Sick of his behaviour now

[Sarah1087]

Me and my DP have had lots of ups and downs to over come.

Throughout this year his crazy ex has been saying she is sleeping with him still, its taken me a while to over come this. I gave her opportunity to show me proof which she claimed to have. But she never was able to show me this.

He denied everything until he was blue in the face which I expected anyway.
Basically expects me to forget this.

We decided to try for a baby 3 months ago nothing has come of this and I'm starting to praise my blessings it hasn't.

He has a 10year old boy from this lady who I love to peices but he modicodules him. When he's on nights this boy is getting in bed with me due to him being scared or feeling sick etc. Told DP I'm not comfortable with this, he's at that age where puberty is starting! The weather has been so hot I'm sleeping in a nightie he said he agreed. Yet every night his son is coming in and getting in bed with us.
Am I in wrong in thinking this is too old ? He should be able to comfort himself back to sleep at that age ? I've expressed how I feel to get nothing back.

Top things off this week. I've had an operation on my leg, I basically cannot walk for a week due to it being so sore. He's been working which is fine. But today after work he's had a fiddle job on. ( I know it was a fiddle job nothing suspicious )
But he decided to take this on himself today. Even though he knows I cannot make myself something to eat or drink. My mum has had to pop round. Then he asked if I wanted to go shopping to get out of the house.. Well s*it hit the fan I was fuming I cannot bleeding walk.. His excuse were he thought id want to get out of the house and I could've sit in the car... Omg!!!!
He ended up coming back in at 4pm from 5am this morning.

We were also on holiday last week with his son, and we put two on everything yet I spent around £75 on his son ( got no thanks for it ) and he didn't once buy me anything to eat. I just think this his awful behaviour from someone who says he loves me after everything I've had to deal with.

I've told him tonight I am not going to be his glorified babysitter anymore.

I really need to rant!!! Lol sorry.
Surely any woman taking all this in deserves to be put first especially being ill by the guy who claims to be in love with her ??

Happy Birthday, the rest of your life awaits...enjoy!

You don't know it yet, but you've just given yourself an amazing birthday present. You'll look back in years to come and realise that. Well done.

Happy birthday to you.

This guy isn't worth it. He's meant to treat you fantastic while you're ill, but he doesn't care.

Dump him and get yourself a better BF, who will appreciate you.

It's his child and he should pay the lion's share of those expenses.

I'm confused. You claim to love the son to bits but seem to resent him, too? An insecure child will behave much younger at night and yes,mcoming into bed at that age is a bit unusual but not unheard of. My ds did. The fact that he trusts you enough to do this is a compliment. If you were that uneasy couldn't you possibly wear pyjamas for those nights? And £75 in a week really isn't much although obviously it should only be given willingly and with pleasure.

So, the real issue is that this week dp has been a bit useless whilst you are laid up. Can you really not walk at all? Don't you have crutches? I'm sorry but as one who has had multiple surgeries I'm a bit puzzled that you have found it so hard to cope. The fact that he's not too sympathetic is the problems and maybe that's it. All the other stuff seems irrelevant to me really. Actually, getting you out in the car was quite a considerate offer if you were getting a bit stir crazy. Most shops and shopping centres have wheel chairs to borrow.

You seem to have decided to leave so good luck but I had to respond because so much of this seems beside the point. Only you can decide if he's a twat or just wrong for you but the examples don't necessarily point that way.

Hi Matilda
It's loads more complicated than that. I don not resent his son whatsoever. I love his son and would do anything for him. My point was a boy who is nearly 11 years old getting in bed with me was a problem. Sorry if I misinreterpetrated myself there.

Also not about money etc. But being in a relationship your partner should care for you. Yes i am on crutches but by doctors instructions I was unable to walk or put any pressure down on my leg for 48 hours!! Him working was not the problem. But not even giving a crap to offer me something to eat or a drink takes the piss. Thanks for good luck wish though..

And everyone else thank you. My family and friends have been amazing today and I've been well and truly spoilt.

As for him I had a text 4 hours ago saying. ( hope you've had a nice day )
Bear in mind I live with him and just had an operation. Not once has he cared to call to see if everything is ok or to say he had a nice birthday meal planned. Etc.. Found it hard, but I know my self worth.

Hope ur all ok and thank you again xx

Well that's really good timing about your birthday, because if you wobble you can remind yourself how little he showed he cared over that.

Even my XH (who was pretty shocking) would have started the day with a "happy birthday"
Yes, you're well rid of this one.

I'm so glad you had a good day and got spoilt.
Take things one day at a time.
How are you getting on today?

Well I 100% made the right decision. I had been admitted to hospital this morning with a suspected blood clot. My leg tripppled in size and I couldn't walk.

If it wasn't for my family and friends I don't know what I'd have done.
Anyway it wasn't but it was very scary having nurses rush round me and doctors and going in for the scan.

All he cared about was where I slept last night. I told I'd been admitted and he made no effort to come and see me. Then had the cheek to say when I said you should have rang me knowing I'd been admitted.

His reply was I cannot use my phone at work. He knew I ended up back at my brothers as he took me to hospital and he didn't even offer to come and see me. He told me I didn't want to row!! I said when I've needed you the most you have treated me terribly. Then he text saying sorry I was asleep that's why didn't reply straight away.

I am so bloody angry. I know I've done the right thing but that doesn't deter the fact I'm hurt. I also said I believe every word your ex has said.

