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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Urgently need help re domestic violence

55 replies

OreosAreTasty · 07/08/2016 14:16

Friend is in an abusive relationship.
I have known for a while. They've been together since 2010 I've known about the abuse for 7 months.
I've let her just come to me and offered support links to women's aid and other support charities and reminded her that when she's ready to leave I'll be there.
Well now I need the help of those with common sense (which is where mumsnet comes in...)
She's called me, 20 mins ago and said she wants to go today and wants my help. What do I tell her to get? She wants to go before her Dp gets home, approx 9pm tonight.
No kids.
Not married. No joint assets.
I have a spare room- I can take her in But do I take her to women's aid too? The council? Help please. She's a mess, I've never done this before and I need someone who has to point me in the right direction

OP posts:
Atenco · 08/08/2016 03:12

A lovely friend you are too. It is going to be hard for your friend to adjust, maybe people can give advice on that too, on top of all the other wonderful advice they have given. After having been so very isolated, victims can return to their abusers as they are what is most familiar.

NisekoWhistler · 08/08/2016 05:08

Well done OP you did a very admirable thing today.

NisekoWhistler · 08/08/2016 05:09

Please be cautious about updating under the same thread or username, yes we all want to hear about the successful outcome of this but abusers can be incredible clever at putting 2&2 together

Kr1stina · 08/08/2016 07:57

Good point Niseko.

whitehandledkitchenknife · 08/08/2016 08:19

Agreed Niseko.
Take good care of yourselves over the coming days. As the adrenaline rush wears off and reality kicks in over the enormity of what has been achieved, your friend may need help to not sabotage the new state of being and try to get back to a way of being that she is familiar with but not necessarily happy.

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