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Original poster

Ever felt an intense and purely sexual attraction towards a stranger? Chemistry/pheromones? (Agh - my new postman!)

64 replies

MissPronounced · 15/08/2016 14:47

I'm 29, casually dating since the end of a long-term relationship. A few sexual partners in the past, and never any complaints. If you'd asked me if I'd been very sexually attracted to my previous partners, I'd have said a definite yes.

But out of absolutely nowhere I've developed an intense sexual attraction to my postman, and I've never felt anything like it before. He's been delivering here for about a month and I've spotted him a few times, but until recently hadn't been face to face with him. He's physically nothing like I usually find attractive, and I wouldn't have given him a second thought really. This changed two weekends ago when he delivered a parcel. He leant over to stroke my cat, quite close to me and BAM, I was overcome with this urge to jump his bones.

I'm working from home today and had another delivery. Again, the same thing happened and although I still can't say I find him physically attractive, he literally made my knees weak. I just want to have sex with him more than I've ever wanted to have sex with anybody, and I have no idea why. I can hardly stop thinking about him.

I need help! It must be something chemical, right?! Pheromones? Are they a myth? How do I stop thinking about him? I feel weird and embarrassed - part giddy teen, part sex fiend (if only in my head).

Please distract me and tell me your experiences of similarly unexpected, intense sexual attraction - and please don't tell me you acted on the attraction and found the sex to be every bit as mind-blowing as you could possibly imagine

OP posts:

ApocalypseNowt · 16/08/2016 21:27

I've had this once or twice. Had one a few weeks ago - he was the photographer at an acquaintance's wedding (I was plus one to dh who knows the groom).

His shoulders were amazing. And he had floppy dark hair. Phwoar.

Hid it from dh and i'd never do anything but it made me feel all shaky.

The other time it happened...that guy had nice shoulders too.

I think I have slightly rubbishy rounded shoulders and my hormones just really want me to mate with lovely broad shouldered men to even things out.

Greenandmighty · 16/08/2016 22:58

Yes, setpoint ha ha me too with the dirty pun.... apologies to OP, but it did make me smile !
Wow, loving hearing about all these intense Bam! moments, MNetters!

ladylambkin · 17/08/2016 00:02

I had this once with someone who I really shouldn't have been with (both single but he was a lot younger) the attraction/chemistry was mutual and we were together for over a year...it was still as intense at the end but I had to let him go.

I agree though it was a really BAM moment and I'm not sure I will ever experience that again

OrsonWellsHat · 17/08/2016 00:31

I've seen it referred as fanny gallops on here
Find out if his single, if he is who knows what will happen

Resilience16 · 17/08/2016 21:26

This has happened twice to me, not acted on either but on both occasions the gusset spontaneously dropped out of my drawers.
First time , I'd gone to enquire about voluntary work. The guy in charge was so not my type, looked like Bill Bailey after a hard night but his pheromones made me go cross eyed. It was bewildering intense and so unexpected!
Second time I'd gone to view a house. Son of the owner, ordinary looking lad, maybe late teens early twenties, was sat on the sofa minding his own business and again it was like it was like I'd been hit on the head with a frying pan. I remember I was totally distracted for the rest of the viewing , his mum was wittering on about the south facing garden and I was wondering if I could just go over and sniff him.
Human catnip is the only way to describe it.

user1469524241 · 18/08/2016 11:48

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago and I was almost floored by the strength of it. I am very happily married and still in the loved up honeymoon phase with my husband, yet I suddenly developed an almost overwhelming desire for the handyman at work. I mean the sexual tension in the air was so intense I felt like I was in a fog and was desperate to have him right there and then. (Would never have acted on it, he is married too and 20 years older than me!) Thinking about it i realised that this urge coincided with my first ovulation in 12 years after stopping hormonal contraception. Clearly my body wants his genes for my babies! I'm happy to say that the urge has passed now but its crazy what our hormones can do to us!

Justaboy · 19/08/2016 18:53

user1469524241 Humm.. Smell then all this stuff or some sort of Aura or force field. Never had it happen myself but there is a man i know who has this really distinctive smell seems to get a lot of attention from the female of the species;!

Jammy sod:-(.

sophiestew · 19/08/2016 20:07

How interesting! I have also felt this quite a few times and have also lived in quite a few different countries around the world, so maybe there is a link as a PP said?

Once it was with my postman!!! Once I had shagged him a few times I got it out of my system though.

Currently feeling it for my boss, and I know it's mutual. Slightly awkward but we both deal with it professionally and it's all fine

I quite like it though, that amazing zing of immediate physical attraction. I have to admit that when I have felt it that strongly, it has always been mutual ( and I'm not stunning!)

galaxygirl45 · 19/08/2016 21:08

I've been married for 23 years, some of it happy some not so but I've never felt the urge to go off elsewhere. We had a man here a few months ago that came to do an energy efficiency survey and sort out insulating the loft. He arrived at 9am, and within minutes we were chatting like we'd known each other for life. We had so much in common, even the same breed of dog and he was still sat here drinking tea at 2pm. I nearly cried when he left, it was such a strong overwhelming attraction.
I like to think that sometimes people come into our lives like this to remind us we're still alive!! And there's a funny relief about feeling such intense chemistry but knowing you don't have to do anything about it, if that makes sense.

