Does this ring true ?

[Purplespy]

Ive recently posted a thread and left my controlling partner . I've had immense fantastic help from Wonens Refuge they have been truly amazing and kept me as safe as possible whilst undergoing the split and after . However , something has been bothering me and was wandering if anyone thinks thus rings true ....
Just before I left my partner he said

[OurBlanche]

Odd... I have been saying the same as Oleanna... she is right... and those telling OP otherwise aren't helping her get a full and clear view of what her ex is doing - which quite possibly is true or could just be him trying to use a perfectly legitimate security clearance request to keep a smidgeon of control.

So the answer, as I think both Oleanna and myself have said, OP doesn't have to play. She can refuse any further information... and she can work out whether or not he is playing silly games if she knows what can and does happen every day for very many people.

[OurBlanche]

Ah! Good timing Purple I was looking for something similar. I won't bother you with it now

[VulcanWoman]

Stop waving your dick around like some kind of secret agent and use your common sense.

[IJustLostTheGame]

I have a foreign office working friend.
She says this is bollocks.
For some levels people have to submit a list of people they are close to.
And some of those may be investigated. May be. But it is all done with the person being looked at having no knowledge of it.

[Purplespy]

Thank you for that . He will try anything . God knows what else he was up to

[jayho]

bollocks called here to, I work for the government, at the very worst they'd ask for names of contacts, DOB and then do the digging themselves

[OlennasWimple]

IJust - what do you mean by "the person being looked at"? The employee or contractor knows they are being looked at, as they complete the application. There's nothing to stop them telling others named on the form that they were included but you don't have to.

[RaspberryOverload]

I used to work in the MOD. People did know if they were being looked at for quite a number of jobs, not least because you knew when applying for them that they had a higher level of security that involved being vetted.

[JackieAndHyde4eva]

they can't just find out "what they want

Youre right, they know fuck all. We're all safe

[OlennasWimple]

Here's a link to guidance for completing one of the security vetting forms, showing the level of detail (including addresses) requested. Ex-H would be unusual to include, but not unheard of, eg if partner was co-parenting with her ex-H and the applicant had frequent contact with him

[Purplespy]

felt really uncomfortable when he was asking for information on my ex husband I knew something didn't add up . My exh would NOT be happy if he knew this

[Purplespy]

Thanks for the guide

[HazelBite]

I've worked in several government departments over the years and they all have different levels of security. I have never been expected to give details of my ex husband.
Tell him that if they need to know this info they will have to contact you direct (which they would do if it was that important)
In the real world why would they expect an ex partner to know the details of the other expartner,s ex husband?

[Oly5]

No. Ignore him and his lies.
Well done for escaping him

[Purplespy]

The more I am away from him these things are coming to me . I suppose he acted so definite in what he was saying , I felt intimidated into giving him info , and if I didn't answer him quick enough he would get irritated and said I was lying or hiding things . I'm just glad I didn't give him his new address as I genuinely couldn't remember it

[smilingeyes11]

Unless he is 007 I cannot imagine anyone would be interested in the whereabouts of your ex husband

[Penfold007]

OP well done for leave this controlling and abusive relationship. I say this very gently but stop being so naive, he is your ex partner he needs no details of your financial details or that of your family or former husband.

[Montane50]

Out of interest, whats his occupation?

[Vagabond]

It's bullshit. My dh works for the gov't and went through extensive security clearance. Some of it involved information about my family but certainly not about my ex or my credit cards etc...

Don't fall for it. Brave girl!