Sick of his behaviour now

[Sarah1087]

Me and my DP have had lots of ups and downs to over come.

Throughout this year his crazy ex has been saying she is sleeping with him still, its taken me a while to over come this. I gave her opportunity to show me proof which she claimed to have. But she never was able to show me this.

He denied everything until he was blue in the face which I expected anyway.
Basically expects me to forget this.

We decided to try for a baby 3 months ago nothing has come of this and I'm starting to praise my blessings it hasn't.

He has a 10year old boy from this lady who I love to peices but he modicodules him. When he's on nights this boy is getting in bed with me due to him being scared or feeling sick etc. Told DP I'm not comfortable with this, he's at that age where puberty is starting! The weather has been so hot I'm sleeping in a nightie he said he agreed. Yet every night his son is coming in and getting in bed with us.
Am I in wrong in thinking this is too old ? He should be able to comfort himself back to sleep at that age ? I've expressed how I feel to get nothing back.

Top things off this week. I've had an operation on my leg, I basically cannot walk for a week due to it being so sore. He's been working which is fine. But today after work he's had a fiddle job on. ( I know it was a fiddle job nothing suspicious )
But he decided to take this on himself today. Even though he knows I cannot make myself something to eat or drink. My mum has had to pop round. Then he asked if I wanted to go shopping to get out of the house.. Well s*it hit the fan I was fuming I cannot bleeding walk.. His excuse were he thought id want to get out of the house and I could've sit in the car... Omg!!!!
He ended up coming back in at 4pm from 5am this morning.

We were also on holiday last week with his son, and we put two on everything yet I spent around £75 on his son ( got no thanks for it ) and he didn't once buy me anything to eat. I just think this his awful behaviour from someone who says he loves me after everything I've had to deal with.

I've told him tonight I am not going to be his glorified babysitter anymore.

I really need to rant!!! Lol sorry.
Surely any woman taking all this in deserves to be put first especially being ill by the guy who claims to be in love with her ??

Thanks so much girls. All my belongings have gone phew!! And I posted the key.. Feel like a weights been lifted now that I no longer have to feel paranoid. And I have also had a good word with myself with letting someone treat me that way in the first place. Think I need to find my confidence and self worth now.

Me and my sister in law did some snooping before we left debt management letters were found, he's not been paying any gas, electric and water, he's in around 8k worth of debt. From previous addresses. He also has a warrant issued to search his previous property!! And he also was summond to court 2 days before we went on holiday together!!! Jesus I know I've had a lucky escape and thank my blessings we didn't get pregnant, bringing a baby up when the fathers going to have to be made bankrupt! Well I've no sympathy for the guy anymore he deserves everything that will come to him. Some role model he is to his son! Also wonder why his son does have nightmares and he's frightened to sleep alone with two dysfunctional parents that he has.

But I just want to say thank you all so much it's helped me being on here and ranting and hearing your kind words. Xx

And no I've never cheated on him. I just bit back and retaliated xx

The snooping was unnecessary and out of order but I suppose if it's an extra help not to get back with him it has served a purpose for you... But you really should be able to decide not to be with a man because he treats you badly - not because he has debts.

And yes, poor child still wanting reassurance at night. Which is why some of us said that it wasn't mollycoddling.

I know it was wrong!
He's now back on fb, deleted all our photos and put himself As single. Didn't expect that and it has hurt me. I know I'm just going through the pining emotions now. Something tells me there was defiantly someone else x

Well - he is single.
Because you were too sensible to put up with his shit.
Now block him! You should not be looking at him on Facebook.

I know chick.
Thank you for your replys I really do appreciate it. I've moved everything back in my house, and I'm sat with a baileys and my feet up :) weird to be alone but hey loads of people worse off than me!

Daft as it sounds I've Been reading up online about narcissist and sociopaths! And he is everything I've read.

Also I need your advise on something.
The phone contract I have now is in his name, when he was due his upgrade my phone broke, the same time he was cheating on me! Anyway he's got the phone out in his name and given the phone to me!
He's obviously been paying his phone bill to get another phone etc.

He quoted too " you'll have to stay with me for two more years now " I've been so bloody stupid it's laughable.
And the reason I didn't get an upgrade on mine is the fact is have had to pay a excess which I couldn't afford at the time.

He got his next phone through his mum getting him the contact out!

Anyway I offered to give him this back months ago so he didn't have to ask his mum to get a contract out, and then I'd have been able to renew my own contract. Happy days!! Obviously didn't happen.

Anyway I text him last night telling him I'd swapped to licence I pay for back to my house, so he'd need to sort it.
He replied saying ok l, we need to sort your mobile phone too at end of month!!

I've been transferring the money into his account every month when the bill is due. I've asked him before we split up to contact them whilst we're both there so it can be transferred into my name. He never has.

My brother said to contact the network see if they can allow it over phone. My friend said he's doing it to keep a conversation going.

I just don't see why he cannot ring the network up explain situation and transfer it. I have good credit so it wouldn't be a problem. Xx

You've got 2 options as I see it.

1. You tell him he's getting the phone back, and you're taking out your own contract. Not your phone, not your problem. No arguments. Just make sure you get your new phone first and text all your contacts your new number, so that they don't accidentally send messages to him! You can do this by sticking it through his door on the last day of the month, with a note saying "let me know bill for this month".

1. If you think he'll be left with a contract he doesn't need, and you're feeling kind, you can offer to take it on. But only do this if it can be transferred. Do not keep the tie of paying him for it. You could first call them to find out if a transfer is even possible. If it is, tell him once that he has this option and it must be by the end of the month. Then if he hasn't done it, it's phone in a bag through his door time.

You can just walk away from this.
No your phone.
Not your boyfriend.
Not your problem!

That's brilliant advise.
Thank you so much. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.
Thank you xx

Aw, that's a lovely thing to say - thank you
Good luck with it all!

Thank you chick.
I'll keep you posted xx

You're not 17 are you?

Why would I be 17 ?
Still no contact and I have seemed to have hit rock bottom. I'm back at work but this has affected me terribly. Luckily I have amazing friends and family cx

Keep leaning on your family and friends - they want to help you.
Could you get some counselling?
This might help you understand things a bit better.

I've been to the doctors today and poured my heart out. Everything has gotten to me, and mourning my dad again who I lost 11 years ago. They've advised me to see how I go on and it I'm not coping they will give me some antidepressants. I'd rather not take anything though and fight this myself. Xx