SickInBedOnTwoChairs · 19/08/2016 21:19

Ya gotta stop sending all those parcels to yourself OP. Must be costing a fortune

Believeitornot · 19/08/2016 21:20

Yes but only when ovulating. It kind of wanes during the rest of my cycle but when my eggs are making an appearance, I literally have to close my legs and walk the other way obviously I exaggerate

This is with someone I worked with. I moved teams to try and get away from them as I'm married.

FayaMAMA · 19/08/2016 21:30

Yohan Blake (the Jamaican sprinter). It's not a crush. He is far from my usual type but when I see him on the TV I just go weak and squirmy and literally salivate over him. I saw him in the flesh in 2012 in London and since then I've been more than a little obsessed. If I hadn't been v pregnant at the time I would have pounced on him. I swear there is a connection albeit totally one sided I'm drooling at the thought of his sweat and his lips and his shoulders and his facial expressions make me want to leap through my television and....you get the picture.

RaspberryOverload · 19/08/2016 21:41

I've just remembered another. DD's piano teacher when she was a lot younger. Certainly my "type" and I was trying to hide a pretty obvious attraction. What killed it, stone dead, was seeing him dressed in a coat that screamed "Grandad" when he was only 24-25 ish. In fact most of his wardrobe was more suited to a much older person, quite weird.

Beelzebop · 19/08/2016 22:04

I would be very interested to know if you had changed any meds recently or which day of your cycle you are on. Only because I had been on the pill a long time, came off and I can tell when I'm ovulating as I become er rampant!

ThisIsTheRightTime · 19/08/2016 22:14

As some on another thread know well I've been going through the same thing with my much younger car mechanic. Way back in March, after knowing him professionally for over a year (since my husband upped and left me) I was talking to the owner's wife, he came into the office behind me, I turned round to say hello and WHAM, BANG he gave me one of those looks which you never forget. And since then we've been playing this circling-around-each-other kind of dance. The static between us is unbelievable at times, other times he manages to stay professional and serious and I can appear nonchalant but its tangible, you know?

Both neither of us is brave enough to do anything about it. I'm a client, older...

There have been times when I could have howled with frustration...

ThisIsTheRightTime · 19/08/2016 22:16

And yes, I'm so electric my car is playing up more often than not so return to seem him I must...although the garage is closed for a month (here in France virtually everything grinds to a halt in August, except bars and restaurants).

Heaven help us...

Enjoyingtheattention · 19/08/2016 22:19

'I like to think that sometimes people come into our lives like this to remind us we're still alive!!'

..couldn't agrre more galaxygirl45!

Justaboy · 20/08/2016 11:45

sophiestew Hey!, What's all this fascination with postmen then?

When i were a lad etc, it were 't milkman who made the laddies swoon;!.

Wonder where they've gone?, you don't see that many around these days.

thymeandtyde · 20/08/2016 12:40

Yes, some people have that effect. Had it once when I was 19. Saw him sat at the bar, just from behind & I knew, right there, that I had to have him. Then he turned round & It was like I had been hit. He said that he felt the same about me! 20 years later he still makes me feel like a giddy teenager.

thymeandtyde · 20/08/2016 12:45

Oh just remembered! Despite being v happy with my OH, my friend's boss has this effect on me. Proper knicker-dropping gorgeous. He's a complete arse but he would so get it. Can't even talk to him, I actually blush & can't remember my name!

breezybeach · 20/08/2016 13:10

I had this with the gp I had at the time I was pregnant with Ds nearly 10 years ago. Handsome in a rugged way but certainly not film star stuff , posh, slightly "bumbling "

I only saw him 3 or 4 times . But I had a feeling it was mutual ! I do recognise that

pregnancy hormones probably at play there
I am flattering myself
May have been in my head and he was just protective as my marriage was unstable and it possibly showed as I wept when I first heard the heartbeat

After I had Ds he rang me to see how I was and when I had an appointment with another gp at the practice ( I booked with another purposefully ) he stuck his head in to see the baby .

I just wanted him to kiss me so so so bad and I wanted to take his shirt off . I remember staring at the buttons of his shirt and literally sitting on my hands as a precaution .
I would fantasise about him a lot as I pushed that pram around

When we moved out of the area when Ds was 6 months I felt wistful about having to register at a new practice

EllieQ · 20/08/2016 14:43

Do you live in northern Scotland OP? My friend is a postman up there, has been single for a while, and likes cats He'd be happy if you flirted with him!

Chelsea26 · 20/08/2016 15:04

I have had it a few times but the main was a guy I had known for nearly 10 years before I was old enough/we were both single at the same time/finally got the guts and it was amazing. I ended up seeing him for about a year but it could not be...

We both used to go to football and I swear I could feel him enter a 45,000 seater stadium and turn to his stand and pick him out of thousands immediately from the other side of the ground.

I don't think he goes anymore as I reckon it would still happen...

pineappleeyes · 20/08/2016 21:51

I had this with a guy I used to work with. We were in our 20s and he later became my boss. I left a few months after and on my leaving do we had a snog and said we'd keep in touch. We did. And we had one amazing shag. My heart raced throughout and I was exhausted before we'd even started. The emotional & physical attraction we'd had for years just exploded. Hes married now. And I'm a single mum! I look back and it and smile!!

di2004 · 21/08/2016 00:08

Loveinasuitcase:
I have never laughed so much, this is so funny lol... and all the time I'm just wondering if you managed to get rid of the mice.

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