlance, is a person who makes nasty comments. As in "haters gonna hate".

I could understand why OP's mum might be disappointed, too, that OP doesn't have a nicer partner - we all want a nice dad for our kids. I can even imagine severe disappointment making me say something angry and nasty which I later regretted. But this:

I told my mum and she isn't speaking to me now, she said it's embarrassing and everyone will be ashamed of me and I'm very selfish having two children with no father around.

And this:

She was so embarrassed when I had my son as I was only young but I did it all on my own even giving birth on my own and my dad picked me up from the hospital and didn't come in to see me in and I was terrified with a new born

... I can't understand that. That is not my idea of a disappointed but loving, concerned mum wanting the best for her daughter.