He seems to forget that when he had a little scare this year he was at my house crying his little eyes out, and I spoke with my manager to go to hospital with him.

Pathetic little man. X

Bless you OP, a dvt is very scary. Well, hasn't he just confirmed that you made the right decision. What a waste of make-up he is. Take care, get well and heave a sigh of relief that you've got rid of this man -clot too.

What an absolute waste of space. Shocking! Huge well done on getting rid and for staying financially independent all this time. Hope your health improves very soon x

Thank you girls. I'm gutted but it's turning into anger now which is what I need. Going to be hard but I'll get there xx

Finding this so hard at the min.
I've ended up seeing him for 20 mins today.

Deep down I don't want this over but I know it's for the best!

When we was on holiday we had a row about the debt he was in with his ex which he'd not told me about.
Anyway I stupidly told him I had cheated on him. I know this was the most silly thing to say, but I said it to get to him and hurt him how I've been hurt.

Anyway I told him today that I was really hurt he wasn't there for me when I was taken to hospital and he said why the fuck should I be there, no one told me you had been admitted I should've been the first person you told. I've tried explaining that I was quite ill and worried as to wether it was a blood clot or not, but I understood he should've been made aware! But the day after I told him when he'd text me. And expressed that he hurt me by not coming to see me when he did find out.

He has then thrown in my face that I cheated on him and go f**k this other guy. Well I've broke down in front of him, stupidly asked him not to leave me. And that id said it to get a reaction which is the honest truth. Please don't judge me i know me saying that is wrong.

I just can't believe he can turn this round on me and be so nasty towards me.

I do still love him x

Having a massive wobble is totally normal. However, this guy is no good for you. Stay away from him. Absolute zero contact with him from now on. You deserve so much better than his bullshit. Time to find your anger again! You can do this

Thank you ❤️ It is helping me venting on here and listening to what you girls think. Gets you to point where you think it could be you in wrong but I know I'm not xx

Stay strong Sarah you know he is a twat, probably shagging his ex, and wanting a free babysitter. You can do so much better. Good luck with your recovery

Good luck with both your recoveries that should have said, from the bad leg and from the twat :)

Haha thank you @stickyProblem

The thoughts entered my head to about his ex. 10years older than me and balding loosing most of his hair don't know why I'm so bothered. Especially when we first met I didn't want to be with him.

Think I'll be having a Disney duvet day lol xx

Shagging his ex; in debt; wants you to be his maid and babysitter; couldn't give a shit when you were unwell. Don't mess up your life, your future. You deserve SO much better than this. You are well rid and you know it. Good luck, you've done really well and should be proud of yourself.

Thank you.

Can't wait until I have got all my things so I can delete and block.
I've just spoken to him n said what I think, n he said he still loves me but has fallen out of love with the relationship! Hurt me like mad. I don't know what I can do to make myself feel better about it all. I feel needy at the min and desperate! I know I need to give my head a wobble I'm just having a bit of a crisis xx

Literally in break down. Why do I feel this way.
I feel so shit at the min and I don't know where to start again. Got all my things in bin liners. Asked him for another chance whilst crying. Apologised for what I've said.
Before all the arguments started earlier he was telling me about all the flying ants what were conversing outside his house.
Tonight his ex has put a conversation about flying ants. On fb. This probably seems so daft towards you girls but I know something isn't right. He's been in touch with her.
I'm just having a major little crisis here

You've been ill, you've had a traumatic time, you've just broken up with him, you probably had a bit of a shitty birthday - so you probably feel a bit shit. Do NOT confuse 'feeling shit' with 'feeling shit because the break-up was the wrong decision'. I honestly have NO idea what you think you were getting from this guy. I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole.

Rattata is right - you are really not at your strongest right now. Wobbles are entirely normal. But stay away from him! So what if he had been in touch with his ex? She's welcome to him. He's a scumbag. No more begging OP. Cry and offload with people who will be there for you, but stay far away from him

Thanks girls I'm feeling bit better today and starting to move things back into mine.
But I did check his phone this morning and he'd changed his password. He gave me password straight away! But he had rang his ex at 00:15 this morning. 4 min phone call. His excuse were to sort times out with his son. Bullshit I hate him now and believe everything his ex had said. Getting rest of my belongings later when he's at work posting the key and trying to move on. He is not a man he's a serial cheat who has led me up the garden path and had best of both worlds.! I said to him just get back with her to save the next girl all the heartache of your bullshit lies. Whilst I've not been able to eat, sleep and concentrate he's ringing her. Vile absolutely vile. Cx

Yep, he's vile.
Just hold onto that and hold onto the anger.
He's not worth your tears or your headspace but it will take time to get over this.
Be kind to yourself.
Keep yourself hydrated and sugar levels up!
Lean on your friends and family and try to keep as busy as you can with your current injuries.
It won't be easy and you won't be over this tomorrow or next week.
Take things one day at a time.
You'll get there. You really will.
It won't seem like it now but believe all of us who have been there.
It does get better. Time is what you need.

So you didn't actually cheat on him, you lied that you had to get at him?

Whether you cheated or not, you're well rid.

You need to rest, physically and mentally now.

He sounds like an arsehole and the entire relationship sounded like a car crash. Please do some work on your expectations and boundaries before dating again. 3 months ago, you were trying to get pregnant with this useless cheating tosser! Thank goodness you didn't. You need to work out why you still felt you loved someone who treated you this badly, before you date again.

Oh and block his ex on Facebook!

Hope you're all recovered from the op quickly