How do I communicate with dh to stop trying to wake me up for sex

[EveOnline2016]

I am not well atm. On antibiotics for a nasty infection as well as zapain for the pain of said infection.

Dh is working nights and gets in around 6:20 am and comes to bed while I'm sleeping and starts fondling and asking for sex.

It's getting on my nerves as finally after 10 years ds is sleeping longer and it means I can.

Wtf is he playing at.

All jokes about punching aside wasn't really joking this is grim and he is massively disrespecting you. Is he like this generally?

Yes, a punch is perfectly justifiable as self-defense against sexual assault.
There's a world of difference between asking if up for sex and fondling (assuming it means groping, but even if it's relentless touch or cuddling that's unwarranted).
Please tell me you've never woken up to him penetrating you.

True.

How vile, he is treating you much like a piece of meat, I think you really need to remind him that you are a real person with feelings, what a creep.

A rabbit punch to the gonads, should suffice

He is at best a sex pest and would be out of my bedroom and quiet possibly out of the door. He knows you are unwell and asleep. Revolting behaviour.

"Do not wake me up for sex. Especially when I'm ill. It makes you look very selfish, inconsiderate and uncaring. I don't want to be married to a man like that, so if you do it again, I'll assume you want a divorce and we can seperate. DO YOU HEAR ME DH"

Completely unacceptable. No means no and to continue is sexual assault. Show him this thread.

I would not show him the thread.

So you have told him in no uncertain terms that you do not want these advances and he just carries on doing it? What a total fucking creep. He would be out the door if I were you.

This is sexual abuse. You've told him and he's ignoring you because he believes he has sexual rights to your body even without your consent. Divorce wouldn't be disproportionate- honestly

I'm horrified OP. You've said no and he has just carried on doing it. That is called rape. Does he understand the concept of consensual sex?? LTB. He obviously doesn't have any respect for you as a person and is ignoring you when you've clearly stated that you don't want sex with him.

How does this happen?

He gets in to bed and starts... what? Kissing your neck, stroking your tummy?

You wake up and... what? Say something? Get out of bed in a huff?

Later on in the day you... what? Talk about it? Sulk with him? Ignore that it happened yet again?

Why wouldn't you leave your sick wife to recover in peace? What's wrong with him?

He starts fondling I tell him to leave me alone then try's again 5 minutes later.

I am behond angry today.

You should.

Ugh, the fact that he tries again five minutes later would make my skin crawl. I would find it hard to want to EVER have sex with a man who thinks it's OK to resume groping you even though you asked him to stop.

Because does he really think you'll have changed your mind so quickly? That you'll be so overcome by how erotic he's being and decide you want sex after all? Or is he merely hoping to wear you down?

Just because it's hard to make time for sex (like any couple with kids, ever) that doesn't mean he has the right to pester and harass you, or to ignore you when you say stop.

Having said no, i would have a follow-up conversation later and say explicitly "trying it on in the mornings is completely out". If you have already had that conversation and he keeps doing it, he would be sleeping elsewhere - and I would be considering splitting up altogether.

He sounds vile. He'd rue the day he tried that with me. Is he always like this?

He starts fondling I tell him to leave me alone then try's again 5 minutes later.

Then what do you do? It's easy for us to read this and wonder why you don't challenge him, but when it's constant and your tired and half asleep it's not so simple.

Bloody Hell. Is he asleep now? Go and pour a bucket of cold water over him!

So you've said no, he knows you don't want to, but he's harassing, hoping if he persists long enough you'll give in to him.

Pull up this Youtube video about tea/consent, make him watch it with you taking particular note of the bit about people should NOT wake up to find you pouring tea down them...

and I'd be giving him a very clear warning about divorce. You can't have a relationship with someone who has so little respect for your boundaries, your wishes and your body.

How do you communicate with dh to stop trying to wake you up for sex [against your wishes]??

You might not be able to, but the Police could.

You do not need to consent to sex, at any time, if you don't want it. Non consensual sex, even in marriage is rape.

That's not fondling love, that's assaulting. When someone touches you sexually when you have made it clear that you do not want to be touched sexually, it's assault.

Whack your head back and break his nose...seriously that would annoy the hell out of me, spell it out to the stupid prick.