Harrasment from colleauge.

[workishell24]

Basically I had a short fling with a college at work and now he is making my life hell. I am a nervous wreck!!

It all finished about 2 months ago as he accused me of seeing loads of other men, as the voices in his head told him this!! I had never seen him behave like this before.

He has since continued to touch my stomach, back leg etc, of course when no others are around. The other day he told me the last time we had sex he couldn't feel a thing, today he started a conversation about "fisting" and also asked me if I would wank him.

As he is clearly not in sound mind at the moment im scared of what to say to him and im scared to report him. He keeps threatening to tell we had a fling as this could get me in trouble at work.

He walks past my house a lot and today after a conversation became quite angry, he blames me as im upsetting him so much. He will say randon things about there being pictures of me in an orgy, which I know there is no such thing. The things he comes out with are ludicrous.

If I do anything about it im in trouble and if I don't im scared of him and what he will do / say next. He is like a ticking time bomb. Please help.

[SandyY2K]

Your welcome.

[MilesHuntsWig]

I don't understand why on earth you'd be fired? Could you be getting things out of perspective here?

I think get advice from SandyY2K as she seems to know more than most. I am struggling to see why you'd lose your job though. You really need to protect yourself, he sounds very unwell.

[PeppermintPasty]

Yes, I think you are overthinking how badly your employers will react.
You are in danger from this man, from what you have told us. This is far more important and outweighs any other issues at this stage IMO. If your employers were to fire you for this, then from the facts as you've set them out here, you may have a valid grievance.

But that's something for another day. He sounds unstable. Make sure you're safe. Tell someone at work, in authority.

[tribpot]

Are you his supervisor, is that why you think you could lose your job because of the relationship? If yes, far better your employers find out from you than from him.

It sounds like he needs help, and you need protecting from him. And neither will happen whilst you stay silent.

[LadyMonicaBaddingham]

Are you in a union? They can be very helpful and can give a lot of support.

[DistanceCall]

Talk to HR and tell them that you will be calling the police. If you think you will lose your job, then don't tell them that you had a fling with him, just that he is harrassing you. Try to get some evidence (record him if possible).

And I agree with AF. If you know anyone who can intimidate him (with or without a crowbar), get him to do it. You can't live like this.

[MrsBrent]

Police, police police.
If he's as unwell as he appears, you don't know what he's thinking.
Please get the police involved, better off sacked than dead. I don't think you'll be sacked, but I really think this is police not hr you need.

[GloriaGaynor]

Please do not intimidate a man in the middle of a serious mental health episode, that's a terrible idea. Quite apart from the fact that it could get back to the police.

[Dandelion6565]

I would speak to e police and hr.

The police may help you with HR, Hr will take it more seriously if you have spoken to the police.

Good luck .

I wouldn't intimidate him or ask a friend, it may escalate. I would hide at a friends for a few days, or move someone in. Do you renT...?

[workishell11]

I have had to make this account as for some reason I couldn't access the other when I signed out.

I wont be getting anyone to have a word with him as tempting as it might be, as im not sure how he would take it, could make him much worse.

SandyY2K Would you be able to mail me back to this account please.

[SandyY2K]

Hope you received my reply OP.

General info....

Your employer has a legal obligation to protect you in this situation and in spite of company policy, they must be seen to act reasonably at all times and not proceed to dismissal just because the police says so.

Even if you act in breach of the policy, if the relationship didn't give either of you an unfair advantage, dismissing you would be a very heavy sanction.

I've known a few employees commit some form of misconduct, but it doesn't automatically mean they get dismissed.

I've a feeling it was written into the employee handbook, because it's been an issue historically within the organisation.

I asked a few questions in my reply to you .

[IreallyKNOWiamright]

Why have you told him about your holiday. Don't let him intimidate you. He sounds like a complete arse hole and likes controlling women. Please seek help before its too late.

[DPotter]

Hope everything is working out OK OP

[OutToGetYou]

I am in HR, believe me, most of us have seen this sort of thing before so just go and talk to them.

[TealLove]

Please take this very seriously. The police would and so will HR.
Good luck!

[sleepiya]

Report to Police and HR like everyone else suggested . Pls take care the guy sounds scary! Please report as soon as possible !