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Original poster

Facebook issues

29 replies

Numbkinnuts · 16/08/2016 20:06

My DH and I both have FB accounts. Had mine for years , DH not so long. It's a bit of a standing joke that he refuses to have me as a friend on FB which I don't really mind. However what I do object to is he is always getting onto one of my devices or asking for my FB log in.

I have nothing to hid but it's a bit like your DH sitting next to you on a girls night out listening to your conversations. I am friends with people on FB that I have known for 30 yrs well before we met and we talk about things which don't concern him. Also it will show my messenger conversations.

I am just getting a little bit pissed off about this intrusion into my privacy when I don't ask about his.

He has no reason to think I am unfaithful - I am not BTW. How do I deal with this ?

OP posts:
WamBamThankYouMaam · 16/08/2016 20:16

Say no.

Vvlgari · 16/08/2016 20:20

Yep, just refuse.

LewisAndClark · 16/08/2016 20:20

God that's awful.

I spend my LIFE on FB. Dh is on there but not very interested. We're obviously FB friends because, well, that's NORMAL.

But there's no way he'd ever read my conversations. That's hideous behaviour.

LewisAndClark · 16/08/2016 20:20

Change your password and log out every time.

Original poster
Numbkinnuts · 16/08/2016 20:23

Constantly changing my password.

OP posts:
TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 16/08/2016 20:24

what happens if you refuse his request?

Scarydinosaurs · 16/08/2016 20:26

Don't you ever ask him why he wants it?

TellMeSomethingNew · 16/08/2016 20:28

Asking to have a quick look once if you're going through some bad insecurity - sure. Going behind your back and looking or asking to see constantly - WTF

Buzzardbird · 16/08/2016 20:28

Why do you allow it?

veryproudvolleyballmum · 16/08/2016 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cabrinha · 16/08/2016 20:30

Why do you allow him to?

guineapig1 · 16/08/2016 20:32

Yep, just refuse. If he gets shirty ask him to reciprocate and for his login and see how he likes that. Him not being willing to have you as a friend is odd imo and would make me a bit uncomfortable.

HuskyLover1 · 16/08/2016 20:36

WTF, why won't he be friends with you on FB? Surely you should be linked up as "in a relationship". The fact that he doesn't want to show that he is in a relationship with you, plus suspects you of dodgy dealings on FB, seems a bit projecting to me. In other words, what is HE up to on FB?

Forgettheworld · 16/08/2016 21:35

My brother won't follow me on Twitter I thought that was strange! Call me paranoid but I'd be worried what he was looking at talking about if he won't be Facebook friends with you. If he asks again say yes as long as you look at his

Jaynebxl · 16/08/2016 21:39

He won't be your friend on fb? That alone would ring warning bells. What is he hiding? And why does he want to pry into your fb? Dh and I are friends and always tagging each other in pics and posts. I know all his passwords and he knows mine. If I wanted to I could log in and check his fb but I don't need to as I can see his fb anyway, what with being friends. I wouldn't care if he logged in to mine... he'd die of boredom though.

Original poster
Numbkinnuts · 16/08/2016 21:54

I ve not refused but will do. Thanks all.

He is likely to get shirty but I'll have to deal with that .

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 16/08/2016 22:00

Why don't you get shirty ?

Is he the boss of you ?

OurBlanche · 16/08/2016 22:05

Have you asked him why he feels the need to log in as you and check your social media?

Say no and when he does get shirty ask him why?

Have you asked for his and gone and logged on as him? Why not?

bloodyteenagers · 16/08/2016 22:10

I'd tell him no. He's not my dad.
Tough shit he gets shirty, he would be told to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.

Funko · 16/08/2016 22:13

I hate to say this but (bitter experience)
Called 'the mirror' or 'projecting'

Paranoid about what you're doing... Not because of what you're actually doing but more because of what HE is doing that he doesn't want you to know about

Accusations of messaging other people (he's doing it)
Suspicious behaviour on Facebook (he's doing it that's why he doesn't want to be FB friends)
You're having an affair (he's is or was or thinking about it)

Keep an eye on it!!

AnyFucker · 16/08/2016 22:14

Agree with funko

He is dodgy as fuck

Scarydinosaurs · 16/08/2016 22:24

Sorry to repeat- but if you asked him why, what would he say??

Surely that is the most normal response to being asked your log in? Why on earth would he need it?

acatcalledjohn · 16/08/2016 22:38

Just ask him for his login to see what his response is like. If all defensive/aggressive then run for the hills and consider it a lucky escape.

Cabrinha · 17/08/2016 07:28

Why has it taken a bunch of strangers on the internet telling you that you can say no, for you to decide to do that? When it's the obvious normal answer.

That suggests a totally fucked up dynamic in your relationship and makes me wonder what other shit you're going along with.

magicstar1 · 17/08/2016 07:32

Next time say "sure...you give me yours and I'll give you mine" Let him see what it's like. You'll tell a lot from his reaction.

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