2 weeks of dating, he dropped the 'L bomb'

[backonthebikeagain]

How do I let him down gently and end it?? We havent even dtd yet!! He is lovely but has never been in a long term relationship. This has just freaked me out and really put me off. We've seen each other 3 times in the last 2 weeks.

I have said a few times can we just see what happens.

You may have a crying man on your hands otherwise

OP I'm keen to hear your secrets of attraction also. PM?

Same thing happened to me after a few weeks. We were fairly smitten. Married 9 years this year

That's lovely Loki, congrats.

But it's different if you're not sure if the person saying it to you is love material. Which I'd say is very common at this stage. How could he know? His heart isn't on his sleeve, its swinging round his ankles

Unless you're 12 then no you can't do it by text!

3 dates before the guy I was dating said it. 17 years and 2 children later...

I agree though op. In your situation, it's time to say goodbye.

After 2 weeks and 3 dates of course you can do it by text
All you posters saying you did it and are married 10 years stop it! Op doesn't love him or even like him much so it's irrelevant. And without meaning to be rude just because you all ignored this obvious red flag doesn't mean it's good advice

I don't say anything when he says it!! I fear I may have a crying man in my hands if I do it in person :(

Rosie - I don't think I've done anything!! He just really really wants someone. He's on dating sites and a lot of them I think! He's 36 btw.

By date 2 we were discussing the actual decor of our house! It was crazy but it worked.

But you obviously don't want to be doing that so yes, text and forget. It's no big deal.

Oh hang on, didn't spot the red flag crap in the post above. Probably because that's crap.

Oh for flip 's sake just laugh and say "are you trying to scare me off?" ... Someone needs to tell the poor bloke what he's been doing wrong!

Eeep

You're not 12, no, and I rarely recommend this, but yes you can do it by text.

Tbh I wouldn't be surprised if he's got another 5 'loves' on the go. In my experience it's the ott 'charmers' (bleh) that can't stick to 1. They 'love ' everyone

Hmmmm

A man and I said I love you at 3 weeks and eventually ended up - married happily with a kid a pet a lovely house the works

Another man and woman did the same and ended up - married with three grown up kids one of whom is said man above I am with.

Then again if its unreciprocated let it go. Just that there aren't really strict rules for this sort of things that always apply

I agree with MoosLikeJagger.

Dumping by text is maximum dignity retention for dumped party.

Meeting up - he may have to rearrange plans to meet you, he'll be looking forward to it, then he'll be in a public place and have to come up with something to say straight away.

And it's hardly DUMPING anyway. You've been on 3 dates, You're not a couple. It's just letting them know there will be no more dates.

He's never had a long term relationship, doesn't sound like a womanising charmer to me, more like someone who has no clue that his desperation is scaring people off!

I went on three dates with a man. By date three he was planning our future. I called him to finish it and he gave me such a hard time. For that reason I would say text.

3 weeks in for us and my stomach did somersaults when he said it - been together 24 years now and very happy so it is not always wrong! However, the fact that you feel as you do about it suggests this is not at all right for you. I'd text if I were you.

Mephisto, quite apart from you not getting to decide who posts what and where, you also don't get to make sweeping generalisations.

What we are pointing out is that it isn't an obvious red flag in isolation. If you re-read, I told the op to end the involvement in her case but was merely pointing out, same as other people, that it's not the warning siren you might claim it is.

I've had guys say this. I stopped them in their tracks by saying "look, you might feel like you're falling in love with me but you don't love me. You hardly know me"

One went - "yeah. And thanks for that. There is a difference isn't there" We were together for over 3 years.

Another looked wounded. We weren't together at all after that.

Ending by text is totally acceptable. As is doing him the favour of explaining that he's being too full on and it's really off putting.

This happened to me - he told me he loved me after six days.

5 years on, he is my husband and I couldn't be happier, so it's not necessarily a red flag.

What's a red flag is:

"he told me he loved me AND I didn't like it"

It would appear that you are compatible with the sort of personality who would say "I love you" after a couple of dates. I am not. It sounds like backon is not either.

He took it quite well... He's hoping I'll change my mind though 😞

Ouch, not savage to have done it by text. If it males you feel better I broke up with a ex fiance via Facebook message! know, I know..Brutal.

Me and DP accidentally exchanged the L bomb early on, we had shagged a lot by week 3 though. I was falling asleep snuggled up and just said I love you, night , my eyes shot open when I realised and I just said to myself "go to sleep, he might not have heard it" when I woke up he laughed and said " you said "I love you" I just went yes sorry sleepy mistake haha

By text I mean fb message!! We hadn't even exchanged phone numbers!!!

Now dh told me he loved me pretty early on. The crucial thing was we'd been friends for a while before our first proper date and I felt strongly towards him too

backonthebik welcome to the club (hug) haha he will get over it, he might find a equally needy female and they will live happily ever after.