Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Facebook profile picture - what would you think?

75 replies

faffalotty · 13/08/2016 12:36

Just after some opinions on a situation.

Scenario - woman on Facebook, profile pics and cover photos are always just her or her and her kids. She then changes her profile picture to a smiling selfie of her and a man. What would you think?

From another perspective - you know the man in the photo and know he's separating from his wife. What would you think then?

OP posts:

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 13/08/2016 18:38

I have, but he was my dance partner.

If it had been at the time it was taken I would say she just thought it was a very nice picture of her, and didn't want to crop him out of it (especially if they were at the end of a race or something), but so much later I would think they were a couple.

Original poster

faffalotty · 13/08/2016 23:36

Thank you to everyone for confirming what I thought. I did wonder if there would be replies saying that plenty of people have innocent joint profile pics

Should be moved out quite soon, to new house. Emotions are still all over the place. Try hard to be positive but a lot of the time just feel overwhelming sadness and sense of loss. Haven't told the kids the full story as I don't want them to feel let down too.

I can't see him having a serious relationship with this woman ( I don't know what it has been so far). She has much younger kids ( she is younger too, not surprisingly) and I can't see him being interested in getting involved with them.

OP posts:

Alliswellihope43 · 13/08/2016 23:40

Kick him out
He can stay at OW house if he's going to disrespect you like that

Original poster

faffalotty · 14/08/2016 09:06

As far as I know he's never stayed there. I really don't understand what the situation is with them. He still claims they're not a couple and says he'll get her to take the photo down.

This latest episode has sent me downhill again. Awake early and can't stop crying. I'm sure others who've experienced this can relate. Overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness and life seeming too painful.

OP posts:

CharlesBakerHarris · 14/08/2016 09:11

I would probably block her on Facebook, so you can't torture yourself by checking her profile.

Original poster

faffalotty · 14/08/2016 09:26

I know I probably should. I first accidentally saw something suspicious online in January. I developed somewhat obsessive behaviours of checking and searching for more evidence. After he admitted the affair from 5 years ago the focus moved away from the recent goings on. but it now feels like I'm going back to how I was before. I can't really explain it. Why I can't just block and avoid.

OP posts:

Original poster

faffalotty · 14/08/2016 09:30

And each discovery reactivates all the emotions again. I'm on a horrible ride and can't get off.

OP posts:

winkywinkola · 14/08/2016 09:31

She's spraying her territory like a tomcat.

Silly cow. Let her have him. And chuck him out.

ivykaty44 · 14/08/2016 10:14

I wonder if she knows he has denied their relationship?

You do need to block this person on fb for your own self preservation.

Betrayal hurts, stop trying to piece the buts together and concentrate instead on rebuilding your life.

fastdaytears · 14/08/2016 10:19

GBFs on my profile picture. But this isn't that.

If you're selling the house and he's only there part time then why haven't you told the children? They must be suspicious.

Original poster

faffalotty · 14/08/2016 10:31

They obviously know we're separating and that he is staying at friends houses. We just haven't told them the details. They haven't asked. They accept that we just don't get on and will be happier apart.

OP posts:

Original poster

faffalotty · 14/08/2016 10:37

I've blocked her. Will need willpower not to unblock

OP posts:

theclick · 14/08/2016 10:39

Yes I would automatically think there was something going on BUT check her photos to see if there really was, as you never know. In this case given what you've told us, there is.

Original poster

faffalotty · 14/08/2016 10:41

The only photos I could see were profile and cover pics.

OP posts:

i8sum314 · 14/08/2016 10:42

Good move blocking her. Chances are 3/4s of the pantomime was for your benefit so you've taken her power to rub salt in your wounds

talesofthevillage · 14/08/2016 10:42

Faffalotty I am in a similar situation. Everything whirring round your head and there is no escape from any of it. It is exhausting I know. Try to accept the things you know. Madness lies in digging all the time. Have you got RL support?

notamummy10 · 14/08/2016 10:45

Either it's the start of a new relationship or they're getting close with the possible direction of a relationship. But they could be just friends.

Original poster

faffalotty · 14/08/2016 10:56

tales sorry to hear you're going through a similar thing

I do have a problem with obsessive behaviour when anxious. Not as extreme as ocd but it is an annoying trait.

I've not really got much rl support. 1 friend who I can sometimes talk to but no one very close. I am seeing a counsellor

OP posts:

BarbaraRoberts · 14/08/2016 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel · 14/08/2016 11:20

Do people not have profile pics of them with their partner later on in relationships? Is it only the start of a relationship that people do this?

Original poster

faffalotty · 14/08/2016 12:27

I've got long-married friends who sometimes have their partner on their pic. Usually after a holiday or an occasion when they've got dressed up

OP posts:

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 14/08/2016 12:36

Well done for blocking her, I can understand how huge that is to do.

It must be hard to see that photo but try to take heart from the fact that this proves that he is not worthy of you and that this divorce is absolutely the right thing to do.
and at least you are not her. I echo the pp who said how deeply sad it is to be publicising a relationship with a man who still lives with his wife.

Horehound · 14/08/2016 12:37

He has so been staying with her. Dont be naive. Kick him out. No more crashing if he has no where to go. He can get a hotel

MewlingQuim · 14/08/2016 12:39

Chuck him out. He is taking the piss.

Original poster

faffalotty · 14/08/2016 12:51

Just spotted your message BR - hope you're doing well

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3