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Relationships

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What one piece of advice would you give about organising a wedding?

85 replies

RestlessTraveller · 18/07/2016 09:10

Ok so I have made it to the grand old age of 40-something without getting married. So imagine my shock when this weekend I suddenly became engaged. Now I've not been to many weddings as I was living abroad when all my friends were getting married. So what would your one piece of wedding planning advice be?

OP posts:
seimum · 18/07/2016 13:50

All that is actually required to get married is the ceremony.

Everything else is just a party you are giving for your friends to celebrate - so as others have said: invite who you like, have lots of food and drink available & don't feel pressured to have anything you don't want.

PeppermintPatty10 · 18/07/2016 13:53

Don't give meaning to things that are unimportant - colours of tablecloths, etc!
All you need are friends, food and booze.

kittykarate · 18/07/2016 14:26

If you don't have a table plan, make sure you have more chairs than guests so natural groups aren't split up. I've been to 2 weddings with no table plans, one was a real pain as there were exactly the right number of chairs so I ended up sat on the only available chair away from everyone I knew.

dmango · 18/07/2016 14:39

I would say say hold on to what really suits you, don't be led by tradition or what others are doing.
Eg 25 years ago I went with the whole big, white wedding everyone looking at me in my princessy dress...not really my thing at all ( hate attention) so found whole day a bit of a trial. Since then we've renewed our vows in small intimate service with a lovely meal after soo much better and had a party for a significant anniversary which was just a lot of fun! both of these were much more fun than wedding and felt more like 'us'

rubberducker · 18/07/2016 14:41

Make sure your guests know general timings so they can plan meals around it - for example, we got married at 2pm with wedding breakfast at 4.30pm - we put this in the information sheet that went with the invites with a suggestion that guests made sure they'd had a big breakfast or light lunch to keep them going. We also served canopes after the ceremony. The last thing you want is hungry guests.

SandyY2K · 18/07/2016 14:41

Don't worry about perfection and getting every little thing right, like wedding favours or the like. Those things are so insignificant and nobody will notice if they're not there on the day.

Sorry one more .... Remember your wedding is one day, but your marriage is hopefully forever. Don't let little things cause arguments between the two of you.

Tinymrscollings · 18/07/2016 14:59

Decide on who you'd like to have there and how much you'd like to spend and then decide what kind of a wedding you're going to have according to how much you've got per head. Far better to have a simple day, filled with the people you love, than something inordinately fancy where you need to prune the list so you can afford it.

And as others have said, don't sweat the small stuff. I'm an event planner and I regularly see people get caught up in ribbon colours and garnishes whilst Rome burns. Plenty of decent food, plenty of something nice to drink are all you really need.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 18/07/2016 15:16

Don't skimp on food, drink, places to sit.

Also, calm your tits (had to apply this to myself several times). People used to put in their best dress and get a minister in to their drawing room.

Katedotness1963 · 18/07/2016 15:46

It's your day. Do what is important for the two of you.

Try to find 15/20 minutes where you can sit quietly with your husband, have a glass of wine and chat. The day can be a blur.

When it comes down to it, this is one day out of your life.

Kr1stina · 18/07/2016 19:54

Congratulations !

You have some Great tips here. I especially agree with

Don't read wedding magazines
Don't sweat the small stuff
Pay for it yourselves and have it the way you want
Treat your guests as guests and not as unpaid extras in you wedding show. Make sure they have enough food , drinks, chairs and entertainment - they won't care about anything else

ShelaghTurner · 18/07/2016 20:12

Make sure the guests are fed and watered ASAP and always have somewhere to sit. Other than that, go for whatever you want.

Skiptonlass · 18/07/2016 20:29

Not so much one thing but...

