Solutions to 10 yrs of negotiations

[newshoes68]

My financial divorce settlement has never been sorted .
Mediation was halted due to my ex not providing disclosure and telling the truth.

10 yrs later: I've been in the marital home paying all the bills, kids, sch fees, house maintaince . Everything , my ex pays nothing to me at all. I'm feeling trapped!!

House prices have since increased by £300k in this time ( house valued this wk) and my ex says he wants 50% . Even though it seems a fortune it is relative to the
Location in the country . My children are in the final years of high sch and relocating is not an option .

I run a business from home , my client base is 5 Mile radius and need the floor space to carry on my business , as smaller house would reduce my income by 50 % .


There is no pension pots . My ex has had all the savings, endowments ( owns a second property , which he rcvd a small rental income from which is 200 miles away )

I cannot get a mortgage as I'm self employed and my net income is low.

My new partner of 5 yrs is willing to sell his house to by out my ex but my ex is will not accept that as s solution .

I'm going to start a 2nd lot of mediation on my own, and frightened the whole thing is going to financially get out of hand and cost £££££
Please help-
Has anyone experience settlement or have any further solutions ??

[newshoes68]

"The lack of maintaince and support is the reason I've had to use credit cards and tax credit " ...
Some time I find it so difficult to unpick my own problems. Thx

[newshoes68]

Would he owe capital gains tax on marital home as he has not lived here for 10 yrs??- he is renting, - would this be classed as his 1st property ???

[daisychain01]

How were you granted a divorce without financial settlement being resolved? That tends to be the condition of completing the divorce court issuing the Decree Absolute doesn't it?

[newshoes68]

I'm in the SE uk

[newshoes68]

Divorce went to court.
Nisi was granted while doing mediation .
2 yrs mediation still on going - then the mediator , refused to carry on due to his lying.
After 2 yrs absolute is publicly available . ( sorry don't know legal words)

[newshoes68]

Lelly - I need to understand this Narc stuff more. :-////

[newshoes68]

Update:
Yesterday's dead line set by ex .
Just looked at email account and ex sent figures that I've been waiting for at 11.57pm.
Last night.

I'm now understanding so much more, mind games , control, belittlement . Obstructiveness ......... ( any other suggestions????.....)

His last words are let's avoid solicitors and they will be the only winner ....
I replied with " speak to my solicitor"

[newshoes68]

Feeling trapped and tortured. - ok - I need to re instruct my solicitor and get this NARC out of my life .
Thx for all your support .
I know I've done my best. Thx you .

[Wolpertinger]

He wants to avoid solicitors as it prevents you knowing your rights - just think you much you have learnt in this one thread! For example that you have rights to his property too, not just him to the house you live in, he can't force a sale if your partner will buy out...

He is a pathetic bully who has used this to dominate you and your family for years.

Armed with this knowledge you need to stop letting him set all the deadlines.

Hurrah for you sending him off the your solicitor

[newshoes68]

Thx you wolper- yes just in this thread I have learnt a lot .
This evening I'm going to educate myself on
Narcissist In divorce .

[newshoes68]

Every time I suggested something he would say " I'm a dictator and unless I spoke to him in a nice manner he wasn't going to listen "
Every suggestion he has poopooed it .
That why I have run out of ideas-
He gets me in tangles every time

Recently I have said " if I was such a dictator it would of all Ben sorted instead of taking nearly 10 years - FFS!!