Random question... Do you put your 14 year old children to bed or do they go themselves?

[Halfwayoranges]

Friend has a bed routine for her 14 year old son and it's become an area of dispute between friends this lunchtime. Is this unusual to you?

Bed routine? Milk, potty, teeth, story? Or "ds, it's 10, school night!" "Ok, mum, night!"?

DS had been taking himself to bed since he was 8. We pop our head in about an hour or so after he's gone up to make sure he's turned his music & reading light off.

Oh that makes me nostalgic Portia. I remember Emmanuelle reading circles by torchlight.

Erm, no. Just no. Apart from a reminder of the time, dd has been sorting out he own bed time routine since she was 7. Before that if you include me washing hair or shouting the odd reminder about toothbrushing as doing it herself. I've still always gone up to say goodnight, and sometimes read together at bedtime still now at 12. I can't imagine her reaction if I started helping with bedtime, let alone at 14.

30 mins ago I yelled (three times) at just-13 ds to get off the bloody Xbox and go to bed. He came and gave me a kiss, I reminded him to brush his teeth, off he went. I assume he's now in bed and probably asleep!

It's is the school holidays though; during term time I might be a bit stricter about ensuring his phone was charging downstairs and lights were out by 9pm, but I am both suffocating and a meanie

And the 14yr old puts up with this?!

Unkitty I found a copy of Lady Chatterly at my Grandmother's house and managed to borrow it. I was very popular in the torchlight circle
Lace was another educational text we read

Well it my be that her DS may need a bit of 'downloading time'. When mine were about that age, bed time was when they were ready to offload, after a full day of school and then homework etc. It was often the time when I found out what was really on their mind. So perhaps that's where she is coming from. In my experience few parents of teens like to tell their own friends about their children's anxieties, but they need just as much reassurance as younger children, but unfortunately not at a convenient time of day!

I think changing makes a good point, communication with teenagers can be incredibly hard so sometimes a few minutes chat at bed time might just be appropriate (agree it's such an inconvenient time ) ........ it's not exactly a 'bedtime routine' but perhaps that is what is implied? In my experience teenagers need their parents' support - in a totally different sort of way - even more than they did when they were younger.