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Original poster

Slept with colleague

75 replies

Conundrum12345 · 24/07/2016 21:13

On Friday I was out with work. I ended up sleeping with one of the contract managers we've been flirting for the past 3 months. Client relationships are frowned upon and we work very closelyrics together

He kissed me when we were at the bar and went back to mine. We talked a lot about relationships and life and he told me some pretty deep stuff (both very drunk) including actions of his that would be sackable offenses

As he was leaving he said some pretty nasty things like was I to be under no assumptions that I'd even go on a date with him and saying oh I bet ull call me drunk now. Just being arrogant. Obviously haven't heard from him

I feel so stupid, not only is he not very good looking but it's going to be so awkward and I'm not a ons kind of person

I'm 31 and he's 33

Any advice?

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/07/2016 20:50

In the words of Shaggy (No pun intended, I'm sure).
Just say It wasn't you.

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/07/2016 20:54

Don't beat yourself up about it. We've all made mistakes. Better to find out he's a knob now than weeks/months/years down the line.

If he does tell everyone, be blase, say you were really drunk and laugh about it not being very memorable.

fastdaytears · 26/07/2016 20:58

I personally like "oh god no, things are bad but not that bad yet" when asked about a sexual indiscretion.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 26/07/2016 21:01

If anyone else says anything just laugh & say 'in his dreams'.

If he says anything just look at him in a withering way & carry on with work.

Don't worry about it. He has FAR more to worry about than you, you're not the one doing coke, and at work at that!

Worse things happen at sea.

...and yo can't get off the fucking boat 😁

conkerpods · 01/08/2016 23:48

Did you see him today OP?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 02/08/2016 09:40

Style it out OP - at least he let you know what he is like

Fake it till you make it , ie

Smile breezily
Avoid eye contact
Pretend like nothing ever happened - act like an acquaintance
Remember you have dirt in him too OP

And in time this will recede from both your memories xxxxx

But be very assertive - you have dirt on him so don't let him even think of mistreating you

Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 20/08/2016 01:06

Hi sorry for late reply on this. The Monday I went back in he messaged me about wOrkney stuff. I kept it very professional. In person he was veryour shy and awkward. Then he started texting me in the evening to which I was cordial but not giving much. He was on leave for 2 weeks and text me when he was away- again I replied but being cordial. I bumped into him when I was shopping after work one day (he was still on leave ) and we chatted for about half an hour mostly about work. He then text me half an hour later. His messageson are friendly and kind of flirty but I'm not really giving much back. What does he want?

OP posts:
winkywinkola · 20/08/2016 01:18

He wants you to be less cool. To reel you in again. It's not a positive thing.

He's probably baffled by how professional and detached you appear despite his clearly amazing handsomeness and devastating charm.

Don't waste time dwelling on his motives when he's simply looking for more of an ego boost.

merville · 20/08/2016 01:19

Probably trying to keep you sweet/on the line in case he fancies another session some time. You also haven;t run after him or acted keen so it's prob. made him more interested.
(Unlikely but he could also be keeping you sweet so you won't be a danger in telling people what he told you).

As he was leaving he said some pretty nasty things like was I to be under no assumptions that I'd even go on a date with him

But what does it matter given the above; this and his behaviour make him sound like an asshole to keep at civil arm's length.

jeaux90 · 20/08/2016 08:18

If he continues being flirty just have the grown up conversation with him. It was a mistake for both of you and agree to a professional relationship. It's ok. A lot of us have been there. Don't worry X

foursillybeans · 20/08/2016 08:25

Stay professional. Ignore any comments. He's sounds like an idiot so he'll sip get bored.
Bit Hmm as to why he is so arrogant when he told you things he's done that are sackable offences. I wouldn't get in to that though as it could start something you don't want to get dragged in to.

foursillybeans · 20/08/2016 08:27

Just read your last post. Honestly, I wouldn't even be texting back. I would just be backing away.

AtSea1979 · 20/08/2016 08:30

Who cares what he wants Confused he's a coke head and a prick why are you even replying? Seems like you just want to lower the bar and play the game, be warned this will not end well. Take ^ advise, do not reply.

Thattimeofyearagain · 20/08/2016 08:38

He wants a booty call. Keep it professional. He is a knob.

SandyY2K · 20/08/2016 09:59

Why are you responding? If it's not work related then ignore it.

MilkyChops · 20/08/2016 10:05

Pretend that nothings ever happened and that's that. Get on with your work and be cool and collect.

(Whilst remembering at the same time you know how much of an arrogant twat he is)

Seekingadvice123 · 20/08/2016 11:37

Echo previous posters..... ignore and be pleasant and professional

RaymondinaReddington · 20/08/2016 22:10

Good advice above.

Who knows what he is thinking but he behaved really badly.
Best case scenario/kindest interpretation is that he regrets it and likes you but ultimately if he has it in him to behave so horribly then don't give him another opportunity.
Head up high and don't engage - it won't end well.

Hissy · 21/08/2016 10:40

Only reply to work related texts sent in work time.

Anything else ignore completely.

Imscarlet · 21/08/2016 10:45

Does nobody think that he might like her, might have liked her for a while before the ons, and panicked that morning? And is trying develop things now? (Disclaimer, I haven't been in the dating game since the 90's, things appear to have changed significantly!)

dangerrabbit · 21/08/2016 12:18

No, he sounds like a game-playing prick who is trying to reel the OP back in because he is frustrated that her reaction has be restrained, professional and appropriate. Well done OP, keep it up!

Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 21/08/2016 13:59

Yeah I'll stay strong! Hard when you still ki da like someone but reading over my original message I've remembered what a d*ck he was and now essentially wants me cos I'm not chasing him

OP posts:
dangerrabbit · 21/08/2016 16:48

Good for you conundrum. It's not easy when you really like someone.

Hissy · 21/08/2016 19:12

You don't treat people you like, like this.

If he'd made a mistake in being an arrogant rude prick, the option to apologise is always there.

Engaging with him allows him to think this is acceptable. It isn't

Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 25/08/2016 19:58

Thanks all. I haven't heard from him and he's very awkward when we have to speak. He passes my desk a lot and i catch him staring at me, and being very red. I'm holding my groubday though! To put the cherry on the top people in work have being saying how great I look lately! :)

OP posts:
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