What do YOU want? Small wedding? Elope quietly? Massive bash? Don't let anyone force their idea of what a wedding should be onto you. Fund it yourself if family are using money as a bargaining chip.
How much do you want to spend? You can get hitched on a budget, if you are canny.
Weddings are a nightmare for extraneous crap - I had someone have a go at me for not having chair covers. Bugger that...all you really need is good company, then feed and water them in a niceish venue. we had nothing like favours etc - v simple flowers, and plenty of good food and drink. Dresses can be had off the web pretty cheap. Don't get sucked into dress hell, or wedding colour hell, or stationery hell, or matchy matchy bridesmaid hell. Or any of the other stuff that's not important at all. Think if you'll remember it in twenty years - so you'll still be wearing your ring, you'll still remember the ceremony and the honeymoon but you won't give a toss about the lack of chair covers....

We did the following; 80 ish folk, incredible venue ( huge old building and botanical gardens for a couple of hundred quid, because it was a university building.) no fuss, ten minute secular ceremony followed by fizz outside. Wander down to dinner venue, no big gap between wedding and dinner! Do your photos first! eat, speeches, booze, dancing, fun. Couple of bridesmaids told to wear whatever they felt comfy in.
People are still telling us it was one of the most chilled, fun weddings they've been to.

So anyway, do what you want within your budget. We blew most of ours on an absolutely fucking incredible honeymoon to Tahiti and we've never regretted it. I'd also say your wedding rings will be something you wear everyday so pick carefully.

Congratulations!

RosieandJim89 · 18/07/2016 21:13

When considering the guests, things that went down really well with us were, having the toasts before the meal not after so that people weren't having to stay in one place or keep kids still and I made little activity buckets for the kids so that they had something to do during the speeches and between courses. It gives the parents a bit of a break and helps keep kids from tripping over waitresses. We also had a bouncy castle but that was as much for the adults as the kids.

Lelloteddy · 18/07/2016 21:18

Don't include a poem asking for money with the invites Wink

LippyLiz · 18/07/2016 21:21

Do what you want to do. Don't stress about the fine details, you don't really care when the day comes. Enjoy it, it flies by X

BikeRunSki · 18/07/2016 21:22

Feed and water your guests well and often. And don't go abroad.,

Kr1stina · 18/07/2016 21:36

Don't have any speeches , everyone hates them .

iloveberries · 18/07/2016 21:37

Speeches are one of my favourite parts!

Diddlydokey · 18/07/2016 21:39

The most important thing is that you're getting married... don't go mad on stuff that you're being sold that doesn't add to your day and the memories/enjoyment

Enjoy the planning. It really is fun and only as complicated as you make it

Diddlydokey · 18/07/2016 21:40

I love a speech

LellyMcKelly · 18/07/2016 21:54

Decide what is important and ditch the rest. So much is superfluous. I had the full works - fancy cars, lilies flown in from Brazil, castle in another country, giant cake, live band, the works. Now, if and when I do it again, it will be a quick registry office in a normal dress, not trussed up in some satin horror, and a barbecue on the beach with great friends and family - it's to celebrate our future together, nothing else. If you want the full works then totally go for it, but enjoy the planning (some people love that sort of thing, and don't do something that completely stresses you out. I now know that I have no interest in fancy flowers or cars at least!

Esker · 18/07/2016 22:22

Congrats on your engagement!!

Cut out unnecessary headaches like favours. They are a total faff and don't add in terms of enjoyment what they cost in time and hassle.

Buy your cake from M&S online / or other supermarket. I always laugh when I hear about people going to a cake tasting. It's cake FFS!

Kr1stina · 18/07/2016 22:34

You peeps who love speeches are just weird Grin

NameChange30 · 18/07/2016 22:39

Congratulations on your engagement!
The best thing I did was to buy and read the book "A Practical Wedding". It kept me sane throughout the planning process. It helps you to focus on the important stuff (each other, not chair covers!) and it's full of tips for you and your partner to plan a meaningful celebration and navigate any dramas that might come up with as much grace as possible!

NameChange30 · 18/07/2016 22:43

TheGoldenApples Great minds Grin