DH and Drugs

[helpmedotherightthingagain]

Found out that my DH is smoking Heroin. Again. He says that he is doing it because our relationship is so bad and the only way he will get through it is for me to wholeheartedly show him love and respect and not anger.

The trouble is i'm very angry and I dont feel like calming down and showing him love. I know its difficult for him but. What should I say/do?

Tell him to leave immediately. This will not end well for you or your children if he stays.

He's an addict and is following the well worn path of blaming everyone but himself.

You can't cure him . You can't help him.

Tell his family, tell your family, you will need RL support.

You can do this.

Has he started stealing yet?

Jesus Christ OP. Aside from all of the other obvious issues, you can't have a heroin user in the house with kids FFS. Get the hell out of there.

Using heroin. Again?

Please, please pay attention to what other posters are telling you. You are standing on the very brink of a precipice. If you don't take action quite soon you could be in danger of losing your children. It's almost inevitable that you'll lose him eventually but that will be his doing and not yours.

"Show him love and respect"? Show him some bloody backbone instead! Being with a partner who does heroin is not acceptable. Being with a partner who does heroin when you have children together is beyond the Pale.

He's got to go.

Leave him now. Protect yourself and your children.

Having been in your shoes. I chose to leave. I cut him out of mine and our daughters life until he pulled himself together. I saw this yesterday on pinterest and it reminded me of how I felt in that time. Get out before you drown.

Please watch Ëverything you think you know about addiction is wrong" TED talk before making a decision.

I'm sorry, but how can you even ask this question? You need to get him out of your and your children's lives pdq.

flanjabelle I like that very much.

He is a heroin addict. Imagine how awful it would be if one of your children ended up living with a heroin addict. This is bad.

What do you do? Really?!! You throw him out! Why are you letting a heroin addict anywhere near your children?

The thing is, most people don't understand the dilemma the op is facing. It seems so cut and dry doesn't it? They are a drug addict, make them leave. But that person is the person the op married, had children with, thought she would grow old with. It's not fucking easy to switch it all off and do the right thing. I know that because I had to do it. It was so difficult in fact, that I called my hv and told her exactly what was going on so that I couldn't go back on my decision to cut him out of our lives. Dd is my whole world and I knew that if I didn't cut him out, she would be in danger and she might be taken away from me.

It wasn't fucking easy. The person under the drugs is someone you love, and the shift doesn't happen immediately. There is a whole myriad of emotions to go through first. A huge part of it is denial.

Op, you need to do the right thing. It's so unbelievably hard, but you need to be brave right now and make the right choices for your children. You need to put aside the fear of being alone, the guilt at what he might do (no matter what happens he makes his own choices, this is not your fault), the feeling of taking your children's father away, the uncertainty you are facing now and do the right thing. Your children are relying on you to protect them, this is your job.